Discussion Trauma

[Hunter2005]

Is there anyone who has so much trauma it's impossible to continue on? Like I've tried healing and nothing works. It's like I keep ruminating and reliving my traumas.

 

[Gossamer]

Yes. It bites at your ankles and throat like a rabid dog, it buzzes in your ears, so many mundane things trigger you. Goodness, you wake up, and you want to die, you go to sleep, and you're insomniac, or having nightmares, you can't process your emotions, and it adds up and it adds up, and when you think you're getting better, you relapse. It's agonizing. It's not that it's hopeless, that's not my point, but it's so painful, and you go past your breaking point so many times that it makes you long for sleep eternal.

 

[divinemistress36]

Your brain gets stuck in fight or fight mode after all that trauma. It's just in survival mode 24/7 it's very tiring

 

[tbroken]

Is there anyone who has so much trauma it's impossible to continue on? Like I've tried healing and nothing works. It's like I keep ruminating and reliving my traumas.

Me.
I tried to heal, but in a certain way i already knew i was screwed from early age. I even sabotaged all the good things i was doing, because deep in my self i knew there was no hope for me. I was unlucky in life and 2 or 3 episodes, made my life even worst. Funny thing is that i had all the cards to play it well in a way or another, but an injury and depression caught me and totally destroyed my life. My only option was to escape, but in a decent way, not with all the mistakes I've made.
Also my parents know that I'm depressed and they treat me like an impaired and all the sharks and bad people that i wanted out of my life forever are there watching me with their evil eyes. I'm really fucked up and i want to end it as soon as i can, but I'm keeping my self lucid for some last moments of fun and to ctb in a proper way.
Today for example was a really bad day, i could not even enjoy the gracious company of the same passions that kept me company my whole life, without feeling pain.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes, yes, and yes.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I wish that it could just be a one-and-done thing. I wish that the shit that happened years ago was over with. But no, years later it keeps going. Years later it keeps fucking you up. I wish it was like a cut that would heal, but it seems more like a tumor that keeps coming back whenever you think it's gone.