I
iwanttodiee
Member
- Jan 4, 2023
- 9
So my life was normal until I was 5 yo.
My sister has undiagnosed autism, so she hit us (me and my mother) even when we screamed her to stop, she attempted to murder us several times, specially my mother (I was the one who taked the knife out of her hands, because my mother was to scared that she did something to me). My mom was full of scars and marks, when my dad's cousins noticed their asked if it was him, and my mom told them the truth and their were in shocks, their started judging us, treating my mom like a bad mother when believe when I said she is the better mom I could ever have.
My sister constantly tried to kill herself, but she wasn't genuine, she tried with only a pill one time for example, just because I cut her hair out of anger after she hit me on the sofa several times that day. Once she tried to kill herself in front of her high school just so they kept her in there. Because she was about to being expulsed after hitting two girls with a desk.
She stopped when she was 21 and I was 14.
I am 18 right now.
And I am still traumatized.
My life is a mess, and nobody understands me, bc normally the abused ones are neurodivergents, not the abusers. So they invalid my experiences, telling me that I should forget and forgive her. Because she is family, she is female, she is autistic, etc.
And I'm just exhausted.
Her abuse messed my mental health, and made me and extremely toxic person, so I don't have long during friendships, since they cut me off.
I'm alone, I'm toxic, I'm depressed, I'm traumatized. I'm suicidal.
My sister has undiagnosed autism, so she hit us (me and my mother) even when we screamed her to stop, she attempted to murder us several times, specially my mother (I was the one who taked the knife out of her hands, because my mother was to scared that she did something to me). My mom was full of scars and marks, when my dad's cousins noticed their asked if it was him, and my mom told them the truth and their were in shocks, their started judging us, treating my mom like a bad mother when believe when I said she is the better mom I could ever have.
My sister constantly tried to kill herself, but she wasn't genuine, she tried with only a pill one time for example, just because I cut her hair out of anger after she hit me on the sofa several times that day. Once she tried to kill herself in front of her high school just so they kept her in there. Because she was about to being expulsed after hitting two girls with a desk.
She stopped when she was 21 and I was 14.
I am 18 right now.
And I am still traumatized.
My life is a mess, and nobody understands me, bc normally the abused ones are neurodivergents, not the abusers. So they invalid my experiences, telling me that I should forget and forgive her. Because she is family, she is female, she is autistic, etc.
And I'm just exhausted.
Her abuse messed my mental health, and made me and extremely toxic person, so I don't have long during friendships, since they cut me off.
I'm alone, I'm toxic, I'm depressed, I'm traumatized. I'm suicidal.