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darkwater

Experienced
Apr 17, 2021
247
It's like a movie is playing in my head and I'm replaying the situations. I get panic when I meet people. It goes so far that I only go out at night. I go for walks in the forest. Many would be afraid, but for me it is the only place where I can relax and feel safe. At night in the forest. My head is broken I do not want to see people anymore. I was thinking about moving to Siberia before the dog in Moscow destroyed everything.

I only find comfort in the thought of not deserving better. I could be hanged on the gallows in Iran or imprisoned in a North Korean forced labor camp. In World War II, 50% of entire generations died. Why should I have it better. I really think I will not survive this year.
 
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Reactions: throwawayyy, Sulyya and puppet_nihilist
puppet_nihilist

puppet_nihilist

cogito, ergo sum
Jan 8, 2021
227
Why should I have it better, I wonder the same
 
Sulyya

Sulyya

Synergist
Mar 6, 2023
541
It's a noble thought you have, that many people don't think about. You do have some spirit I think.