Trapped by SI

[ilovecats]

After a bit of research, I've decided to ctb with sn, but without antiemetics or benzos. I just can't wait to die. I've been spiraling for months now and the thought that I'll soon be dead is the only thing that makes me feel better.

But... it's VERY hard for me to get over SI. I've "attempted" before with sn (Didn't even get to ingest it. Spitted it out instantly) and from then, it's hard for me to get close to that point again, as I get vivid images from that "attempt", start to shake and gag uncontrollably just from holding the glass.

I really want to do it asap but I don't want to fuck it up either. How can I get over this? Any tips?

 

[DivineSpark]

Survival instinct makes me feel trapped as well.

 

[ilovecats]

bump

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I think if anyone had advice to give that many of us would not be here now. SI is very difficult to overcome for many of us. Sorry you're going through it too.

 

[ilovecats]

Then I guess I'll try my best to force it because I can't take this anymore

 

[diopdawe]

I am planning to use a lot of benzos to surpass SI.

 

[bankai]

Been there. I went through the same thing. Few weeks ago I was so sure of doing it. Fastened my rope to the pull up bar and put a noose around my neck. Once the noose went around my neck though, survival instinct was so strong. i just couldn't let myself collapse and do i