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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,905
Toxic positivity and therapy culture is the new religion of the modern age because the crowd believes the advice given is true and criticises people who don't follow the advice.

I am so sick of people saying "go see a therapist". Therapy for me is not an option. I have tried going through the NHS system and i have been unsuccessful. The problem is NHS decides whether you meet their eligibility criteria for treatment. I have looked into private healthcare its too expensive. Many people like me exist.

Yesterday I was on discord this patronising toxic positivity person was telling me to see a therapist and to "love myself" after I said because I have gone through so much male rejection throughout my life I am now physically incapable of feeling any love or giving love. I don't want to go through another rejection again my mind lives in constant fear. All I have ever given is love but men exploited that how can I ever be normal going through something like that all my life constantly. Things are progressing between this guy and I but I can't even enjoy the affection he gives me and I really want too.

I explained because therapy is inaccessible to me all throughout the years I had to fix my own problems because I don't have that option of seeing someone. This patronising toxic positivity person then criticised me for not taking advice and not caring what other people think on the server. The arsehole was being all philosophical saying " I have deeper issues which go beyond being single"

If guys I loved didn't treat me so horribly I would have been a normal woman like everyone else. I am so sick of people saying there is help out there when there really is NOT. Just because some people are lucky to have a therapist on speed dial not everyone else is.
 
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concession

concession

Member
Jun 3, 2025
61
I do not understand how your whole life can be defined just by some assholes rejecting you. There are so many different things in life that can occupy you and give meaning. Maybe the reason you can not build lasting relationships is that you just a person that has nothing interesting going on in life that is prone to blaming others?
 
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nobodycaresaboutme

nobodycaresaboutme

maybe my English kinda sucks
Jun 30, 2025
197
very relatable
Sorry you couldn't get the mental health care you needed and encountered such an asshole.
While therapies don't always fail but it's not the case that therapies or hotlines work for all the problems.
Even in modern age there are many physical diseases that cannot be cured. I don't know why people assume there are no such mental health ones. These unrealistic assumptions are driving people like us in a corner
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,778
Maybe the reason you can not build lasting relationships is that you just a person that has nothing interesting going on in life that is prone to blaming others?

They are a very interesting person with a lot going on- if you happened to read any other of their threads.

Regarding the original post, I just think it's an easy opt out for people to tell us to see a therapist. Sometimes it can be a genuine hope that someone else may help us but, it's also quite a brush off. Plus, as you say- it assumes that a therapist and meds will be able to fix all our problems. They may be of great help for some people but, not by any means, all.

I also sympathise that the NHS is overburdened and it can be very hit and miss as to whether people receive the help they need.

I believe you are studying again. Does your uni not have someone? I saw the college therapist in my second year of uni because I was struggling. They mostly seem keen on making sure you keep doing the course (and paying tuition fees) but, maybe it's still worth a shot?
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

🔑 LTO tape exists
Apr 10, 2025
915
Quite annoying. Glad I found the forum so I know what not to say. (tho my experience with death wishes has also guided me away from non-helpful advice)

mmm, I'd avoid mentioning too much feelings over discord, or even flat out claim that I am on a 3 week waiting list, claim that the therapist is a no-show, next one is 2 weeks, etc if they press too much with that.

Toxic positivity can probably be fought with toxic fiction.
 
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hippiedeath

hippiedeath

Dead on the inside
Jul 12, 2025
176
I have no problem seeing a therapist. I've been in therapy, it helped. I just have to deal with all the fucked up people around me every day which is a total drag.

Finding a good therapist is next to impossible. If you don't get a good therapist, you'll come out all fucked up like them. It's all about money anyway.

That being said, fuck therapy, because in reality and practicality, it's as fucked up as the rest of the universe.

Sorry if you're suffering. It's the world we live in. I hope you find what you are looking for.
 
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RadiantNumber

RadiantNumber

Specialist
Mar 2, 2024
312
Agree, be happy, go to doctor, take yours pill, believe in yourself and everything will be right.
That's bullshit is pushed to us
 
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PI3.14

PI3.14

what is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider
Oct 4, 2024
242
People won't understand your pain unless they go through it themselves, that's what I learned.
 
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TheShadowQueen

TheShadowQueen

≽^- ˕ -^≼
Dec 5, 2023
242
Listen I understand therapy isn't an option for you but that doesn't mean you should view it in a bad light. Everyone on this site is the lowest of the low (Not in a bad way) so it's reasonable that therapy if available doesn't work.

For the average person therapy is the answer it isn't toxic positivity to suggest to someone that they should see a therapist.
 
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W

WhatCouldHaveBeen32

(O__O)==>(X__X)
Oct 12, 2024
485
If the people can't see therapy for the toxic positivity THAT IT IS, maybe we evolved in the wrong direction with the ignorance is bliss technique.

We gassed the invasive rabbits in australia and a small % developed immunity, should humans be spared from a quick and harsh evolution? Should random individuals suffer for no fucking reason because the whole population wants to be coddled away from the shitty life we live in because they accept to be molded and brainwashed from a young age? Why should I accept that? Why shouldn't we just accept the world for the shit hole it is and deal with everything that comes after.

Mass suicide? Mass homicide? Mass hysteria? Mass depression? So what? it's the truth, we live in a world that is closer to hell than it is to heaven, if we never accept that , we will always have to mentally lobotomize ourselves to protect us from all the shit, why should I who chose not to be brainwashed have to suffer?


The rebutal would be "Why should I who chose to be brainwashed , suffer?"
BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE THE REST OF US SUFFER. Edit: We are not even allowed to voice all of our problems, but every normal brainwashed person can do whatever they want to us, talk to us in whatever manner they wish, belittle us as much as they possibly can, a big fuck you to them.


(Side rant) WE ARE NOT IN A BURNING BUILDING, what a shitty analogy, burning building? you got that right, that's our home , it's unlivable, I'm on the pavement looking at my home burning , the only place where I can live , the only place where I can sleep away from the elements of nature and nobody is helping me extinguish it. It's always about the normal people even that original analogy shows it, they want to escape the "random unmarked burning building" , no you idiots, you burned my fucking house and now I'm forced to watch it crumble to the ground because nobody is sparing any water, I should have died with it.
 
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R

Roseate

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2021
489
They have a point. Therapy doesn't fix all, it just gives us healthier ways to cope with life shit. It seems like you might need that. It's just a guide for you, but if you can't afford as long as you're finding ways to somehow still find and use those healthy mechanisms through life, there's no need. I know it seems like advices like "loving yourself" seem so tone deaf but it helps you use those healthy mechanisms, you know? I think the problem is they don't know how to say it, but there is a reason a lot of people who get better uses those same words. Also we don't have to mock them, not everyone who is positive is the enemy. Some of them are just trying to survive like the rest of us in the best way possible.
 
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psp3000

psp3000

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,700
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Ijustcantanymore

Ijustcantanymore

Experienced
Nov 22, 2024
216
Because modern day therapy is there to get you back into being a cog in the machine and nothing more.
 
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gottacheckout

gottacheckout

Arcanist
May 20, 2025
489
I do not understand how your whole life can be defined just by some assholes rejecting you. There are so many different things in life that can occupy you and give meaning. Maybe the reason you can not build lasting relationships is that you just a person that has nothing interesting going on in life that is prone to blaming others?
Sounds like you have a problem understanding or empathizeing with another person. FireFox has an interesting life, this is just one part of her. Granted, my relationship with her is fairly new but she was interesting enough to me that I chose to read some of her older posts to learn more about her. I haven't found anything about her that would bore me.

She would definitely not be so needlessly harsh to another person.
 
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claracatchingthebus

claracatchingthebus

Clara seems to be waiting for something. But what?
Jun 22, 2025
250
I do not understand how your whole life can be defined just by some assholes rejecting you. There are so many different things in life that can occupy you and give meaning. Maybe the reason you can not build lasting relationships is that you just a person that has nothing interesting going on in life that is prone to blaming others?
romance and relationships are a human need, like water

don't have any water? suddenly not having water is going to be an important part of your life that can define your existence

that's true for everyone except possibly humans with autism or those who have some brain damage from drug use or those who have become acclimated to a state of alienation, which some people are not even able to do if they wanted to
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
5,168
romance and relationships are a human need, like water

don't have any water? suddenly not having water is going to be an important part of your life that can define your existence
The thing is, you don't need romance. Romance is a want, not a need. Plenty of people are able to go their whole life without feeling like they want or need romance in their life. I don't just mean Aromantic people either. Even plenty of alloromantic people are able to go through life not caring about romance that much. You only "need" romance about as much as you make yourself think you do.
 
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claracatchingthebus

claracatchingthebus

Clara seems to be waiting for something. But what?
Jun 22, 2025
250
The thing is, you don't need romance. Romance is a want, not a need. Plenty of people are able to go their whole life without feeling like they want or need romance in their life. I don't just mean Aromantic people either. Even plenty of alloromantic people are able to go through life not caring about romance that much. You only "need" romance about as much as you make yourself think you do.
it probably varies for different people. i think firefox's experiences that she shares are relatable and feel normal to me.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
5,168
it probably varies for different people. i think firefox's experiences that she shares are relatable and feel normal to me.
Okay, but objectively you don't need romance. Desiring something a lot =/= it being a need
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,780
Its hard to find a good therapist. Its taken me years to find one after going through like 5 of them and talk therapy for me personally was useless and yes they are expensive. I started emdr to try to help address all my trauma. Therapy just tries to get you to look at things from more a neutral point of view than positive in my experience, I still want to die but therapy gives me something to do until ctb . As far as men go at 37 years old I realized none of them were ever worth it. Sadly predatory type men go after women when they are at their lowest
 
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E

easyb123

Member
Mar 26, 2025
47
So true, it's like they can smell it on you. I can't trust my judgment of ppl at all right now.
I'm glad that you have access to a good therapist -that at least hopefully offers your frequency and severity of triggers as well as coping tools for attacks when they present. I get how ptsd when triggered, can make you feel like your whole body's been hijacked & takes you right back to where it happened even though rationally you know you're out of the danger. It's such an alien thing to experience. I was in denial for a long time it was very hard for me (or my ego) to accept my diagnosis for some reason (that my time w someone has this level of reverb) but when my second therapist whom I liked a lot, gave the same diagnosis, -I had to begin to wrap my head around it. Therapy was too expensive for me to continue so the most frustrating aspect for me is thinking I'm healing and time is helping, only to be run over by a trigger out of nowhere & set me back. It feels very out of control.
Thanks, your comm resonates.
 
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