L
lonleycrowdedwest
im so dumb i misspelled lonely
- Aug 16, 2021
- 127
I've been feeling very lonely recently and down on myself. I don't have a negative body image, even though I dont work about and am skinny I still like my body and face, but I'm just too much of a neurotic mess to be datable. I have had one girlfriend, we wet when we were 17 and ended up on and off for a while, then she suddenly left me for good my freshman year of college, during my first semi-manic episode. I don't blame her but I dont think ive really recovered, even though I don't miss her. I stopped flirting with girls since then, and I've only been with one other girl since, when she came onto me. I really liked her and she came over every day for a week, but I think she thought I was weird by the end and left. Everyone around me thinks I'm weird, and the only people who will hang out with me are childhood friends who ended up living in the same city as me. Even they treat me weird, and leave me out of important conversations and such. As much as I am lonley, I'm not an incel type, I don't blame girls for not liking me they can be into whatever they like, its just very hard sometimes being alone for so long in a row. I have trouble sleeping without fantasizing about someone there with me, as pathetic as that is.