Venting Too broke to cbt

[bl00deater]

Would I be an asshole if I got my boyfriend to unknowingly pay for my sn? I mean after I get it I don't care. my sister is sending me money today but I doubt it's enough to cover it

I already have it planned in my head, I'll ask him for food money, then order the sn and tell him about the nonexistent food I ate, he'd be none the wiser I don't plan on calling anyone when I take the sn like my brother did (he called his fiancé), me and my boyfriend have been together six years.

I'm just so ready to go atp, I'd lie to anyone including him

I'm kind of hesitant we were going to go on our first real date in December, but I don't wanna be around that long

 

[MidnightDream]

Would he put two and two together?
If he did, he'd probably blame himself, and that kinda guilt could tear anyone apart. I don't think I could live, or die, with that kinda guilt, so I don't think I could do it.
But if you could, that's ok. And if that's your only option, I get it. I don't think it makes you an asshole, everyone lives with a different moral compass.
Maybe you could leave him a letter, explaining that it wasn't his fault. Might help alleviate it slightly?