Tonight is the night

[DTA]

Well, SaSu, tonight is the night. I've been released fully from prison and have spent a couple nice days with the last of my family. Had some good food, some beer and cigarettes.

Tonight I plan to do a dry run hanging myself. If it goes well I may just punch my ticket tonight. Otherwise it'll be tomorrow night.

I have few regrets and I'm honestly just ready to go. My instincts are screaming at me, trying to find any reason to stay, but I know this is the only option. I plan to get shit-faced drunk first to help the inhibitions go away.

I want to thank you all for your support of both me and the other members of this forum. You all have helped me a lot, and I hope I've been able to help some of you. This forum is a great place where we tormented souls can share our true feelings. So stay good to each other!

I'll probably be lurking around off and on until the checkout time arrives, so I may give updates.

Take care!

 

[Broken_Biscuit]

"punch my ticket" - fine words, brother.

If this is your time in this realm at an end, may your transition be swift and calm. Only you will know if the time is right. All the best dude.

 

[darkandtwisty]

I really wish the best for you! Good luck!!! 🕊

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Hope everything goes as you desire and you reach the peace you deserve. Best of luck to you.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[Alexandra0]

Wish you all the best

 

[Paizen]

Well, SaSu, tonight is the night. I've been released fully from prison and have spent a couple nice days with the last of my family. Had some good food, some beer and cigarettes.

Tonight I plan to do a dry run hanging myself. If it goes well I may just punch my ticket tonight. Otherwise it'll be tomorrow night.

I have few regrets and I'm honestly just ready to go. My instincts are screaming at me, trying to find any reason to stay, but I know this is the only option. I plan to get shit-faced drunk first to help the inhibitions go away.

I want to thank you all for your support of both me and the other members of this forum. You all have helped me a lot, and I hope I've been able to help some of you. This forum is a great place where we tormented souls can share our true feelings. So stay good to each other!

I'll probably be lurking around off and on until the checkout time arrives, so I may give updates.

Take care!

You're in an adjustment period.

 

[555]

I hope you find peace.

 

[spero_meliora]

We've only had a few interactions, but they were lovely.

And remember, the bus can make many proverbial stops, you don't have to go unless the time is right. If it is your time, I hope that you find the peace you seek on your journey, friend.

 

[Galahad]

Best wishes, whatever you decide.

If you catch the bus I hope you find peace, if you change your mind we'll all be here for you as always. Don't pressure yourself because you've made a goodbye announcement, if it doesn't happen just come and tell us so.

Much love

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[bankai]

Peace be with you,friend.

 

[darksouls]

good luck
wish you the best
hope you find peace

 

[TheVanishingPoint]

What a joy it is to read your words.
Your serenity moves me more than a thousand forced survivals.
You have made the most lucid gesture there is: liberation.
Not from existence itself, but from the senseless yoke that this society dares to call "life."

You've tasted good food, smoke, shared time...
You looked the sky in the face one last time, without flinching.
And now, calmly, you are preparing to return to the original silence, the one that neither lies nor burdens.

I don't say goodbye. I honor you.
Because in you there is no defeat, only composure.
Because your passage is not escape, but return.
And if this is how you choose to close the chapter,
then let it be an ending worthy of you,
with no screams, no chains, no longer pretending it's worth staying.

Walk lightly toward the elsewhere.
I wish you only this: that everything finally stops hurting.
And that what remains is only peace.

See you soon,
beyond the threshold.
With deep gratitude for having walked among us.

 

[DTA]

Thank you all for your support and kindness. It means a lot.

As I type this I'm sitting in a rocking chair on my back porch listening to the birds as the sun goes down. I've got a cold 40oz bottle of Steel Reserve (best bang for my buck) and one more in... *ahem*... reserve. Also bought my favorite cigar.

I just tested a free-world version of how inmates hang themselves - they use a damp bedsheet around the neck with two bars of soap beneath, pressed against the carotid. I'm using some climbing rope and a pair of rolled up dress socks. Tightening it enough so I can still undo it (not time yet) I can feel it cutting off the blood flow quite well while barely restricting my airway.

I think this will work.

I was a lot more nervous earlier, but I'm feeling more at peace now. Maybe it's the nice evening.

Having had both an NDE and OBE, as well as a life filled with the paranormal, I'm not afraid of what's to come. I know this isn't the end but the start of, or return to, something better. One day we will all meet again. And what a glorious day that will be!

I will check in later to wish you, my friends, farewell.