Tonight *finally* I'm going to drink SN - dunno if it's going to work

[Freakazette]

I made a test yesterday by drinking a little bit of alcohol, I didn't ate much, and still got sick and couldn't drink more, felt like puking. I slept right away afterwards.

Therefore, when I woke up today I did ate ( some bagels ) and had an orange juice, a coffee. This was around 11-12am.

Now it's 7:30pm.

I'm planning on drinking just another coffee, it helps me.

Then no more drinking anything.

I will only take some anti-acid ( Dicarbocalm).

Dunno if SN will work on me, I took 2 days OFF work just in case I will wake up...

But since the alcohol did get absorbed, why will SN not, right?

I just read a case of someone's who woke up after drinking 40 mg, though... Slept 8 hours at first, and then 10 more hours afterwards.

Wish me luck, I guess...

I don't believe in anything anymore, I have also an odd organism/body.

What do you think, though? Should I fast more? Maybe drinking a last coffee will interfere? But I will not drink anything anymore for 2-3-4 hours... Dunno if AGAIN I will postpon it tomorrow but it's a neverending circle... My idea today was to drink SN before sleep, just getting into bed after taking SN.

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Update
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Maybe just 2-3 more hours no longer than that. Perhaps 2 hours.

If in 2 hours I'm sleepy, I will drink SN... From 20pm to 22pm, 2 hours without drinking... At least 10 hours of fasting...

Now I'm still enjoying my last coffee ( 7:30pm ). Oddly enough, am already tired even with coffee... But I don't feel like sleeping yet.

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Another update
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I never passed out in my life ( am 30 now ), even when puking hard and feeling really sick. Or hurting like crazy.

Hopefully SN will make me more tired and get me at least to sleep faster... With oxygen deprivation within the body, right?

Dunno if I'll vomit or not... And if is going to be absorbed at least the necessary lethal amount in order to die in the end. I don't want to wake up. Oh, of course, first I have to pass out. Will I even pass out?

Will have to find out...

Hugs,

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2-3 more hours and I don't know what will happen... Does being anorexic maybe kill you faster? What if I don't pass out and feel all the process? I never did all my life didn't matter the pain I was in... I felt it all...

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Wishing you the best - It's never too late to back out if you get apprehensive at all but it sounds like you know what you want.

 

[Freakazette]

Wishing you the best - It's never too late to back out if you get apprehensive at all but it sounds like you know what you want.

Thank you! I hope it will lead to death...

Hugs,
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I'm worried more that I will not pass out...

 

[Joey]

I wish you peace and I hope the afterlife brings you whatever you always wanted if there's one.

 

[Freakazette]

I wish you peace and I hope the afterlife brings you whatever you always wanted if there's one.

Thank you!

Hopefully it will work...

Still afraid I'm not going to pass out or wake up with damaged organs.

Hugs,

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[FuneralCry]

If this is the option you want then I wish you peace.

 

[LostSoul1609]

If this is what you want I hope you'll find peace.

Bless you ❤

 

[Freakazette]

What if my heart stops first? I have a feeling that my heart is going to be affected really bad.

I already have problems breathing and my heart beating fast at the sligthest effort.

Mention: I suffered for like 15 years of anorexia and still am affected.

Hugs,

 

[noxin]

Since you are choosing this path, I wish you peace.

 

[aminend]

I wish u best, thats sad to see u are leaving us :(

 

[archipelago]

All the best, I hope you find whatever you're looking for, no matter the outcome

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I hope you find the peace you desire

 

[Freakazette]

Thank you all! I'm still concerned how my organism is going to react if it's already messed up, weak and such, especially my organs, heart...

If I pass out or not.

Hugs,
.

 

[Loneliest]

I wish you safe travels! Wish I could give you a hug I'm sorry life has brought you to this point.

 

[LansJ70]

I wish you the best but I don't understand these kinds of "what if" posts.

What if it doesn't work on me? What if I wake up?

It's kind of like asking what if I don't breathe for 10 hours, what if I drink a deadly poison but I somehow survive, what if I shoot myself with a shotgun but the pellets bounce off?

Basically what if I'm special and different to other people?

Well in that case you'll still be alive and no worse off than you were before. But you are just like everyone else and if you follow the process you will not wake up.

What you're really saying is please tell me this won't kill me and I'll be okay, I just need to feel loved.

If you aren't sure, then please do not do it.

 

[hʚll]

i wish you eternal peace<3 hug

 

[Freakazette]

I wish you the best but I don't understand these kinds of "what if" posts.

What if it doesn't work on me? What if I wake up?

It's kind of like asking what if I don't breathe for 10 hours, what if I drink a deadly poison but I somehow survive, what if I shoot myself with a shotgun but the pellets bounce off?

Basically what if I'm special and different to other people?

Well in that case you'll still be alive and no worse off than you were before. But you are just like everyone else and if you follow the process you will not wake up.

What you're really saying is please tell me this won't kill me and I'll be okay, I just need to feel loved.

If you aren't sure, then please do not do it.

I'm not saying that...

I want to die! I need this. That's why I'm afraid of failing so much. Sorry about my "what ifs".

 

[SelmaJezkova10]

I wish you a lot of peace :)

 

[Loneliest]

I wish you the best but I don't understand these kinds of "what if" posts.

What if it doesn't work on me? What if I wake up?

It's kind of like asking what if I don't breathe for 10 hours, what if I drink a deadly poison but I somehow survive, what if I shoot myself with a shotgun but the pellets bounce off?

Basically what if I'm special and different to other people?

Well in that case you'll still be alive and no worse off than you were before. But you are just like everyone else and if you follow the process you will not wake up.

What you're really saying is please tell me this won't kill me and I'll be okay, I just need to feel loved.

If you aren't sure, then please do not do it.

Yo actually I think I can relate to OP. I do have some what ifs but that's not because I don't want to die. It's because I had a few failed attempts in the past that I worry that this one will fail too. When I'm thinking about what ifs, I'm thinking more like wtf am I gonna do if I survive. It's the worst feeling waking up to know that you're still alive :( Of course I will follow the protocol and wish for one thing and one thing only

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

For what it's worth I think people pass out from the lack of oxygen either way, rather than the pain. But I can't say myself.

 

[Freakazette]

I will have to find out...

I don't have the courage, I'm such a coward.

Hopefully it it absorbs, the lack of oxygen will make me at least sleep?

It's 10pm now, I want to drink it at 12pm. Or when I feel like already sleeping.

Hugs,
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[GoneAndForgotten]

I'm sending so much love <3 Never be afraid to back out if you don't want this in the end. You're not a coward, it's perfectly natural.

 

[grail]

I wish you the best. I understand the fear of it not working. don't know if you're planning on it, but you probably shouldn't have another coffee at this point. caffeine increases acidity.

 

[Freakazette]

I'm sending so much love <3 Never be afraid to back out if you don't want this in the end. You're not a coward, it's perfectly natural.

I want this. I'm a coward.

I just hope that the lack of oxygen throughout my body can kill me, since my organism is already messed up. I don't want to wake up with my organs even more ruined. Maybe jumping off a height building is a little more sure?

I don't want to back up...

I wish you the best. I understand the fear of it not working. don't know if you're planning on it, but you probably shouldn't have another coffee at this point. caffeine increases acidity.

I'm not. But I will wait some more, just in case.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I will have to find out...

I don't have the courage, I'm such a coward.

Hopefully it it absorbs, the lack of oxygen will make me at least sleep?

It's 10pm now, I want to drink it at 12pm. Or when I feel like already sleeping.

Hugs,
.

Please keep us posted after you drink sn how are you feeling. Please

 

[Freakazette]

Please keep us posted after you drink sn how are you feeling. Please

Yes. I will.

I will take just some anti-acid before... Dunno how effective it will be.

How many minutes beforehand should I take it? 45 mins or 35 mins?

I totally forgot... My stomach is like already hurting... Hopefully I'm not going to ruin my organs even more...

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Update
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Okay, so 30 minutes beforehand I should take anti-acid - that's what is saying in the megathread. Double the dose. I have exactly 2 capsules left of anti-acid. ( Dicarbocalm Control , that's about it ).

I also have ibuprofen but don't want to take it...

Now it's 23:10pm.

My stomach is weak, I know it. It's already bothering me. Hurting.

I also read that SN can leave a whole in your stomach...

Dunno what will happen.

When I feel ready, I will take 30 minutes before the anti acid. I've also took a sip 30 minutes ago of bicarbonate but couldn't drink more. I will have to drink only SN...

I'm concerned my stomach, organism is already weak... And if SN doesn't kill it, it will ruin it even more? I don't want to wake up like that...

Or maybe it will make more sick?

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Later update
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I don't have even the least bit of courage and I will never have. Is now or... Never, of course.

I guess I'm thirsty... Sleepy, tired... But cannot drink anything anymore.

Fasted from 11-12am. Now it's 11:30pm.

I think I will wait some more, I cannot remember exactly when I drunk a lil' bit of water. Was about to take the anti-acid but I will wait one hour more, or one hour and a half. I will be definetly sleepy by then if now I'm dreaming about sleep...

Maybe just one more hour, I don't want drinking interfering with SN... I think I will drink the SN out of thirst

Hugs,

 

[Snake of Eden]

I hope all good with you. If you decide to go or stay i wish you the best

 

[Freakazette]

I hope all good with you. If you decide to go or stay i wish you the best

I'm already tired and scared... I don't trust my stomach nor my body...

Hugs,

 

[Elysium Searcher]

If that's what you really want, then I wish you a peaceful departure from our world.

 

[Loneliest]

I'm already tired and scared... I don't trust my stomach nor my body...

Hugs,

Just remember that you don't have to do it now if you're not sure. If you are, I wish you peace.