Venting tomorrow

[dantexxnfrn]

today i realized that i have no future. the more i stay in this world is the more pain that i feel. i cant get a job. i cant do anything right, any single thing at all. it really hurts me to think that my few friends will be shocked and saddened, but i can't do this anymore. i can't. i don't want to live in this world. everything is so hard. every day i get mood swings, i dissociate, i think about ending it all. no matter how much i try, things always fall apart. i wanted someone to hold me in their arms and just protect me but i know now that this person don't exist. no one will freely love me and let me vent to them.
i have no idea how im gonna do it, i just want to run really far away. maybe I'll try to bring a rope or a knife, i don't know. I'm scared. not scared to die, but.. scared of this world. the people, the places, everything is so frightening. i feel so scared and lonely that it physically hurts. my chest hurts, my body feels like it's getting crushed by some heavy weight.
I'm scared but i need to do it. i need to end it all.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring suffering like that, to me existing here certainly is so dreadful. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.