Tomorrow is the day

[throughtheglass]

So, I've decided to CTB on Sunday

I can't deal with my shitty life at all. Every day is like a mental torture where everyone hates me for having this shitty mental health problems and trauma on my back. I used to be gifted, now I failed another year at uni. I've always been treated like some kind of an outcast monster that should be abandoned by everyone or even treated with a disgust by my peers, co-workers and family. No amount of treatment will help me fix this shit. The only person (let's call him M) left me two years ago and I still miss him. He hates me now with a passion and... everything went to the shit without him.

I was abused by my parents, bullied by my peers and now I am lonely piece of shit that deserves to suffer.

I started my fast and I'll use SN in my method. My only wish is not to fail this method or be found by anyone. I hope I succeed because a mental ward would made me even more miserable.

 

[hoffnungstod]

Hopefully everything happens the way you want it to.

 

[NodusTollens]

Sorry to hear things have come to this point, love. HUGS. It sounds like you've been through a lot.

I hope your journey is a peaceful one.

 

[makingsure4]

Sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I also miss my ex a lot and feel if he were in my life it would be better. But he refuses. The only thing I get from him is he lets me follow him on twitter which makes it a tad better. Hard when you think they are the only one who really gave you the time of day partner wise. I'll probably never "get over" mine. Now I'm alone all the time mostly so no hope for new relationship. There was a fire alarm recently and an awesome fireman talked to me so now I keep hoping the fire alarm will go off again in the building.

 

[WornOutLife]

Looks like you have a plan.

Sorry to hear you're leaving.

I can do nothing but wish you the best and hope you can finally be at peace.

Hugs and love

 

[Zhontafly]

Sorry to hear about the circumstances you are facing. All the best with your method. I hope it works out for you. Peace.

 

[Zhontafly]

no talking out someone who is already a lost cause

the moment u choose to blame everything and everyone else on ur misery is the moment u lose

Actually she explains that her problems lie with mental health problems and trauma. She didnt go into detail about it, and that is her choice. She speaks further about being treated like an outcast by her peers, co-workers and family. Right or wrong, she believes that they hate her for having these issues. Where did she blame everyone for her mental illness and trauma? She also believes, right or wrong that no treatment will help her. We should not judge her, for we are not in a position to. We are not close enough to her, we havnt lived her life and have no direct experience with it.

 

[throughtheglass]

Alright, I have to clarify - by saying 'conservative' I meant narrow mindness, not a political view. It was a mental shortcut, didn't want to offend anyone on my behalf. Sorry.

 

[death137]

Alright, I have to clarify - by saying 'conservative' I meant narrow mindness, not a political view. It was a mental shortcut, didn't want to offend anyone on my behalf. Sorry.

There is nothing offending about what you said. That person shouldn't have said what they said especially in your goodbye thread. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[throughtheglass]

Uptade - I probably do it later because my mom found out. Shit, I feel like a prisoner here

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

I am lonely piece of shit that deserves to suffer.

You do not deserve to suffer, I hope you find the peace you seek one way or another.

 

[aminend]

I hope SN works completely peaceful for you. Keep us updated as much as possible

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Goodbye friend, hope you find peace

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[rs929]

When you say "I am a piece of shit who deserves to suffer", you are repeating the message of those who have bullied you in the past

You don't deserve to suffer.

Also, are you sure you have exhausted all your alternatives regarding your mental health?.

I wish you luck no matter what choice you make.

 

[Toptock]

I hope you find what you're looking for, and I honestly hope it's better than you imagined.

 

[*Hope*]

Might be too late, but if you're reading this: You don't deserve to suffer and you're not a piece of shit like the people who abused you have told you.
You're stronger than most people, because you've been through alot of hardships, and for that you deserve only the best! Hope you find peace

 

[throughtheglass]

I'm going to take all these meds without antiemetic soon and then SN. I'm scared that somebody could find me on time, so wish me well on my new journey

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I just want you to know that you mattered in life.

 

[lost_soul83]

I'm going to take all these meds without antiemetic soon and then SN. I'm scared that somebody could find me on time, so wish me well on my new journey

You have a beautiful soul and I'm sure your suffering will be coming to an end soon no matter what you choose to do.

 

[Pookie]

Sorry it has come to this and you didn't have to take such drastic measures. I wish you peace.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I wish you peace and a pain-free journey.

 

[Going Home]

So, I've decided to CTB on Sunday

I can't deal with my shitty life at all. Every day is like a mental torture where everyone hates me for having this shitty mental health problems and trauma on my back. I used to be gifted, now I failed another year at uni. I've always been treated like some kind of an outcast monster that should be abandoned by everyone or even treated with a disgust by my peers, co-workers and family. No amount of treatment will help me fix this shit. The only person (let's call him M) left me two years ago and I still miss him. He hates me now with a passion and... everything went to the shit without him.

I was abused by my parents, bullied by my peers and now I am lonely piece of shit that deserves to suffer.

I started my fast and I'll use SN in my method. My only wish is not to fail this method or be found by anyone. I hope I succeed because a mental ward would made me even more miserable.

I can relate to you being an outcast. It's been that way for me for the last four years.

I wish you and me peace.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Hi @throughtheglass
just wanted to ask if you're coping and if you're ok? I hope you've got someone to talk to, it must be a hard decision and you really don't have to do this. Sending hugs

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I used to be gifted, now I failed another year at uni.

The number of gifted kids I've seen in my life who've experienced hardships in university... it's a sad, but all-too-common story. I myself was a gift child. I skipped two grades in elementary school and started university when I was 16. By my third year, I had failed 5 of my 10 courses. There's so much pressure on gifted children to always succeed, it causes so many mental health problems that they don't have the means to cope with or the support to help them through. Everyone always expects perfection from them, and anything less causes them to hate themselves and feel like a disappointment. On the plus side, I can tell you that I did overcome this failure. I ended up going to grad school, getting a doctorate, and becoming a college professor. Remember that not all failures are permanent. There are ways to work through it.

The only person (let's call him M) left me two years ago and I still miss him. He hates me now with a passion and... everything went to the shit without him.

I can completely empathize with you on this point as well. My "M" ruined my life about 18 months ago and he's the only person who can restore things and give me hope. But he hates me now (as I hate him) and this is how I know things will never be better.

I'm sorry to hear that you've gotten to this point. I hope you find comfort and peace in whatever way feels best to you. Know that you have our support if you need it.

 

[Pookie]

Sorry it has come to this and you didn't have to take such drastic measures. I wish you peace.

Can't edit it anymore but I meant "and that you have to take such drastic measures."

 

[Sea Turtle]

Wish you peace

 

[x~Sophia~x]

@Meditation guide
Last seen 8.52am Sunday and that was the time of their last post.

I hope you're at peace @throughtheglass

 

[aminend]

R I P.