Told my doctor I want to kill myself said to go to emergency room. Anyone done this?

[lili]

Hey everyone,

I've posted here a couple of times. Almost a year since I've been a member. Really glad to find this community. Hope you are all faring well despite the perpetual sadness that exists amongst us, and for what we can handle at least.

I have posted back and forth that I want to just end things on this website. Did an overdose recently didn't work as usual. My SN never arrived, failed the first attempt of SN.

Can't really get around doing a rope or falling method. Or stabbing I am not that extreme of a person although I really do want to get out of here.

I just told my psychiatrist I really want to end things, I've not really been eating at all so maybe it can just be a slow one.

Anyways I told him yes I am suicidal as hell and will end things if I find the opportunity just because I really don't care anymore. But then I have a mess with his service so he said he can't really handle that type of care so I needed to go to the emergency room.

But what am I supposed to do just walk in an emergency room and say hey I'm here because I want to kill myself. He said thats a very serious thing that you can go but I don't know. I feel like people in the emergency room don't talk that seriously because every time I've gone it has never been voluntary always with overdoses and they have been frustrated shamed me and it makes me feel worse.

So what like I don't really feel like going to an emergency room. I'd rather if it so happens I find a way to die this weekend I just do it. Maybe my doctor thinks I'm bluffing I don't know.

Has anyone ever walked into an emergency room for this before?

 

[MidnightCat]

Hi.

I've walked into emergency room 3 times now. All because of the suicidal ideas.

First one: Gave me another medication and asked: if I let you go now, will you suicide immediately?

-Nope. I'm here because a part of me is trying to survive this.


Second one: Looked at me and asked me what do I wanted from him to do. Not sure, no idea, I just need help, not sure how.. Up.

Welp, GL mate, if I let you go...

-Nope. So no help?

Can't do more.


Third time, with a recommendation from my doctor: Asked me a lot of questions, how, why, when... And genuine tried to help me. Offered alternatives to full hospitalisation.

I ended up going for a mont into a "Crisis Intervention Program" which was basically me going there for 4h and getting checked by psychologist, psyquiatrist, nurses... Talked a lot with people who actually got better. It was not bad if I'm being honest, felt a little warm in there.

They "released" me as I had trouble getting out of bed every day, now a nurse comes regret l every week to "try and help" (although not very good at it)


So... Give it a try, mine was somewhat successful the third time (in a period of 2 years) and some people did get better.

It may not always go well, or work out. But... We have nothing to lose.

 

[MidnightDream]

I've done it..

First time, I went in myself. Waited 3 hours to be seen by mental health team only to be told that because I went in there myself, I clearly didn't really want to die and I should just go home. They also told me I was too intelligent to want to kill myself, and that I should just wait it out.

Second time I was taken in by police. The second they left I found a nurse who didn't know why I was there and discharged myself.

ER really don't care - Ultimately, they're there to provide medical care and there isn't much they can do for a mental health crisis unless there's physical symptoms or you're very evidently unable to take care of yourself, usually for this you need to be unable to even recognise that you need care, and so by walking in yourself this is is automatically ruled out.

It's shit

 

[Looking]

It really depends on what kind of hospital you go to.

I've been to messed up hospitals. Like, ones that have traumatized me. But I've also gone to hospitals where everyone was so sweet and understanding and treated me well. So your experience will vary on location, time and whoever is seeing you.

I'm assuming you've checked into a hospital ER before, so I'm explaining this part to people who haven't, but are interested in doing so: You do not need to go to the ER in an ambulance if you do not want to, but that you can request it if you don't have other means of transportation. Sometimes a police will drive you there as well. If you call an emergency line (in the US, it's 911), if you tell the operator what's happening, they will normally direct the proper services to you depending on what you need. You can also call a suicide hotline and the same thing may happen.

There's a non-emergency entrance (typically) that leads you access to the ER. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but it's the entrance you want to take where there aren't a bunch of emergency vehicles are at, counting they're loading and unloading their vehicles with equipment and people on stretchers. It's just less chaotic. You also want to go on a day that's not full of people - So, you'd get better results going in the evening or late at night on a week day when there's no upcoming holidays on the calendar. Obviously, this just depends on whether or not you're in a direct crisis or not, so go whenever you need to, but you'd just get quicker service this way.

After you've enter the ER entrance and you've gone inside, there will most likely be a desk that says check in. You just go up to it and let them know why you're there. They will most likely ask you for your ID, ask if you've been there before, health insurance info, y'know, the basics. They will also most likely take your vitals, weight and height while you wait for a room. If it's not too busy, this process won't take long and you'd be taken to a private patient room.

At that point, you'd be seen by a doctor. It's their job to provide you resources, so if it's not something they can handle on their end, it's their job to tell you alternatives or where you should go. If you get zero assistance, you should request another doctor or go to another hospital. Or you can just ask them directly. "Well, where should I go then?" or "What should I do then?" etc.

The reality is, they'll most likely suggest you to go into inpatient care. If you want to cut the middle man, you can just look up inpatient care facilities in your local area and/or how far you'd be willing to drive out to. A police officer can take you to an inpatient facility as well, even if it's voluntarily admission, if you don't have other means of getting there. The experience will be similar to the hospital. You go in, go to the check in, wait in a lobby, etc. As most things, your experience will vary on which inpatient program you go to.

I don't know how it works in other countries, and I can only speak from my own personal experience.

If you are seeking help, then it's a good idea to know what kind of treatment you're seeking. If you're needing a place to go so you're not tempted, then it'd most likely be inpatient treatment. If you're seeking medicine for anxiety or depression, then you'd talk to your primary care and/or a psychiatrist. They will most likely prescribe you medicine fairly easily, even if you don't attend therapy - but a diagnosis might be required. If you're seeking a detailed treatment plan, then a therapist / psychologist is your best bet. There's more options than that, but if one location doesn't help you out, it doesn't mean that treatment isn't available to you altogether - it just means you're just dealing with bad doctors. Sometimes getting help is a bit complicated and it really depends on a lot of factors.

Genuinely, a suicide hotline provides a lot of resources for people. They will also call help for you, if you're too nervous to call an emergency line yourself or don't want to drive somewhere.

If you want treatment, you deserve treatment. Some resources are better than others, so make sure to look at other options for your location and/or health insurance options.

If you're unsure who accepts your health insurance, you can call your health insurance directly and they'd provide you a list of everyone who accepts their insurance. Sometimes that makes the search a lot easier on your end!

 

[Barteljaap]

I've done it..

First time, I went in myself. Waited 3 hours to be seen by mental health team only to be told that because I went in there myself, I clearly didn't really want to die and I should just go home. They also told me I was too intelligent to want to kill myself, and that I should just wait it out.

Second time I was taken in by police. The second they left I found a nurse who didn't know why I was there and discharged myself.

ER really don't care - Ultimately, they're there to provide medical care and there isn't much they can do for a mental health crisis unless there's physical symptoms or you're very evidently unable to take care of yourself, usually for this you need to be unable to even recognise that you need care, and so by walking in yourself this is is automatically ruled out.

It's shit

To be fair, there is a lot of strain on the healthcare system. It's understandable that they only want to help the people most in need.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I've walked into the emergency room by myself a handful of times and told them I was suicidal (sometimes that my therapist made me go) and they've always taken me back for assessment and whatnot. It feels super awkward and humiliating to do but just remind yourself it's an act of ultimate bravery to be open to help when mostly everything in you wants to die.

 

[my_sundown]

Is this typically what a therapist would recommend if you mention wanting to ctb, to go to the er?… so messed up you can't discuss it. So close.

 

[wait.what]

I've done this more times than I can count. I've had great experiences and traumatic ones. The standard advice is "go to your closest ER." If you are in immediate crisis and you need help NOW, do exactly that. Go by car or ambulance. Preferably have someone drive you if it's by car.

Tell the greeter you're suicidal and your therapist wants you to come here. Awkward to say that in a line of people with broken feet and diarrhea, but it is what it is. You don't need to explain in more detail.

When you see the triage department, tell the nurse you're suicidal, your therapist said you had to come. Stress that you have a concrete suicide plan and are very likely to carry it out if you are sent home. Tell them about previous attempts (if any), and if you have the materials to carry out your plan.

That's the basics. I don't want to overwhelm you with Uncle wait.what's Guide To Psyche Units, but I will say one thing more, since it's a common problem.

If your situation is actually kind of a gray area, decide before you get there if you really, really need to be admitted to a hospital in order to be safe. If you do, and you don't actually have one suicide plan you're committed to, just pick one, honestly. You are literally at Suicide University right now. Shallow water blackout—probably impossible in practice, but tell them it's that. You own a bathtub. Or an imaginary bathtub. You're prepared to ctb.

Unfortunately, having a placeholder plan may be necessary if you have to beat hospital staff over the head that YOU. NEED. HELP., especially if the ER is crowded, staff is short, you "don't look sick," and they wish you'd go away. Others in this thread have said as much.

If you're polite but really clear that if they do not find you a psyche bed ASAP, you are very much at risk of going home and attempting, they will knock off the arm-twisting and find you a psyche bed. It might not be soon, and it might not even be at that hospital, but they will do it.

Obviously, if your need is not that dire, then consider if making a safety plan might get you through a couple of bad days. It is less of a pain.

 

[Wannagonow]

Is this typically what a therapist would recommend if you mention wanting to ctb, to go to the er?… so messed up you can't discuss it. So close.

I'll preface this by saying all situations and the people involved in them are going to be different. With over 30 years here and there in therapy, I'll share what I know from my experiences.

I've had therapists that only gave basic, minimal care at best. I never worried about them as they weren't invested in my well being. They're not calling anyone.

However most of the therapists I've see have been professionals. The general rule of thumb is it's most often okay to say you have suicidal thoughts. Then they are absolutely going to ask you if you have a method and also a plan. Here's your fork in the road. If you say yes- I've got what I need and I have a plan- it gets serious. They are obligated, at least by license, if not the law, to see you get immediate help. There's nothing wrong with that if you feel unsafe and want help. Just be aware of the "rules".

 

[Looking]

I'll preface this by saying all situations and the people involved in them are going to be different. With over 30 years here and there in therapy, I'll share what I know from my experiences.

I've had therapists that only gave basic, minimal care at best. I never worried about them as they weren't invested in my well being. They're not calling anyone.

However most of the therapists I've see have been professionals. The general rule of thumb is it's most often okay to say you have suicidal thoughts. Then they are absolutely going to ask you if you have a method and also a plan. Here's your fork in the road. If you say yes- I've got what I need and I have a plan- it gets serious. They are obligated, at least by license, if not the law, to see you get immediate help. There's nothing wrong with that if you feel unsafe and want help. Just be aware of the "rules".

Similar experience. As long as you clarify you're not going to go through with it or that you CURRENTLY have a plan, you'd be okay. You can state that "in the past you thought about using [method]" or that in the past you used to browse forums, etc. But that you currently don't have a plan.

 

[UKscotty]

Here in the UK it is even worse.
They will keep you waiting and waiting and by time you speak to anyone they will have forgotten why you are there.
When you do speak to someone they will either just discharge you with some leaflets, or have you moved to a MH hospital, again taking another 12 hours of waiting.

Waste of time even going in my view.

 

[Brokensaddle]

Here in the UK it is even worse.
They will keep you waiting and waiting and by time you speak to anyone they will have forgotten why you are there.
When you do speak to someone they will either just discharge you with some leaflets, or have you moved to a MH hospital, again taking another 12 hours of waiting.

Waste of time even going in my view.

Don't forget the same old line of have a cup of tea or go for walk or have a warm bath. Like that's useful when you're having a breakdown. They simply don't care just paid to be there.

 

[Cathy Ames]

@lili how are you feeling today?

 

[MidnightDream]

To be fair, there is a lot of strain on the healthcare system. It's understandable that they only want to help the people most in need.

Oh yeah, as a healthcare student myself there's no denying the strain on the system. Unfortunately, it does come down to the argument of what constitutes 'most in need'. For many doctors and those with a medical background, that would be people with physical symptomology who require medical intervention in order to survive. However, mental health crises can also be life or death situations, and it's unfortunate that this isn't recognised in the same way.

 

[UKscotty]

Don't forget the same old line of have a cup of tea or go for walk or have a warm bath. Like that's useful when you're having a breakdown. They simply don't care just paid to be there.

I disagree, I think they do care but the NHS is just so under funded and resourced there is nothing they can do to help. The UK MH support system is by far one of the worst in the world.

If someone kills themself, the government just doesn't care one bit.

 

[lili]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for all the comments this is very insightful.

I have only been to the emergency room by ambulance or by police method. Through suicide attempts I have never just walked in there saying I was suicidal. So I don't know. I guess I am at a point in my life were I'm just so tired.

I had this talk with my therapist yesterday and he wanted me to go to the emergency room. I just it's hard because I feel depressed to the point that it's hard to eat or get out of my bed. So I don't get out of my house, I've spent two days not getting out of my bed at all, not even to eat or drink water. Then yesterday I ate a bit in the morning or drink some water. My ex boyfriend who still lives with me took my pills away, so I think I'm just completely hopeless from life.

So that's the thing I don't know if I have any energy to go to the Emergency Room. I also went there last Friday, not for depression reasons but because the levels of my medication were too high. And so I had to withdraw from them. I've tried so many medications and they all have issues.

But that's interesting to hear all the different experiences. I am just torn because I really want to end things, mostly because I feel I keep messing things up in my life and affecting people a lot. So I just want to just be sedated at this point and casted away from people. Just sleep not deal with any anxiety. I'm so depressed that CTB seems like such a difficult task. I have to find a rope which means going to a store. Wait for SN for a month if there even is a proper place to find anymore. The medications it entails. I don't know its too much to do.

Sorry for venting. But thanks for sharing those Emergency Room Stories of what it feels like to voluntarily walk in.

 

[theboy]

Something similar has happened to me

In a panic attack I was taken to the emergency room where I was only sedated.
On another occasion, a psychiatrist referred me to the emergency room for an antidepressant or sedative.
The last time I went to the emergency room for being depressed, crying, not eating, walking slowly. The doctors only gave me a sedative. I went home to try to sleep but the medication made me sick. I went back to the emergency room where they gave me another sedative... I slept profusely.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I disagree, I think they do care but the NHS is just so under funded and resourced there is nothing they can do to help. The UK MH support system is by far one of the worst in the world.

If someone kills themself, the government just doesn't care one bit.

I completely agree with mental health is being underfunded. It only gets 3% of budget out of whole nhs but some staff who work in mental are absolutely cruel and now right dangerously and neglectful when it comes to looking after and safeguarding patients. I meet a couple of lovely mh staff who have gone out their way in times to help but I've also meet staff who have encouraged me to end my life and have made abused at home just to cover their neglectful backs. Other sectors of nhs are underfunded but staff don't behave as bad. There are way too many rotten apples in nhs mh and nothing's been done about it.