TOILET PAPER MEGATHREAD

[nitrogen]

No need for toilet paper in these scenarios:

I'm tempted to kidnap a gingerbread man and scare the shit out of him:



Toilet paper won't do for this:



"Poop the potato" became a beloved holiday season game in the US in recent years @Underscore



@GoodPersonEffed I was gonna coronate myself the queen of the "ignored by GoodPersonEffed SS poisonous mothafakas" group. Might have to postpone it.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Toilet paper won't do for this:

Now you have me looking for a webcam in my bathroom...

 

[Quarky00]

Best toilet paper for the constipated, origami time @Quarky00 @Underscore

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/screen-shot-2020-04-03-at-11-48-11-pm-png.30885/

If you really think that's what constipated people can actually do , you are wrong , and should be burned in the village square !

Origami time? I wanna see you looking at pictures during child birth.

(never mind, you psycho probably did "take that thing off me , I'm reading" )

 

[Grendel]

I have a bidet/cat bed

 

[TheGoodGuy]

 

[Quarky00]

So then came this



Lol

TLDR: Not panic buying, we're shitting at home and not at office/school/etc ; and good nice home toilet paper is a different production line (than nasty office toilet paper) .


* Always here to help the party vibes with some hard [or soft 3 ply] facts

 

[Empty Smile]

Alright Timothy, you've been busted!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

 

[Deleted member 1465]

TLDR: Not panic buying, we're shitting at home and not at office/school/etc ; and good nice home toilet paper is a different production line (than nasty office toilet paper)

I used to save it up for work because...

This Calculator Shows How Much You Get Paid To Poop (And Pee!) At Work

Flush that productivity down the toilet

www.huffpost.com

View attachment 31195View attachment 31196View attachment 31194
View attachment 31197

Alright Timothy, you've been busted!

Noooo please tell me that's not real. I'm tempted/scared to reply to the text i got now.

 

[nitrogen]

@TheGoodGuy


@GoodPersonEffed Don't let @Underscore and his pet into your toilet paper bunker, PS, they both can fly:


Or prepare to get the shock of your life:


Watch @Quarky00 give birth to poo-poo - that is so hot:


Busted:


One more reason to not have children:

A Guy Allegedly Punched His Mother After She Hid The Toilet Paper Because He Was Using Too Much

The 26-year-old California man was arrested and charged with battery.

www.buzzfeednews.com

Guy allegedly punched his mother after she hid the toilet paper because he was using too much.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Am English language learning website used corona toilet paper memes for the subject of a lesson.

Toilet Paper Humor Saves America During Shortage

The recent toilet paper shortages have led to some of the funniest social media posts in the history of the internet. Here are four great toilet paper, or “tp,” memes on social media this week.

learningenglish.voanews.com

Words in This Story


cope – v. to deal with problems and difficult situations and try to come up with solutions (gerund: coping)

meme – n. n amusing or interesting picture or video that is spread widely through the Internet

post – n. a text, image, video or something else places on wall on social media or on a website

absurdity – n. a state or condition of extreme silliness or foolishness

hoard – v. to accumulate for preservation or future use in a hidden or carefully guarded place

receipt – n. a piece of paper on which the things that you buy are listed with the total amount paid and the prices for each

mask – n. a covering for your face or for part of your face

 

[Throwawaysoul]

Why get a bidet when you can meme? Am I right?

 

[faust]

 

[Oyoy]

 

[artificialpasta]

I'm from Asia and all your obsession w toilet paper is weird just use a bidet!

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I'm from Asia and all your obsession w toilet paper is weird just use a bidet!

bidets? they don't exist in the UK, we live in fucking boxes, no room for posh stuff!

 

[Oyoy]

 

[Cashewmilk]

I go through a 12 pack per week. I can't be 100% sure because my abusive sister steals mine to wipe her hands. But yeah, I had 5 12roll packs 3 weeks ago, now I'm down to 1 and a half. My mom got me another pack, so I have 2 1/2. I ordered some from my local grocery store, we'll see if it shows up. I have a painful bladder disorder and I pee 20 to 30 times per day. I also have IBS diarrhea and constipation, I go #2 everyday sometimes twice, and I have to use my left thumb and insert it in my vagina to push the hard balls of poop through my colon and out. Everyday, every time. For the past 9 years I've been living like this. If worst comes to worst I'll cut a towel up into small pieces and use a watering can to wash, then wipe with it.

I still can't believe the toilet paper issue. I remember after the first week the global hoarding started, all the companies in Canada said we will never have a shortage, there will always be toilet paper, we have all the tools and items needed to create toilet paper. What a crock of shit. Everytime I go to the store in every store it's empty. What lies. I hate people. But I love this pandemic I love how everyone is suffering because I hate everyone, and I love the social distancing measures and wearing masks in public. I guess it's a fair trade for me!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

In Mexico the toilet paper is not as abundant but is still available. Mexicans hoard beer.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Just popping in to drop a #2.

 

[Oyoy]

 

[nitrogen]

View attachment 31743

OMG, the closeup shot of the pores triggering my trypophobia. Yikes!!!!!

I'm from Asia and all your obsession w toilet paper is weird

This graph might answer your questions of Westerners' obsession with toilet paper - cuz they use a lot of it.


Both the cat and owner go: Oh shit.

 

[Blue Starz]

I never did the initial TP panic buy, although now i know napkins are wipe-worthy...

What i would like to know is... What the heck did humans do (dooo-doo?) BEFORE toilet paper was invented??!!

 

[foxdie]

Great thread Is this happening again with the new round of lockdowns?

 

[Sensei]

I still find this crazy. There was no such rush in my country at all.

 

[Ghost2211]

People in my state are hoarding toilet paper and pizza again....

 

[Brick In The Wall]

People in my state are hoarding toilet paper and pizza again....

Too much Pizza will give you anal leakage. Hence all the TP

 

[Nymph]

I live dangerously, only 4 roles at home

 

[foxdie]

People in my state are hoarding toilet paper and pizza again....

I saw it in March, people with shopping carts full of TP. I just get pick up now so I don't know if people are still doing it lol