TOILET PAPER MEGATHREAD

[nitrogen]

Do you have enough toilet paper to cover your ass?

Use this thread to show off your impressive stock of toilet paper, whine about the lack of a stock, share tips on outmaneuvering other shoppers in your area & photos of your shopping cart & funny memes and gifs.

I'll start:
This is my stock. Costco in my area limits one per member. I have to wait in line for 1.5 hr to get into the warehouse each time I go there. Sometimes they have toilet paper in stock, sometimes not.


Here's some funny coronavirus & toilet paper memes from my collection:


My precious



Play with Amazon delivery box to kill time at home


All toilet paper sold online nowadays is almost 100% scam


Trump virus

 

[mesohappy]

I aint got but about 8 rolls..Once thats gone,the knives come out...Just kiddin'..Ill just take a duece and jump in the shower if things aint better by then.
My dog just reminded me,I could scoot my ass over some carpet...When you invitin' us over?

 

[nitrogen]

When you invitin' us over?

Invite you guys over for what? A potty party? Or an SN enema party?

If you pay attention to that photo, I have more paper towels than toilet paper. Since paper towel is too rough in texture and I don't plan to develop anal calluses, I'm gonna have to keep fighting for toilet paper.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

The great toilet paper shortage of 2020.

 

[mesohappy]

Gotta toughen up the dook chute..Gonna be wiping with stones from the backyard soon.Maybe the corners of stucco walls.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

::Golgothan has attacked this thread!::

Golgathan (Shit Demon) 6


---Shit-Walker--- Golgothan
- Legendary Excremental -

:Each poster loses 1 roll of toilet paper.

:Each poster loses 1 turn.

:Each poster has stink for 2 turns.

 

[Goldfinch]

You guys really need to get a bidet , then barter the rolls for other valuables

 

[waterbottleman]

I'm on my last roll. Ive been able to get paper towels though so I have plenty of that. When my last roll is done I'll just wipe with the paper towels and throw them away in a garbage bag.

 

[Oyoy]

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I once saw shelves of toilet paper. They had many kinds, brands, and types, it was glorious!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I just stocked up before all this hit. Amazing luck for once. And I once lived in a house with a bidet. And yes, it is an...unusual experience.

The Romans used a sponge on a stick. They shared it.

Shit stick - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[MartyByrde]

Running dangerously low here. Wish I would have seen this megathread before I whined about my turmoil with tp on another post.

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

Don't worry, @mesohappy will save us.

See this post for details.

 

[262653]

Or you could use enema to flush most of the poop in a single shot without it sticking to you, then two-three wipe offs and you're set... unless you're very scrupulous about this thing as I do, then you also might want to apply some soap with water.

 

[departing]

I've been stocking up on toilet paper... I have about 50 rolls right now.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

 

[departing]

View attachment 30788

Yummy. Perhaps it's tastier than ice cream!

 

[nitrogen]

My typical once a week trip to Costco. Got lucky yesterday. 30 rolls of toilet paper added to my stock that adds up to 120 rolls in total.

A pattern I've discovered: some Costco stores open special hours for the disabled and seniors. In the San Francisco Costco, it's 1 hr earlier than normal store opening time on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The warehouse makes sure toilet paper is stocked up for special hours. It's a good idea to hit the warehouse at the normal opening time right after the special hours are over, there should be plenty of toilet paper left.

A picture of my shopping cart. PS, it's not me behind that box of diapers - I'm 100 times hotter.

 

[mesohappy]

Im bored....I got 600 rolls and wear better facemasks and I think that that is you,before plastic surgery.

 

[nitrogen]

Im bored....I got 600 rolls and wear better facemasks and I think that that is you,before plastic surgery.

Nah. This was me before plastic surgery:

 

[mesohappy]

Dang you were pretty..Why do people get so unsatisfied??

 

[nitrogen]

.I got 600 rolls and wear better facemasks

PS, these are the best masks:

 

[mesohappy]

Gotta make em outta citrus peels..Vitamin C! Vitamin C fights the viruses!

Your trained in medicine,you know this..

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Nah. This was me before plastic surgery:
View attachment 30839

That is so hot

 

[Luchs]

I've got two packs and a musket. Once I run out I'll go full fallout style raider and mug everyone for their TP.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Collecting toilet paper is the new Beanie Baby craze.



I googled "beanie baby toilet paper" images just to see what came up:





https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/most-expensive-toilet-paper-in-the-world-via-imgbuddy-com-x-750x315-jpg.30877/?hash=ad3510eb80308183f7ebb9d4a7d5e025

Here's the story on the gold toilet paper:

The Most Expensive Toilet Paper in the World

As consumers, we can cut back on a variety of things to save money, but there is one necessity that everyone must have. Toilet paper is an essential of

moneyinc.com

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/3t43ur-jpg.30878/?hash=ad3510eb80308183f7ebb9d4a7d5e025



https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/20821185-_uy400_ss400_-jpg.30881/?hash=ad3510eb80308183f7ebb9d4a7d5e025

How a Colorado woman is coping with quarantine boredom:



And finally...um, it looks like Stripes got along with a least one tiger. I mean, she (?) seems pretty relaxed, and she's smiling.

 

[nitrogen]

Best toilet paper for the constipated, origami time @Quarky00 @Underscore



Fun and cheap birthday present idea, you can literally give this to somebody every single year until that person dies. They sell the paper from 1 - 100 y/o.


For Donald Trump lover or hater, both works:



The little man can wonder about so many things, e.g. Why is it yellow? Why is there an undigested bean? Why is there blood? Why is it watery?



@GoodPersonEffed Welcome. You're my favorite person who ignores me.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

 

[Deleted member 1465]

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@GoodPersonEffed Welcome. You're my favorite person who ignores me.

Thank you &