Todays the day

[AlreadyGone]

Goodluck

 

[Indieblue]

Hope you have a peaceful journey.

 

[Nem]

Hope your time left is anxiety free, whichever you decide
Peace/hugs

 

[aukguy]

My attempt was cut short, well before it could even start, by a fire alarm at hotel - by the time we were back in my bottle had gone.

Been researching again before next try. A question though: some posts here suggest that the noose (in partial suspension) should go under the adams apple which seems like it would 1, slip up to the chin/jaw, and 2, thats not were the carotid artery is normally felt - i.e. you feel for it above the adams apple and under the jaw.

Any pointers appreciated.

 

[Lostandfound7]

My attempt was cut short, well before it could even start, by a fire alarm at hotel - by the time we were back in my bottle had gone.

R u serious?..Interesting..possible sign that it's not time..?..coincidence?

 

[aukguy]

Still think its time, just took me out of the moment I guess.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

My attempt was cut short, well before it could even start, by a fire alarm at hotel - by the time we were back in my bottle had gone.

Been researching again before next try. A question though: some posts here suggest that the noose (in partial suspension) should go under the adams apple which seems like it would 1, slip up to the chin/jaw, and 2, thats not were the carotid artery is normally felt - i.e. you feel for it above the adams apple and under the jaw.

Any pointers appreciated.

That's such a bad time to be inconvenienced. I feel for you sending warm virtual hugs and good vibes. I don't know much about hanging sorry. Wishing you peace though

My attempt was cut short, well before it could even start, by a fire alarm at hotel - by the time we were back in my bottle had gone.

Wait what bottle? Like determination or an actual bottle lol

 

[Comfortably Numb]

My attempt was cut short, well before it could even start, by a fire alarm at hotel

Do you not think this was a sign ??? … a great big FAT ring-a-ding ringing sign that is asking you to reconsider !!

 

[Lostandfound7]

Do you not think this was a sign ??? … a great big FAT ring-a-ding ringing sign that is asking you to reconsider !!

Agreed...N then for housekeeping to go in ur room n remove something that's not of "value", per se, not $ or jewelry, or electronics!? Imo, That might b a clear sign, luv..

 

[Alec]

I'm so sorry you are at this point!!! No body deserves to be in our situation! I'm so sorry for your pain! I don't know if any words that can make our situation better but I honestly hope that you don't feel so alone, I'm with you. Whatever you choose, to go the finish line with this or not to - I'm with you and I love you and I'm thinking about you and I'm keeping you close to my heart and in my thoughts. I'm wishing nothing but love to you, I love you I love you I love you!!!

 

[s1mplem3]

I know how hard is leaving your loved ones and taking your own life. I don't want you to go but at the same time I want you to be happy with your family. If there is a chance to change something and I can help you - please let me know, PM me anytime even if you just want to talk. I'm here for you.

 

[aukguy]

@s1mplem3 seems I cant pm you - probably as you just joined. thanks for wishes though.

 

[s1mplem3]

@s1mplem3 seems I cant pm you - probably as you just joined. thanks for wishes though.

Yes, just wait a little bit, I've lost access to my old account. If you want, just post in here for now.

 

[aukguy]

yes, sometimes going is the hardest but also the best thing you can do - ive done alot of damage so far, going would help to fix some of it.

 

[s1mplem3]

yes, sometimes going is the hardest but also the best thing you can do - ive done alot of damage so far, going would help to fix some of it.

You're right, but I really feel... afraid about your kids. As a person who never had parents I can say that my life is hard and I don't want your kids to be like me.

 

[aukguy]

they have my wife and her family - also lots of friends and god parents, they are well loved and cared for there

i cant offer much - i struggle to look after myself. but i do love them and if there was another way id take it but there really isnt

 

[s1mplem3]

they have my wife and her family - also lots of friends and god parents, they are well loved and cared for there

i cant offer much - i struggle to look after myself. but i do love them and if there was another way id take it but there really isnt

What if they will end up like you? Losing father is a big deal actually.

 

[Jean4]

I'm not trying to stop you. However, if you want to talk things out, we are here to listen.

 

[Alec]

What if they will end up like you? Losing father is a big deal actually.

Don't! Don't try to blame him for the shit that isn't in his control! Our lives are ours and if our choice hurts someone it's understandable but it's not our fault if others don't know how to deal with such circumstances and don't know how to heal. We have to be selfish sometimes because we can't live for others, it's wrong to live for others too in my opinion, if we live we have to do it for ourselves.
Whatever your choice OP, know that nothing that comes afterwards for anyone and everyone is NOT your fault! I love you forever!!

 

[Jumper Geo]

Im in my hotel and its early morning, cant sleep. I've been struggling with mental health for a number of years, and now time to end it all.

Things came to head in early January, since then been out of the family home due to personal stuff, debts. Miss my wife and children in a way I cant describe - I saw them last night for tea, watching my children and hearing about their normal lives cut right through me as I'm not with them to enjoy it.

Anyway, I have my rope and found a good place in my room to end it all. Going to wait until the rooms been cleaned later then I'll have a 24hr window in which to go through with it.

My time on this site has been short but struck by the kindness and non-judgemental sentiments shown. I know my family will be hurt, even my wife who doesnt want to me with me anymore. My children have a great family network, friends, god-parents etc. I know they will be fine.

Sorry to hear you can't go on, you only joined yesterday Jesus that's a quick exit, hope you find peace even if you decide to stay and talk a bit longer to meet similar minder friends on here.

Best wishes

JG.

 

[s1mplem3]

Don't! Don't try to blame him for the shit that isn't in his control! Our lives are ours and if our choice hurts someone it's understandable but it's not our fault if others don't know how to deal with such circumstances and don't know how to heal. We have to be selfish sometimes because we can't live for others, it's wrong to live for others too in my opinion, if we live we have to do it for ourselves.
Whatever your choice OP, know that nothing that comes afterwards for anyone and everyone is NOT your fault!❤ I love you forever!!

I don't blame anyone for anything, just want to make sure this is what he wants.

 

[aukguy]

not necessarily what i want - i want to go back, i want to fix my marriage, i want to be back home - but none of those are going to happen.

sometimes its about doing whats best for everyone in the long run.

 

[s1mplem3]

not necessarily what i want - i want to go back, i want to fix my marriage, i want to be back home - but none of those are going to happen.

sometimes its about doing whats best for everyone in the long run.

I'm not a prolifer and no one to tell you what to do, but I feel you don't want to CTB. By this conversation I understand there is hope for you to be happy again. Well, you can tell me to fuck off otherwise how can we fix your marriage?

 

[reapandsow918]

Hope you pass peacefully

 

[Soul]

@aukguy, I'm sorry the relationships you want seem out of reach. If you're quite sure things can't be put right, I hope your exit will be peaceful. x

 

[TheLastGoodbye]

Have you talked to a therapist or psychiatrist or anything? It really sounds like you're rushing into things. You said things have gone downhill since January. That hasn't been very long. You say you can't offer much, but you can't offer anything if you're dead. I know you miss being with your wife, but I think you owe it to your kids to at least try to get help so you can be around for them. I guarantee having you around means a lot more to them than you think.

 

[s1mplem3]

Have you talked to a therapist or psychiatrist or anything? It really sounds like you're rushing into things. You said things have gone downhill since January. That hasn't been very long. You say you can't offer much, but you can't offer anything if you're dead. I know you miss being with your wife, but I think you owe it to your kids to at least try to get help so you can be around for them. I guarantee having you around means a lot more to them than you think.

Why everyone offers therapists and psychiatrists, do they have answers for every question?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Totally unsolicited advice, but seeing as your plan was thwarted and you're still alive for the moment...

I would suggest a thought exercise. Please note this is *not* a guilt trip, it's about trying a different perspective.

Imagine you're older and your children are grown, and one of them comes to you and confesses they have every single problem you have, and the same beliefs you do about how ctb is the best choice and how others will be impacted. What would you advise your child do? What in their logic would you agree with, and what would you disagree with? Would you agree ctb is the best solution, or would you suggest other things to do or try?

Sending you much respect and caring for what you're going through.