I just cannot do the social things. When I actually go out I tend to be pretty sociable but I built a habit of avoiding social interactions as much as possible.
Perfect example is today, made me realize how little influence I have on other people's lives. Only solidifies the fact that when I finally CTB noone but my immediate family will even notice.
I know it's quite laughable but I literally find myself in a situation where the only thing that holds me back is that my mom is going to be sad. Reading this forum at least made me appreciate that I have a loving mother. Unfortunately I'm far away and I don't think there is anything she can help me with. Me being sick with incurable shit is not her fault either. Life just sucks.
Pointless post but wanted to vent, fucking birthday only highlights how fucked my life is.
Perfect example is today, made me realize how little influence I have on other people's lives. Only solidifies the fact that when I finally CTB noone but my immediate family will even notice.
I know it's quite laughable but I literally find myself in a situation where the only thing that holds me back is that my mom is going to be sad. Reading this forum at least made me appreciate that I have a loving mother. Unfortunately I'm far away and I don't think there is anything she can help me with. Me being sick with incurable shit is not her fault either. Life just sucks.
Pointless post but wanted to vent, fucking birthday only highlights how fucked my life is.
