Venting Today is bittersweet

[BlueButterfly111]

I was feeling fine the whole day, then I heard someone say they had someone wish them happy Valentine's Day. I broke down crying because I realized he would've tried to make today special for me if he was alive. And now I have no one who would do that. I feel so different to how I felt a year ago when I was with him. I felt happy, loved, safe, cared for. Now I feel worthless, lonely, miserable, like I don't matter to anyone. Today is like an emotional roller coaster because sometimes I feel happy and grateful, and other times just really sad and lonely. He made me feel special, I feel like he saw me for who I truly was, and I feel like I saw him for who he truly was.

He was such a beautiful, sweet person. I have so many wonderful memories with him. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. I remember the first time he made me laugh, I don't remember what he said but it was really funny. And then he said he was so glad he could make me laugh "your parents were making love when they were making you." I remember the way he looked at me. Even just thinking about him makes me feel warm. Definitely felt like a soul connection. I know I'll meet him again. On this day last year, he randomly said "you'll be okay, with me or without me." That's not true, but it's so eerie and spiritual that he said that and passed away few months later. Then me having the dream about him passing away a few months later. It's a soul tie. My sweet wittle baby Henry.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

sending you the biggest hug ever. heard and felt. lowkey teared up, I relate to your words.

much love

 

[steppenwolf]

It's just another feast day in the Christian calendar, this particular one in memory of Saint Valentine. He defied Roman military law by marrying young couples so that the husbands would not be eligible for military conscription, and was executed for it. Whilst in the death cell, he struck up a relationship with his jailer's daughter, and immediately before he was executed left a note for her which he signed: 'Your, Valentine.' Hence the tradition of 'Valentine' cards.

I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like one of the good ones.