glitterypearls
sing me to sleep
- Mar 23, 2023
- 183
I was at a dinner party for my family and my family friends. my family decided to include me in their life again because someone I trusted told them that I plan to CTB soon so my aunt forced me to live with her or they will send me to a mental hospital. I'd rather burn myself alive than to go to a mental hospital so those are people who know what depression and trauma can do to you, who started to tell me "life is beautiful if you open up to people they will support you! there is no shame in asking for help!!" I thought they changed and started to see depressed people as people who deserve empathy but no. I was wrong.
they started to talk about this woman who is 45yo never been in a lasting relationship, live with her family due to her heavy depression and she never had kids. Obviously this woman is so depressed and her actions and the way that she treat people reflect that. instead of having empathy for her because anyone in her position would be depressed.. they started to mock her, call her lazy, say she is the reason that she is in this situation and it's no one fault but hers. saying how she should go "for more walks" because it's "so disgusting that she let herself go of course no man would want her" acting like depression doesn't cause you to "let yourself go"
It took everything in me not to get mad at them for that and tell them "depression can cause you to kill yourself not just gain weight or have poor hygiene" I'm so mad. those people try to prevent us from CTBing but refuse to help us, or see our POV or be there for us. instead they push us to the side, mock us, use us as an example of "what not to be" call us lazy, call us all sort of ugly names but when we finally reach the bottom and realize we can't live any longer then they act like they care about you just to prevent you from CTBing. they don't fucking care about us. all they want is to force us to suffer more by living so they can feel good about themselves for "saving someone life" it helps them sleep better at night to know that they "tried" when you eventually successfully CTB. I'm so angry at that, It makes me cry, they treat us like monsters. It's like a dying dog worth more empathy than us actual humans who deserve empathy and understanding.
I seen them talk better and nicely about dying animals but not about an actual human who is clearly suffering.
they started to talk about this woman who is 45yo never been in a lasting relationship, live with her family due to her heavy depression and she never had kids. Obviously this woman is so depressed and her actions and the way that she treat people reflect that. instead of having empathy for her because anyone in her position would be depressed.. they started to mock her, call her lazy, say she is the reason that she is in this situation and it's no one fault but hers. saying how she should go "for more walks" because it's "so disgusting that she let herself go of course no man would want her" acting like depression doesn't cause you to "let yourself go"
It took everything in me not to get mad at them for that and tell them "depression can cause you to kill yourself not just gain weight or have poor hygiene" I'm so mad. those people try to prevent us from CTBing but refuse to help us, or see our POV or be there for us. instead they push us to the side, mock us, use us as an example of "what not to be" call us lazy, call us all sort of ugly names but when we finally reach the bottom and realize we can't live any longer then they act like they care about you just to prevent you from CTBing. they don't fucking care about us. all they want is to force us to suffer more by living so they can feel good about themselves for "saving someone life" it helps them sleep better at night to know that they "tried" when you eventually successfully CTB. I'm so angry at that, It makes me cry, they treat us like monsters. It's like a dying dog worth more empathy than us actual humans who deserve empathy and understanding.
I seen them talk better and nicely about dying animals but not about an actual human who is clearly suffering.