To those of you who are afraid of death

[MG_39]

I often see posts from people who are afraid of death, i'm not, but I can understand those who are.

But there is one thing I can't understand. It seems like there are few people who are afraid of failing with ctb.

I might have to explain why i'm not afraid of death. Because I can't avoid it, even if I had my health and could keep living I will soon die anyway just like everyone else (With soon I mean the time we live on earth is short.) This doesn't mean that I don't feel sad I might have no other choice than ending it, because I would love to be able to have my health so I could do things I enjoy doing and enjoy the short time we have here on earth. But it's no big deal for me, because i'm agnostic and leaning towards nothingness when we die, and the thought of nothingness doesn't scare me. But I also know that parents and siblings will suffer a lot if I ctb. It's the only reason i'm still here, I would prefer to suffer for the rest of my life to avoid making them suffer, but I don't think I will be able to go on much longer.

I would like to leave on a peaceful way (just like most people would) But the methods people see as peaceful (except N which I can't source where I live because of customs) is methods I don't see as peaceful, for example Exit bag with inert gas or SN, when I take the step and actually do it, I will not feel 100% certain it will be over.

Do a method like full suspension scare me? (which would be 100% at least for me since I would make sure no one would find me, and the rope and knot will not fail for me) No possible pain for like a minute doesn't scare me (pain that long is very unlikely though if done correctly) but the pain doesn't scare me, but the act of ending my life that way scares me, I can't explain why. It's like our brains are programmed like that to protect our bodies and keep us alive.

Sorry for ranting, but please share your thoughts.

 

[Snake of Eden]

What makes you think that N from D will not go through your customs? I havent seen anyone who had complains as such so far and people from all around the world has gotten theirs just fine. I would say your reservations are unfounded

p.s. death is just plainly scary. I dont think there is anybody who never feared death in their lives. It is heroic to beat the fear of death on all accounts

 

[MG_39]

What makes you think that N from D will not go through your customs? I havent seen anyone who had complains as such so far and people from all around the world has gotten theirs just fine. I would say your reservations are unfounded

p.s. death is just plainly scary. I dont think there is anybody who never feared death in their lives. It is heroic to beat the fear of death on all accounts

I might give it a try to order, because there will be no consequences here as long as you deny that you made the order.

I have never been scared of death, I don't know why though. But being stuck here on earth because of a failure, maybe for decades and no being able to end it scares me a lot.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I might give it a try to order, because there will be no consequences here as long as you deny that you made the order.

I have never been scared of death, I don't know why though. But being stuck here on earth because of a failure, maybe for decades and no being able to end it scares me a lot.

The order will go in just fine. I know it first hand.

i too fear living with my failures for a lifetime. In many ways it scares me much more than death. I dont know if you lack fear of death or not but personally I didnt think i had any issues with being scared of death until i put alot of effort and time to conceptualize what my death will really mean. How my body will look like, my burial, affecting my loved ones etc. Let me tell you, it is scary

 

[MG_39]

The order will go in just fine. I know it first hand.

i too fear living with my failures for a lifetime. In many ways it scares me much more than death. I dont know if you lack fear of death or not but personally I didnt think i had any issues with being scared of death until i put alot of effort and time to conceptualize what my death will really mean. How my body will look like, my burial, affecting my loved ones etc. Let me tell you, it is scary

Not so sure if it will here though. Customs are really hard here, but worth a try.

How it will affecting my loved ones is very painful. But i'm talking about the fact that I will die and cease to exist. I'm scared of keep living though..

 

[Amumu]

The reason why most people choose SN over full suspension is that full suspension is much harder to put in place (You have to find the right place, the right rope, the right knot, etc.) while with SN (or some drugs) you just swallow it and it's over after some time.

But since some people survive jumping after falling incredible heights (over 100 meters above solid ground) I think full suspension should be on my list of possible methods with SN, ami and barbiturates.

Now for failing with ctb ofc it's scary since nobody wants to end up in a hospital or a ward, damaged and even more depressed.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

To be honest I couldn't disagree more with the original post. I have known people who have failed and have a lifelong disability as a result. This puts them in an even worse situation, whereby not only are they physically hampered and in pain for the rest of their lives, but their surroundings are aware of their attempt meaning they are rarely left unsupervised for any length of time. And heaven forbid you suffer serious neurological consequences as a result of attempting. That's a fate worse than death I'd imagine.

 

[MG_39]

To be honest I couldn't disagree more with the original post. I have known people who have failed and have a lifelong disability as a result. This puts them in an even worse situation, whereby not only are they physically hampered and in pain for the rest of their lives, but their surroundings are aware of their attempt meaning they are rarely left unsupervised for any length of time. And heaven forbid you suffer serious neurological consequences as a result of attempting. That's a fate worse than death I'd imagine.

I don't know if I expressed myself bad, or if you misunderstood me. I'm really scared of failure and ending up in an even worse situation where I don't have the choice to end it. What I was trying to say is that death doesn't scare me.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I don't know if I expressed myself bad, or if you misunderstood me. I'm really scared of failure and ending up in an even worse situation where I don't have the choice to end it. What I was trying to say is that death doesn't scare me.

Oh shit, yeah, I did totally mis-read it. I thought you were saying "I don't understand why people are afraid of failing with ctb." Sorry, I'm a dumbass.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I am terrified of failing an attempt, especially as in some cases, people are left with permanent damage. That is what holds me back as well as the SI. Death actually comforts me a lot as I believe there is nothing after this. Non existence is the complete absence of suffering and it is the end of me. I look forward to death. Life is what scares me instead. In this life there is no limit as to how bad things can get.

 

[randomidiot]

Maybe I'm being silly but the thought of death has always terrified me. It's the main reason I keep putting off CTB. I guess if I knew I'd experience anything at some point after I die, it would be like a long nap which would feel somehow familiar to me. I keep picturing how I'll never wake up again, not in a year, 1000 years, a billion years... forever and it makes me panic. I think it's hard for me to wrap my head around the concept of forever. And it's true that I won't suffer anymore but I will also never be able to appreciate the lack of suffering. I hope any of this makes sense...
The way I see it, I don't want to die but I don't want to live even more.

 

[randomidiot]

i didn't exist for 13.8 billion years and that was awesome pretty easy, no pain, no problems, no worries. , no suffering , no hunger, no diseases. who would want to live for another 13.8 billion years? the problems started when i was born into this extremely fragile hungry needy weak animal body. so death which is non-existence is better than life imo. sometimes when i go to sleep hours pass by but it seems like seconds sometimes . so you go away again during deep dreamless sleep or anesthesia.

i confronted a normie or pro-lifer not sure which one it was. i asked it so you want to live, what if you could live for a million more years, a billion a trillion just like you are you wouldn't age anymore just doing the same boring grind for a billion years, but risking pain and suffering? . just think of that who wouldn't get tired of this crap life and world after a million years, after a billion years, after a 1000 years?

death = non-existence is what i want and i don't fear Death

I agree with that for the most part. I didn't exist before I came to this world and I wish I was never born. It woulda made everything so much easier. But now that I already exist thinking about not existing again is different for me. Like you said you can go to sleep for hours and not even be aware that time has passed. You're only aware of the time before you sleep and after you wake up as if it were instant - there's this sense of continuation. But when you die there's no more continuation ever. It just feels so foreign to me. I'm scared of the unknown I suppose.
And yeah I wouldn't want to live this shitty life for a billion years. That would probably get tiresome for anyone. But if I got to choose I might like to live for short periods of time and have very long naps, like hundreds or thousands of years, in between them. I'd get to experience new things every time and to me that time would pass instantly. That's just one idea but I don't think I'd choose to cease to exist forever.

 

[Hurt]

I'm not afraid of something that is certain.

 

[MG_39]

Maybe I'm being silly but the thought of death has always terrified me. It's the main reason I keep putting off CTB. I guess if I knew I'd experience anything at some point after I die, it would be like a long nap which would feel somehow familiar to me. I keep picturing how I'll never wake up again, not in a year, 1000 years, a billion years... forever and it makes me panic. I think it's hard for me to wrap my head around the concept of forever. And it's true that I won't suffer anymore but I will also never be able to appreciate the lack of suffering. I hope any of this makes sense...
The way I see it, I don't want to die but I don't want to live even more.

No you are not silly at all, I think most people are afraid of death. I think the reason i'm not afraid of death is because of what I mentioned, no matter what would have happened in my life I will soon die anyway (life is short) so I can't avoid it. This doesn't mean that I don't feel said about the thought of dying, not being able to enjoy things I used to enjoy. But now it have been years without enjoying anything and just horrible suffering.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

But it's no big deal for me, because i'm agnostic and leaning towards nothingness when we die, and the thought of nothingness doesn't scare me.

I'm leaning toward some spooky stuff at the moment, some kind of afterlife (Buddhism, something related to simulation theory, things like that). Was a hardline atheist until very recently, think getting closer to ctb is scaring my soul into making me acquire intel. Haven't let go of atheism completely, a part of me mocks of all my guesses that go beyond physicalism. All I can do is guess at this point, since I haven't put much work into spiritual stuff and am not naturally inclined.