To suicide or not to suicide. That is the question

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Its up to me to make a change. My family is aware of how horribly my brother is to me and agree that he needs help. I told my aunt and grandma that a family meeting is needed and they both agree. My dad does too, now its a matter of getting everyone together to have this talk. only thing is the thought of doing that stresses me and triggers my suicidality. if I dont say somethign then nothing will change till either my dad or brother kill each other, or maybe I should kill myself to get rid of this mess.

I just wish this decision didn't fall on me. I hate myself

 

[Infinite Conscious]

Not to suicide.
How old are you? 16 and a half? 18?
It's too early.
Your problems are temporary.
Even if that "99" in you nick means that you're 21, it's still too early.
Later in life, if it does come to it, you will know... and there won't be an "if" or "do I".

 

[Stick]

Maybe you can plan out what you plan to say in the meeting beforehand? We can help you with that and give you advice maybe. That way, you can hopefully minimize the triggers that occur in your conversation.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Not to suicide.
How old are you? 16 and a half? 18?
It's too early.
Your problems are temporary.
Even if that "99" in you nick means that you're 21, it's still too early.
Later in life, if it does come to it, you will know... and there won't be an "if" or "do I".

Nah im 22 lol

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm proud of your strength OP. Its up to you which path you choose, but you seem to have made a lot of progress with dealing with your brother. It's hard getting out of an abusive situation, but you're making your voice heard by those around you.

 

[WornOutLife]

Unfortunately, in order to get true change, decisions must fall on us. However, you're doing a nice job and looking at some stuff you commented on other threads hell yeah, your brother needs help!
I wish you the best and if in the end you CTB, it'll still be YOUR decision. We're free!

 

[fox21132113]

I think that's pretty cool to handle family issues via meeting. Plan out some things to say. What makes your brother abusive? Would your brother be interested in (any type of service he needs)? What would you like to see happen, which change? How will this make you better and set you up for success?

 

[pickajack]

@Stick and @fox21132113 great advice to make a plan
@DeathIsTheWayOut99 you are already part way there just by anticipating the emotional effect the confrontation will trigger.
Good job, next step is to plan as best you can. Plan a "cool-down" activity for after too. You can't control how others behave, but you can look forward to a comforting activity when it's over.
Proud of you for facing the situation. Sounds like a tough one.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

Nah im 22 lol

Nah, you're 21 and two thirds... lol.
If you were born in '98, why would you put "99" in your nick, it doesn't make sense.