To all non drug addicts, and young people in here....don't do drugs... And please try ketemine infusions before you ctb

[Ducksauce6]

That's pretty much it.... If it's regular depression and there's hope (I have no hope... See I know I'm fucked methadone, duluidid IV heroin and fentanyl addict and daily 40mg valium.... ) I KNOW I have to kill myself.... My body is a husk w rotten teeth.... ....



I really think you all should try ketemine infusions or something.... It kept me alive for 4-5 years moderately happy ...and that was dealing with a drug addiction on top....


I think it has serious potential for help ..... What have you got to lose??? Nothing ... If it didn't work....ohh well....you can still CTB.... But try it folks...it's like 400$ a session....your insurance will most likely cover it now , but if not... It's still worth it....800-1600$ even 2k$ is worth your life....forsure........just try it... I see a lot of young people in here....and that guinuenly hurts my heart.... I'm almost ,30 but I have been low when I was 17-19...20..... But I could always bounce back ....... Not anymore... Never again .... But you young people..... Please stlesst try it first.... It worked for me for a long time and I'm sure would still work if I wasn't on so much garbage benzos and methadone.


I love you all

 

[Orbitc]

At least you find some pleasure in drugs. I tried tramadol and vicadin when I broke my leg - I cant sleep - I didn't like it - I didn't understand what pleasant people find in opiates. I think I tried fentanyl - in Moscow they call it "FEN" - I had a very vivid feeling that I was drunk and falling into white warm clouds - it was a strange feeling. I didn't become a drug addict))) I envy you - I don't get any pleasure at all. Today I went to a restaurant and bought a lot of good fatty barbecue meat for home - but I lost the ability to even enjoy food due to depression. I thought about it something like this - meat is a healthy and practical food - I won't get fat from it - I need to eat meat. Damn, before I could enjoy delicious food - now I eat something so as not to lose my muscle mass.

 

[FuneralCry]

I thought this was supposed to be a pro-choice forum respecting the decision to die rather than pushing the view that people need "help". Those who want "help" are in the recovery section of the site.

And anyway in my case wanting to die is all that feels rational, it's not some kind of illness feeling this way, for me the true problem will always lie in existence itself, I don't get why you assume that everyone even wants to exist in the first place.
I will always prefer the sound of eternal nothingness than suffering in this futile existence there was never a need for, all that appeals to me is a permanent release from all suffering.

 

[MBG]

I thought this was supposed to be a pro-choice forum respecting the decision to die rather than pushing the view that people need "help". Those who want "help" are in the recovery section of the site.

And anyway in my case wanting to die is all that feels rational, it's not some kind of illness feeling this way, for me the true problem will always lie in existence itself, I don't get why you assume that everyone even wants to exist in the first place.
I will always prefer the sound of eternal nothingness than suffering in this futile existence there was never a need for, all that appeals to me is a permanent release from all suffering.

About a year ago I read a news article that magic mushrooms (or psilocybin, the psychoactive ingredient), has been shown effective in breaking additions to alcohol, tobacco (nicotine), and cocaine. IIRC just one or two "trips" a few weeks apart was effective. Of course, do your online research first.

To be safer, start low and go slow over weeks before taking a full dose to be safe. DO NOT TRY psychedelics if you or closely related family members have history of psychosis, mania, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Again, DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

 

[Ducksauce6]

Zero pleasure....ho ho....you ENvY me???? Omg drugs bring nothing but unbridled suffering.... God I wish I had a baby 14-15 year old me back ... And could eat a handful of Percocet and a few Ativan and actually feel something .... I get nothing from drugs .... I take them not to be ill....vomit...or shit on myself .... That's my biggest advice to anyone on here.....that's young ....stay the fuck away from drugs.... That shit ain't cool ... At all ... At all ... I thought I was cool at 16-17 and would BRAG about doing heroin (wtf is wrong w me) to all the potheads.... Id tell em ...."high".....you all don't know the fucking meaning of BLASTED.... But that all fades away in about 2 months w daily use.... So




How do you think I feel after 15 or so years of opiate use and 12 years of daily benzos use?.... I want to fucking DĪ3!!! I never sleep... I go to a methadone clinic and stand in line w the worst of society at 5-6am everyday and rely on that or I get extremely ill.... I won't lie... Doing drugs...the first time I took a Percocet was my wisdom teeth at 12 .... 30mg oxycodone (had never taken anything)..... Mentally addicted instantly ... With about two doses .... The doctor wrote me Roxy 30s for some reason I was a 150lb kid who had never even had a Tylenol #3....


Drugs. Will take. It all away

It is...not forcing anything on anyone...and I'm new...so maybe posted in the wrong place ... But I agree with you... It buys time... But there is no cure all for offing yourself.... Please forgive me l. Maybe I didn't post this in the right place .. it comes from a good place in my heart... I want younger people to just ....entertain the thought that it might help and try if you aren't drug addled ... It could change your whole perspective.... But there are those (myself included... In too deep....who 100 percent must CTB) I just see a lot of teenagers posting etc. Breaks my heart tbh



As an older gay acrophobic wreak... I love each and everyone here...and everyone who has stepped into the light

 

[Orbitc]

If you don't like what you're doing, just stop doing it. When I broke my leg, I took opiates for almost a month - most people become addicted much earlier - I know what I'm talking about. Just stop doing this and be patient - someday your body will cleanse itself. I just felt pain in my muscles, as if I had been exercising too much in the gym. If it doesn't make you happy then stop doing it. Artificial teeth can be inserted at the dentist. Or admit that the problem is not the drugs, but your depression - don't blame the drugs.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

If you don't like what you're doing, just stop doing it. When I broke my leg, I took opiates for almost a month - most people become addicted much earlier - I know what I'm talking about. Just stop doing this and be patient - someday your body will cleanse itself. I just felt pain in my muscles, as if I had been exercising too much in the gym. If it doesn't make you happy then stop doing it. Artificial teeth can be inserted at the dentist. Or admit that the problem is not the drugs, but your depression - don't blame the drugs.

Just stop doing it? Lol. You barely touched opiates. Muscle soreness like when you go to the gym? Try feeling your bones are on fire, your bowels are explosive, your stomach won't stop turning and turning, having a fever so bad you hallucinate, all the while you are sweating so much it soaks through the blankets you're wearing because you are so cold. It is actually torturous and you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

 

[movinout17]

That's pretty much it.... If it's regular depression and there's hope (I have no hope... See I know I'm fucked methadone, duluidid IV heroin and fentanyl addict and daily 40mg valium.... ) I KNOW I have to kill myself.... My body is a husk w rotten teeth.... ....



I really think you all should try ketemine infusions or something.... It kept me alive for 4-5 years moderately happy ...and that was dealing with a drug addiction on top....


I think it has serious potential for help ..... What have you got to lose??? Nothing ... If it didn't work....ohh well....you can still CTB.... But try it folks...it's like 400$ a session....your insurance will most likely cover it now , but if not... It's still worth it....800-1600$ even 2k$ is worth your life....forsure........just try it... I see a lot of young people in here....and that guinuenly hurts my heart.... I'm almost ,30 but I have been low when I was 17-19...20..... But I could always bounce back ....... Not anymore... Never again .... But you young people..... Please stlesst try it first.... It worked for me for a long time and I'm sure would still work if I wasn't on so much garbage benzos and methadone.


I love you all

I second this. I'm on spravato, a ketamine derived medication, and it does something for depression and suicidal thoughts. It's evidenced to treat treatment resistant depression, and it's covered by insurance most of the time.

It's not a magic cure for our problems, but I have no doubt that everyone ought to try treatment that can help. Some people out there report that it works almost like a miracle.

 

[emptyhome98]

I mean, I just smoke pot and I'm doing pretty alright. Probably better than doing ketamine imo

 

[movinout17]

That's pretty much it.... If it's regular depression and there's hope (I have no hope... See I know I'm fucked methadone, duluidid IV heroin and fentanyl addict and daily 40mg valium.... ) I KNOW I have to kill myself.... My body is a husk w rotten teeth.... ....



I really think you all should try ketemine infusions or something.... It kept me alive for 4-5 years moderately happy ...and that was dealing with a drug addiction on top....


I think it has serious potential for help ..... What have you got to lose??? Nothing ... If it didn't work....ohh well....you can still CTB.... But try it folks...it's like 400$ a session....your insurance will most likely cover it now , but if not... It's still worth it....800-1600$ even 2k$ is worth your life....forsure........just try it... I see a lot of young people in here....and that guinuenly hurts my heart.... I'm almost ,30 but I have been low when I was 17-19...20..... But I could always bounce back ....... Not anymore... Never again .... But you young people..... Please stlesst try it first.... It worked for me for a long time and I'm sure would still work if I wasn't on so much garbage benzos and methadone.


I love you all

Im extremely sorry that you're suffering from drug addiction OP, no one deserves these burdens. I hear that you care about the people in this community, you don't deserve some of these rude comments

 

[Orbitc]

Im extremely sorry that you're suffering from drug addiction OP, no one deserves these burdens. I hear that you care about the people in this community, you don't deserve some of these rude comments

Why are you interpreting it all this way? I just honestly don't understand. My message is not some kind of provocation or rudeness. I'm not trying to insult or offend anyone here. You write how bad you feel but continue to do it day after day. When you can suffer from withdrawal symptoms for a month and be completely clean. I don't know, maybe I'm a very healthy person despite the autoimmune disease - I don't even have a hangover if I drink a lot of whiskey, maybe it's subjective - pain with an opiates hangover - I didn't feel anything terrible after a month on tramadol and Vicodin

 

[Ducksauce6]

If you don't like what you're doing, just stop doing it. When I broke my leg, I took opiates for almost a month - most people become addicted much earlier - I know what I'm talking about. Just stop doing this and be patient - someday your body will cleanse itself. I just felt pain in my muscles, as if I had been exercising too much in the gym. If it doesn't make you happy then stop doing it. Artificial teeth can be inserted at the dentist. Or admit that the problem is not the drugs, but your depression - don't blame the drugs.

The disconnect here is ....just.... wow

Just stop doing it? Lol. You barely touched opiates. Muscle soreness like when you go to the gym? Try feeling your bones are on fire, your bowels are explosive, your stomach won't stop turning and turning, having a fever so bad you hallucinate, all the while you are sweating so much it soaks through the blankets you're wearing because you are so cold. It is actually torturous and you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Thank you

Just stop doing it? Lol. You barely touched opiates. Muscle soreness like when you go to the gym? Try feeling your bones are on fire, your bowels are explosive, your stomach won't stop turning and turning, having a fever so bad you hallucinate, all the while you are sweating so much it soaks through the blankets you're wearing because you are so cold. It is actually torturous and you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Thank you

Just stop doing it? Lol. You barely touched opiates. Muscle soreness like when you go to the gym? Try feeling your bones are on fire, your bowels are explosive, your stomach won't stop turning and turning, having a fever so bad you hallucinate, all the while you are sweating so much it soaks through the blankets you're wearing because you are so cold. It is actually torturous and you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Thank you

Im extremely sorry that you're suffering from drug addiction OP, no one deserves these burdens. I hear that you care about the people in this community, you don't deserve some of these rude comments

thank you

Why are you interpreting it all this way? I just honestly don't understand. My message is not some kind of provocation or rudeness. I'm not trying to insult or offend anyone here. You write how bad you feel but continue to do it day after day. When you can suffer from withdrawal symptoms for a month and be completely clean. I don't know, maybe I'm a very healthy person despite the autoimmune disease - I don't even have a hangover if I drink a lot of whiskey, maybe it's subjective - pain with an opiates hangover - I didn't feel anything terrible after a month on tramadol and Vicodin

I've have medical problems and chrons disease and yah .... Alot of things I can't help

 

[BlazingBob]

I did ketamine infusions and they didn't help. It didn't help my depression, anxiety or chronic pain at all. It cost me a fortune because it wasn't covered by insurance. I also did TMS which didn't help either. Neither did psilocybin. Neither did thousands of hours of therapy over the course of 35 years. Now I'm almost broke and homeless and more miserable than ever with multiple debilitating chronic illnesses. I don't mean to discourage anyone but there sometimes are truly hopeless cases and unfortunately I'm one of them.

To the OP, have you considered or been offered buprenorphine? I take it for chronic pain, severe RLS, and Parkinson's. It's a schedule 3 and I think for MAT you can take it at home and don't have to stand in line like that, so I've heard.

 

[Ducksauce6]

Was on it for year...but it rotted.my teeth and just gave me anxiety and tachacherdia.... Took for a few years then it stopped holding me.... And I was like.... You know what.... If I'm gunna have all the negative glares etc. Everytime I mention it or go to the doctor or to manage anything medical.... And I'm gunna be on opiates for life.... I might as well get some analgesia out of it....if I'm going to be treated like shit regardless.... But I don't mind the little 30 minute round trip at 5am .... Anything to stop me from sweating and dihheriahh, but it was all a mistake .... At first it was so strong... And then years ago by and your stuck... Just bearly hanging on... Pray for death

 

[Orbitc]

Sorry, I didn't know that you were taking these medications for medical reasons. I thought you started this as fun and then got into it deeply. I saw this as a child - a lot of my neighbors were drug addicts and they started injecting heroin as entertainment, but then they could no longer give it up.

 

[TiredTurtle]

I can't speak for ketamine infusions but I think if possible everyone should try mushrooms before they make any choices about death.

 

[TapeMachine]

Why are you interpreting it all this way? I just honestly don't understand. My message is not some kind of provocation or rudeness. I'm not trying to insult or offend anyone here. You write how bad you feel but continue to do it day after day. When you can suffer from withdrawal symptoms for a month and be completely clean. I don't know, maybe I'm a very healthy person despite the autoimmune disease - I don't even have a hangover if I drink a lot of whiskey, maybe it's subjective - pain with an opiates hangover - I didn't feel anything terrible after a month on tramadol and Vicodin

Respectfully, you clearly have no idea how addiction works. If it were as easy as "just stop doing it; you'll be right as rain in about a month", then everyone would just....*stop*, right?

I'm not trying to be rude or combative. I just don't think your advice is very helpful- but it is definitely condescending. Please try to understand that there is much more than meets the eye with addiction. It's an exceedingly miserable hell.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I tried ketamine infusions. Pleasant in the moment but didn't do anything for my ideation. I was hospitalized the day after I finished the induction phase.

 

[lachrymost]

Ketamine and psilocybin didn't work for me. Adding my name to that list. If only there could be a money-back guarantee.

 

[Freyja13]

That's pretty much it.... If it's regular depression and there's hope (I have no hope... See I know I'm fucked methadone, duluidid IV heroin and fentanyl addict and daily 40mg valium.... ) I KNOW I have to kill myself.... My body is a husk w rotten teeth.... ....



I really think you all should try ketemine infusions or something.... It kept me alive for 4-5 years moderately happy ...and that was dealing with a drug addiction on top....


I think it has serious potential for help ..... What have you got to lose??? Nothing ... If it didn't work....ohh well....you can still CTB.... But try it folks...it's like 400$ a session....your insurance will most likely cover it now , but if not... It's still worth it....800-1600$ even 2k$ is worth your life....forsure........just try it... I see a lot of young people in here....and that guinuenly hurts my heart.... I'm almost ,30 but I have been low when I was 17-19...20..... But I could always bounce back ....... Not anymore... Never again .... But you young people..... Please stlesst try it first.... It worked for me for a long time and I'm sure would still work if I wasn't on so much garbage benzos and methadone.


I love you all

My therapist actually recommended I try to get a prescription for N-Ketamine. One shot like every two months or something like that. Who knows. Maybe it'd work a whole lot better than my anti-depressants

 

[BLEH:3]

I found myself in drugs too, first time doing ketamine was like heaven for me and that quickly escalated now im high on a daily basis on what i can get my hands on, meth, coke, valium, ketamine, 2cb and what not. Drugs have taken away more then have given me but atleast i have something to fall back on, like a good friend.

 

[Outsidelessness]

400$ a session

lol. lmao even

The medical industry is absolutely scamming you if they're doing that. What I would've done is a lower-end recreational dosage of R-Isomer Ketamine from a DNM. Ordering a gram would only cost $40 max and would suffice for at least half a year or longer. Ketamine is not addictive if you responsibly only do lower dosages once every month at most; very important to also take into consideration that doing too it much will have the opposite effect and lose therapeutic benefits.

If you're concerned about the medical team bringing you a "proper environment" in comparison to yourself, you're capable of doing that too. You can still speak with people online, set up your room to be more comfortable, listen to music, etc. All that is needed is a tiny hit that's piled onto 1/2 of a penny and you'll have a good enough dosage.

S-Isomer Ketamine is not what I suggest but it's a possible choice if you don't have any familial risk for psychotic disorders. R-Isomer still poses a risk but it's to a lower extent because it's more of a strictly anesthetic sort of experience, which still provides the same benefits. Either or, any ketamine you buy will have some sort of mix between the two because it's very difficult to filter them apart. If one is advertised as a specific isomer, what it really means that it's predominant.

Ketamine

Ketamine (also known as Ket, K, Special K, vitamin K,[5] Kitty, and others) is a classical dissociative substance of the arylcyclohexylamine class. It is perhaps the best-known and archetypal member of the dissociatives, a diverse group which includes PCP, methoxetamine, DXM, and nitrous oxide...

psychonautwiki.org

Reader, please buy fentanyl testing kits from your local walmart, they're like $10. Don't order the kits off amazon (bad opsec).

 

[Ducksauce6]

Sorry, I didn't know that you were taking these medications for medical reasons. I thought you started this as fun and then got into it deeply. I saw this as a child - a lot of my neighbors were drug addicts and they started injecting heroin as entertainment, but then they could no longer give it up.

I did mess with drugs younger but, quit.... It was the surgeries and some trauma of witnessing a shooting and a suicide ....plus I got robbed on the side of the interstate at gunpoint in KANSAS in the middle of the snow going on vacation..... It was the cops brother they were in on it.... While big long story.... But yah I carry I gun on me everyday I stick it in my mouth everyday... Or every other day and I literally. Can't get past the mental barrier of botching it.... My worst fear... I've have reoccurring nightmares of this exact situation....except I can't even speak in. A hospital bed and am in tremendous pain ....and just watch all my family cry until I wake... Covered in sweat



I want this shit to be over... I've taken the drug game to it's absolute limit and am paying the consequences that are worae than death .. id love to OD... But I can't unless I can get propofol and go back into veterinary work and stock up on shit ..... I can't believe I let those chems go bad and expire .....so hard to acquire

 

[pepe_felipe]

Just stop doing it? Lol. You barely touched opiates. Muscle soreness like when you go to the gym? Try feeling your bones are on fire, your bowels are explosive, your stomach won't stop turning and turning, having a fever so bad you hallucinate, all the while you are sweating so much it soaks through the blankets you're wearing because you are so cold. It is actually torturous and you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Yeah I apologize for this late reply, however there is a reason for the nomenclature of drug addicts. They use drugs that are addictive. Addictive. As in, it brings back a person to use it more due to its chemical compound. You can always tell a drug addict to just stop using drugs, just the same as telling a gambler to stop gambling, and a porn addict to stop masturbating. Just because we aren't as "mentally strong" as yourself does not make the problems we face any less troublesome, or easier to overcome. I do hope you have realized this and that I am wasting time typing up this response. This topic hits close to home, I hope you do not take this personally.

 

[alone10]

Why do I always see something like this in the news
(a 27-year-old female cocaine addict died)? Why does the news show addicts so poorly?

I thought this was supposed to be a pro-choice forum respecting the decision to die rather than pushing the view that people need "help". Those who want "help" are in the recovery section of the site.

And anyway in my case wanting to die is all that feels rational, it's not some kind of illness feeling this way, for me the true problem will always lie in existence itself, I don't get why you assume that everyone even wants to exist in the first place.
I will always prefer the sound of eternal nothingness than suffering in this futile existence there was never a need for, all that appeals to me is a permanent release from all suffering.

A fair number of people believe that depression and suicide are linked to drugs + There are some topics about drugs here. The moderators use this topic as a cover for a kind of balance, in other words, to send information to the effect that (we are not a site for drugs or suicide, and depression is not only linked to drugs), as I said, to achieve balance and beautify the image. The general public of the site, and this is what I see as the intelligence of the moderators

 

[divinemistress36]

Ketamine infusions didn't help me unfortunately it was cool leaving my body for a bit though

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, I find this thread kind of curious. Don't do drugs... except this one! Isn't Ketamine addictive too?

Personally- I've got nothing against what people choose to do. I wouldn't like to get mixed up with any sort of drug personally. I struggle enough with food which to me feels like the cruellest addiction seeing as we can't cut food out our lives. But yeah- if it helps- that's great.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Yeah maybe if you are neuro typical.
I have aspergers BPD and trauma. Life was always hard

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I thought this was supposed to be a pro-choice forum respecting the decision to die rather than pushing the view that people need "help". Those who want "help" are in the recovery section of the site.

And anyway in my case wanting to die is all that feels rational, it's not some kind of illness feeling this way, for me the true problem will always lie in existence itself, I don't get why you assume that everyone even wants to exist in the first place.
I will always prefer the sound of eternal nothingness than suffering in this futile existence there was never a need for, all that appeals to me is a permanent release from all suffering.

Pro-choice forum but damn if anyone dare post something that does not explicitly tell them that their existence is worthless despite all the suffering that brought them to this place in the first place. What part of pro-choice did you mistake for pro-suicide again? You're free to vent on this forum all you want, but that doesn't mean you get to shit on other people if they don't view the world through the same lens as you. This isn't an echo chamber, is it now?

 

[LetMeBeSad]

Yeah I apologize for this late reply, however there is a reason for the nomenclature of drug addicts. They use drugs that are addictive. Addictive. As in, it brings back a person to use it more due to its chemical compound. You can always tell a drug addict to just stop using drugs, just the same as telling a gambler to stop gambling, and a porn addict to stop masturbating. Just because we aren't as "mentally strong" as yourself does not make the problems we face any less troublesome, or easier to overcome. I do hope you have realized this and that I am wasting time typing up this response. This topic hits close to home, I hope you do not take this personally.

I didn't say you can't tell them to stop. I was more addressing the gym comparison. And I didn't say I was "mentally stronger" than anyone. I have been an addict and an addict in recovery. So it hits at a personal level for me as well. Not sure what you're trying to address here with me but, maybe read what you're responding to? Because nowhere did I claim what you are trying to refute. No offense. Don't take it personally.