You have right to be tired because recovery is usually a long term process and sometimes it may be painful, it's not like straight line, we fall down and get up to go forward. It's absolutely normal that you feel like you have enough and f**k that s**t. It's okay. It's okay if you feel suicidal too. We feel what we feel. We only can choice and control our actions. Don't blame yoursel. This is hard work, only you know how hard it could be. In the end you are still here and I'm proud of you ❤