tired

[itsokayitokay]

im so tired, i want to ctb so bad, why is it so hard to be happier again? I feel so useless. no matter what i do i feel useless. when im smiling, when im laughing, when im happy, it doesnt matter, i will always be helpless, useless, and disgusting all the way to the day i finally die. i wish i hugged my little brothers one last time. i wish i kissed them, told them how much i loved them. im so selfish

 

[Coconut blue]

im sorry about the pain you're going thru. i feel the same way a lot of the time. ig i just hate myself too much to be able to live properly but at the same time am too much of a coward to bring all the shit to an end. i dont rlly like the "dont say that about yourself" "you're existence is precious/valuable" approach ppl take when they hear us say these kinds of things but i do share your suffering and i hope we could not be in so much pain even if we arent able to ctb

 

[Bruce]

Can you not still hug them?

and

It's ok to be useless! The idea that being useful is good and being useless is bad is just something that the system puts into your head so you work and give your life to them. You don't have to listen to that! Every time you look at a situation STOP! and look from a different side! Ask questions! Always ask questions no matter how stupid they might be.

It's ok to be useless! I am!