Hi guys,
I'm new to the site, just joined. I love how freely people can speak without the judgement❤ Just wanted to express some feelings towards my life right now as I can't tell anyone else...
In short I've been physically abused, sexually abused/assaulted, I suffer from depression, anxiety/social anxiety, PTSD and trauma. I've Never truly experienced any love until a few years ago in my adult life through a relationship, even then the situation wasn't the greatest after a while due to my issues and lack of understanding. Yesterday, I was told by the love of my life (we're not currently together but had messed around a few times recently- as we still have feelings for each other) that-in short- he doesn't see us getting back together because we want different things, mainly he wants a family & i don't. This is something he was aware of before we got together but (I later found out) he thought he could change my mind. He was 'the one' for me. The thought of him creating a family with someone else makes me sick, not in a disgusted way but in a way where i wouldn't be able to stand by, watch & be okay. That would tear me apart day by day, post by post. You might think 'just remove yourself from his life' it's just not that simple. Then theres this...
I literally feel like i was born to suffer in this awful world... like my whole existence has just been completely full of pain!! Betrayal, heartache, people coming in and out of my life, abuse, lies... those literally are the only things that are constant in my life... mostly the pain. I never understood why I was born, I've never understood the meaning or purpose to life. We're pretty much born to die, it makes no sense to me. The world we live in is crap and 90% of the humans who live in it are horrible people. Why would anyone be content in this world? Excuse me, I have developed a pessimistic personality over the last few years due to constantly being f***ed over by the universe any time I try to achieve something good, or have hope or try to do better or anything remotely positive.
So I'm done trying, I've been done with life so many times but this time round... this is it. No speaking to dr's, or mental health professions. They all think it's so simple to flip the switch. Do some exercise, work full time, go out, meet with friends, visit family, be productive... like thats really going to solve my problems
I'm done hurting, i'm done crying, i'm done feeling alone, i'm done breathing, i'm done with the heartache, i'm done explaining myself, i'm done breaking down, I'm done with this s**ty, f***ed up sad life.
No one gets me, no one understands what I go through daily, it's a chore to continue living. I don't want to continue suffering so I want to go, before the end of the year for good. With that I want to do the Exit method but I'm worried about some oxygen getting into the bag when pulled over the head completely. Does anyone think this method will work with either a diving mask or a Cpap? I saw an article of a success story where a man used a diving masked attached to a gas tank. A painless exit is desired for me
I'm new to the site, just joined. I love how freely people can speak without the judgement❤ Just wanted to express some feelings towards my life right now as I can't tell anyone else...
In short I've been physically abused, sexually abused/assaulted, I suffer from depression, anxiety/social anxiety, PTSD and trauma. I've Never truly experienced any love until a few years ago in my adult life through a relationship, even then the situation wasn't the greatest after a while due to my issues and lack of understanding. Yesterday, I was told by the love of my life (we're not currently together but had messed around a few times recently- as we still have feelings for each other) that-in short- he doesn't see us getting back together because we want different things, mainly he wants a family & i don't. This is something he was aware of before we got together but (I later found out) he thought he could change my mind. He was 'the one' for me. The thought of him creating a family with someone else makes me sick, not in a disgusted way but in a way where i wouldn't be able to stand by, watch & be okay. That would tear me apart day by day, post by post. You might think 'just remove yourself from his life' it's just not that simple. Then theres this...
I literally feel like i was born to suffer in this awful world... like my whole existence has just been completely full of pain!! Betrayal, heartache, people coming in and out of my life, abuse, lies... those literally are the only things that are constant in my life... mostly the pain. I never understood why I was born, I've never understood the meaning or purpose to life. We're pretty much born to die, it makes no sense to me. The world we live in is crap and 90% of the humans who live in it are horrible people. Why would anyone be content in this world? Excuse me, I have developed a pessimistic personality over the last few years due to constantly being f***ed over by the universe any time I try to achieve something good, or have hope or try to do better or anything remotely positive.
So I'm done trying, I've been done with life so many times but this time round... this is it. No speaking to dr's, or mental health professions. They all think it's so simple to flip the switch. Do some exercise, work full time, go out, meet with friends, visit family, be productive... like thats really going to solve my problems
I'm done hurting, i'm done crying, i'm done feeling alone, i'm done breathing, i'm done with the heartache, i'm done explaining myself, i'm done breaking down, I'm done with this s**ty, f***ed up sad life.No one gets me, no one understands what I go through daily, it's a chore to continue living. I don't want to continue suffering so I want to go, before the end of the year for good. With that I want to do the Exit method but I'm worried about some oxygen getting into the bag when pulled over the head completely. Does anyone think this method will work with either a diving mask or a Cpap? I saw an article of a success story where a man used a diving masked attached to a gas tank. A painless exit is desired for me
