B

bluelou

Member
Nov 10, 2022
14
I am so tired of feeling tired. The cycle of cptsd, recurrent untreatable depression and anxiety has me feeling like ctb is the only way to stop it.
I've been given all manor of meds and last year got to lithium which for a while has helped but the lows are creeping in again. The flashbacks keep on coming, and I wonder why I bother I asked for help this morning after a night full of flashbacks and everyone I asked was too busy. I guess I really am a burden to people. I told my husband last week that I had planning thoughts in my head again and now here I am again at the next stage talking on here to people who get it. This time I feel like it really will be the only option, I have a psych apt Monday and I don't know which way to go... I use zopiclone for sleep and plan an od, then cutting and a nice warm bath to drift off with the help of the od. Do I tell the psych I have a plan, do I give this shitty life one more try and lose the sleeping meds and probably others?
I'm completely feeling broken.šŸ˜¢šŸ˜¢
 
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a_tired_autist

Member
Oct 5, 2024
8
Ultimately the choice is yours, i think the most important is ask yourself is will be the best outcome. Personally there was this one time wanted ctb but i decided than i didn't have achieved a certain goal in mind and that i would postpone my attempts because i had amend to make and i wanted to have no regrets.

I don't know about the efficiency and painlessness of the method you intend to use but be sure check. If it is effective and if does not leads high chances of permanent damages. You don't want to fail ctb and being either unable to re-attempt ctb ever again or getting better and having permanent damage that impair your life forever.

In any case I wish you the best.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,149


Cutting as suicide method is very inefficient and unreliable. Plus, the risk of long-lasting damage is huge.
ODs are not much more successful. Zopiclone in particular has a LD50 (dose half of the human population would lethally OD on) of 980mg/kg. Let's say you're 60kg: you would need around 8,000 pills to have a 50% chance of CTBing, which is a ridiculous amount of pills: your stomach is not big enough to down them all and even if it was you would most likely throw it all up wayyy before the 8,000th.
You should research your method thoroughly. You can begin with the Suicide Resource Compilation.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,316
I understand why you'd feel so tired, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, existence certainly is so cruel to me. But anyway I wish you the best.
 

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