Time to go to the grocery store again

[Hollowman]

It's so strange sometimes when I have to buy food to sustain a life I can barely tolerate. I really look forward to this shit being over.

 

[Pale_Rider]

my PTSD is a real problem for tasks like shopping. I usually go to different places each visit. Sometimes I will take a liking to a particular store, and then somebody ( a cashier usually ) will become familiar with me, and I will have to avoid that store for a while.

 

[nowherelilies]

it's really strange. i feel this way too when i go out to do tasks like groceries or laundry or even eating. it seems so pointless, all this upkeep, just for me to die in the end. yet i still do it anyway it's like i'm on autopilot at this point. i feel like i'm just waiting it out.

 

[Lyn]

Yeah, I get that feeling. For me, it's like walking around handing out CVs and trying to "function," while everything I'd need to just end it all is literally sitting back at my home. It's a weird disconnect. Doing life maintenance while feeling completely done with it.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry~ :( This may come as a surprise, but I think humans are supposed to enjoy food~ so they don't tend to mind stuff like that~ Myself tho~ :( it's like when you want to learn how to cook in order to be a good housewife, but you get no joy out of it because you absolutely despise food anyways~ :( I hate how much effort goes into getting, preparing, and eating food, and I hate the entire freaking process~ >_< ofc, socializing can make it better, but sooo many people talk about food like it's actually interesting~ >_<

 

[nowherelilies]

Yeah, I get that feeling. For me, it's like walking around handing out CVs and trying to "function," while everything I'd need to just end it all is literally sitting back at my home. It's a weird disconnect. Doing life maintenance while feeling completely done with it.

"disconnect" is the perfect word to put it.

i always get these moments where i have to look at my hand, what i'm holding, and still feel out of my body? like i'm doing these things but mentally, i'm so withdrawn from all of it.

i always get these experiences when i'm outside and i hear the rushing of other people, how they talk, how they move, how they look so 'alive' meanwhile i feel like i'm aware that i'm already dead? on the inside atleast as there's still no formality in my physical form yet.

 

[Lyn]

"disconnect" is the perfect word to put it.

i always get these moments where i have to look at my hand, what i'm holding, and still feel out of my body? like i'm doing these things but mentally, i'm so withdrawn from all of it.

i always get these experiences when i'm outside and i hear the rushing of other people, how they talk, how they move, how they look so 'alive' meanwhile i feel like i'm aware that i'm already dead? on the inside atleast as there's still no formality in my physical form yet.

Yeah, that resonates a lot. I've had those exact moments, being surrounded by people who seem so present, so alive, and I just feel like a shadow moving through their world.

Not quite here, not quite gone.

It's eerie, like I'm stuck between existing and fading out.

But hearing you put it that way makes it feel a little less lonely, honestly.
Though I'm sorry you do have such feelings too.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Im playing the "I cant ctb, because it will hurt peoples feelings" game I suppose. On the otherside of the fence there is no sympathy for what would make me want to ctb. Granted no one can fathom what its like.

 

[Hollowman]

Well I'm off to the store to get a bunch of overpriced crap full of microplastics. Wish that shit would end me.