time for my seasonal sad vent post

[hourlyrabbit]

I'm really tired. sometimes i feel like I have so little of a future in sight that i have no more energy to feel sad. i feel empty, ive lost everything important to me in the past year. Work prospects have gotten worse, i've lost one of my closest friends, and last month i lost the only little guy keeping me healthy, my best friend, my pet rabbit. i miss him so much

I've been looking for some way to get out and end it, but i have such a hard time getting work that i have less than a dollar to my name and can't even afford to take a bus somewhere. i'm so, so tired.

i don't even know if i want to CTB anymore, i'm so ill and so depressed that any effort feels like a waste. i just need everything to disappear and for something or someone to take me out in a single go, without warning


thank you for reading, this one was more rambley than normal. if anybody wants to talk privately you can always message me, thank you again for caring to read. i love you and am proud of you