Thursday is my day

[JustSomeDude]

Well, folks.....I'm still here.

Still fighting.

I'm also going to try and stick around.

Some developments since last I updated you all:

• I started therapy on Monday night, and my church is helping me cover the costs until I can cover them myself. I can't tell you how helpful that was, even after one session.
• I've been on two interviews and have two job offers, one of which I accepted. I have the potential of four job offers by Friday for even more money. The job I did accept is something I can take the bus to, so it's not too far at all, and I can keep my apartment, my cats, and even keep feeding the strays that show up to my back door.
• I'm starting to feel REALLY happy that she is gone, and REALLY proud of myself for the way I got so strong and stood up to her in the end and kicked her out, scared, with her tails between her legs.
• The only "catch" is that, in her haste to run away from me in her shame, she left more than half her stuff behind. Boxes upon boxes of bathroom stuff, hair stuff, makeup, 10 pair of shoes/sneakers, clothes, it goes on and on. Even her spare pair of glasses, her favorite recipe books, would you do that if you were innocent and not running away from your guilt. I was going through a bedroom closet and found a hidden folder. She even took out a credit card in 2020 with a $3,600 limit. This was the same person who always cried poverty, always criticized every penny I ever spent, and always complained that we never had any money for anything beyond bills and rent. Last year when one of my cats needed an expensive tooth extraction, I had to raise the money myself when all along she had these credit cards that we could have used and I would have helped to pay off. Just made me happier she was gone ALL THE MORE. What else did she lie about?

So there you have it. At the moment I write this, I feel peace, tranquility, and sheer joy at the thought that I rid myself of this massive weight on my shoulders. She's the one who ran off scared, defeated, caught, and without a home of her own, likely hiding out at her son's horrible gf's home.

I should end my life for that disaster of a person?

Like my friend told me: "She lost the battle, and the war, and you should be proud of how you rid yourself of her. She blew it, big time, and will mess up again, trust me."

Thanks for bearing with me folks.

I'm fighting on. Not for her, but for me.

And my cats.

Much love friend, no matter what just know you're supported here

 

[Hatari]

It would appear that she might have showed up here this past Friday morning, according to my landlords son, her car was spotted.

I see light by my apartment door occasionally.

I feel like I'm being stalked, but I hope I'm wrong.

Locks have been changed and I've completely ghosted her.

Starting to wonder why I continue to bother, and the urges to exit are stirring again.

I wish she would just leave me alone and get help, since she needs it far more than I do.

Maybe I should just go……I'm so exhausted.

 

[Hatari]

New departure date: 2/11/22.

I don't want to do this anymore.

 

[Hatari]

My feelings haven't changed. Still going next week.

 

[Foresight]

Are you doing anything nice for yourself during this time? I hope you have some time to decompress from all of life's stress. What's your plans for your cats?

 

[occamsrazor]

Hatari, I just read your thread. You went through so much up and down on this roller coaster. you are a warrior. Keep fighting there is light ahead! I hope she is completely moved out by now she didn't deserve all your years of devotion. Don't let her being with this dude bring you down because if she could go on emotionless for 5 plus years she will be the same again once she gets bored or discontent. There is something going on under her surface. And a woman that has no ambition when her household is struggling financially that is so unattractive. I hope you keep holding on I believe there is good coming to you very soon

 

[Cats26]

I sincerely hope you choose to keep fighting, she is not worth this. I am sending you love.

 

[Foresight]

Checking in, wishing you well.

 

[Chiisai]

Upon reading your situation I remembered this quote

"Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something." - Chris Rock

I hope this will change and the sooner the better. Wishing you well.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

New departure date: 2/11/22.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Sorry, I missed you. I hope you have found peace.
If you have changed your mind and are still here, please let us know you are ok.

 

[Hatari]

Just to let everyone know, I am still here.

I feel much better.

I am in therapy.

I am working and rebuilding my life.

I completely ghosted her and it was the best decision I ever made.

Happier than I've been in years.

Thank you one and all.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Just to let everyone know, I am still here.

I feel much better.

I am in therapy.

I am working and rebuilding my life.

I completely ghosted her and it was the best decision I ever made.

Happier than I've been in years.

Thank you one and all.

So glad to hear you are doing well. If you can say hi sometimes that would be great.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm happy you've found some healing, Hatari. ♥

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Just to let everyone know, I am still here.

I feel much better.

I am in therapy.

I am working and rebuilding my life.

I completely ghosted her and it was the best decision I ever made.

Happier than I've been in years.

Thank you one and all.

Keep your secrets, don't open up fully to even your soul mate. They'll hold it against you one day.

This is incredible advice.
I read the whole thread, and I must say that if you are determined to continue it might be best to stop setting departure dates? I'm not the ctb police (planning my exit also), but it can get addicting and can be self-sabotaging.

Glad you're doing better. Please keep building your life up and savoring the freedom of her absence.

 

[Deadly_Intention]

Just to let everyone know, I am still here.

I feel much better.

I am in therapy.

I am working and rebuilding my life.

I completely ghosted her and it was the best decision I ever made.

Happier than I've been in years.

Thank you one and all.

I read your whole thread and the comments of support from those here was so great, the people here on SS are so great! It makes me sad to think you are all so caring and yet in so much pain yourselves
I am glad you are still here Hatari, I know the rollercoaster feelings associated with to CTB or not to CTB... I have been there many times (currently there). I hope that your therapy helps you and that you find peace! Ghosting the person who caused you so much grief is indeed the best you can do. Delete the memory of her and try to move forward!

This is incredible advice.
I read the whole thread, and I must say that if you are determined to continue it might be best to stop setting departure dates? I'm not the ctb police (planning my exit also), but it can get addicting and can be self-sabotaging.

Glad you're doing better. Please keep building your life up and savoring the freedom of her absence.

I can agree with setting dates being self-sabotaging, yet I do this to myself too.
I'll say to myself "ok, Thursday is the day" then something will happen which stops me like say someone comes over unexpectedly.. then I be like "fine I'll do it Monday night" then something happens like seeing a friend who suddenly makes me feel as if I can keeping fighting and that's how it goes on and on... then the one day which is finally perfect to CTB I doubt doing it or get scared etc. it's really hard

 

[Hatari]

Hey gang!

Still here and doing well! Might even have a date Saturday.

Therapy has done wonders.

 

[Maaizr]

Hey gang!

Still here and doing well! Might even have a date Saturday.

Therapy has done wonders.

❤

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hey gang!

Still here and doing well! Might even have a date Saturday.

Therapy has done wonders.

That is awesome!!!! Do you have an extra one for me? Seriously .... I'm happy for you.

 

[FindingPeace8]

Hey gang!

Still here and doing well! Might even have a date Saturday.

Therapy has done wonders.

I read your whole thread and am so so happy for you. I'm so glad therapy has worked for and your life is getting back on track. It is really encouraging that you have actually received the support you needed to keep going. I don't know you IRL but I honestly feel so proud of you. You are doing amazing, keep up the great work. Really inspiring stuff dude. Sending you love and hugs!

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Happy for you, Hatari.

 

[indigomoon]

Hey gang!

Still here and doing well! Might even have a date Saturday.

Therapy has done wonders.

I am so happy for you! That is so good to hear!

 

[Hatari]

Thank you all. Still here and can't remember the last time I was this happy with my life. Loving the single bachelor life. I was so unhappy for so long, this Is still new territory for me.

I even adopted another cat.

 

[itsallover]

I have been burned by partners badly a couple of times. First I had this lunatic threatening suicide all the time to the point she coned me into buying her a "therapy animal". Then I became deeply involved with someone for almost three years but when I wasn't getting better in quite the time they wanted and were always pushing for marriage threw me out like trash as when I was at my place she always stayed with me but when I had nowhere to go they were showing me the door immediately. I don't understand people, so selfish. Sorry to hear all this.