Thursday is my day

[#imdone]

Hatari I feel your pain and my ex was seeing others behind my back but eventually left for a real deadbeat. I'm broken tried fixing but just can't, it's never too late to reach out and it sounds like you have people that love you & will miss you, whatever you decide fair winds my friend

 

[Hatari]

Update:

I am delaying until Monday, thanks to a few developments.

1. My old boss from a few years ago offered to give me my job back for great money, he'd pay for my commute (since she took the car) and offered to help me pay rent this month so I won't lose my home.
2. I found strength I didn't know I had and coldly and unemotionally told her she either needed to move out of MY apartment or pay me weekly rent. She claims to be out by next weekend, and her son (who I still love) will be moving out on his own, so she will be all alone!
3. A friend of mine connected me with a therapist who I will hopefully speak to this afternoon. I would need intensive therapy if I am to carry on.

Will I miss her? No, I can't stand her and cannot wait to have my bachelor's life back.

Can't exactly miss someone who hasn't touched you in 5 years, hasn't slept in your bed for 3, and who was indifferent to your pleads to work on things, and only stayed because she couldn't afford to move?

Well, you're found out, and now you'll be all alone.

Going to meet with my old/new boss Sunday, so will see how that goes.

 

[StarryStarry]

Update:

I am delaying until Monday, thanks to a few developments.

1. My old boss from a few years ago offered to give me my job back for great money, he'd pay for my commute (since she took the car) and offered to help me pay rent this month so I won't lose my home.
2. I found strength I didn't know I had and coldly and emotionally told her she either needed to move out of MY apartment or pay me weekly rent. She claims to be out by next weekend, and her son (who I still love) will be moving out on his own, so she will be all alone!

Going to meet with my old/new boss Sunday, so will see how that goes.

I am so happy for you there is a shred of hope here. Please do let me know how it goes. It sounds as if you will have a boss who really cares (very rare). Good luck, my friend.

 

[TheBestUsernameEver]

Update:

I am delaying until Monday, thanks to a few developments.

1. My old boss from a few years ago offered to give me my job back for great money, he'd pay for my commute (since she took the car) and offered to help me pay rent this month so I won't lose my home.
2. I found strength I didn't know I had and coldly and emotionally told her she either needed to move out of MY apartment or pay me weekly rent. She claims to be out by next weekend, and her son (who I still love) will be moving out on his own, so she will be all alone!
3. A friend of mine connected me with a therapist who I will hopefully speak to this afternoon. I would need intensive therapy if I am to carry on.

Will I miss her? No, I can't stand her and cannot wait to have my bachelor's life back.

Can't exactly miss someone who hasn't touched you in 5 years, hasn't slept in your bed for 3, and who was indifferent to your please to work on things, and only stayed because she couldn't afford to move?

Well, you're found out, and now you'll be all alone.

Going to meet with my old/new boss Sunday, so will see how that goes.

I'm really pleased that things seems to be on the up for you. Just imagine that you went ahead with your original plan; you wouldn't be experiencing this positivity right now

 

[Wrennie]

Update:

I am delaying until Monday, thanks to a few developments.

1. My old boss from a few years ago offered to give me my job back for great money, he'd pay for my commute (since she took the car) and offered to help me pay rent this month so I won't lose my home.
2. I found strength I didn't know I had and coldly and unemotionally told her she either needed to move out of MY apartment or pay me weekly rent. She claims to be out by next weekend, and her son (who I still love) will be moving out on his own, so she will be all alone!
3. A friend of mine connected me with a therapist who I will hopefully speak to this afternoon. I would need intensive therapy if I am to carry on.

Will I miss her? No, I can't stand her and cannot wait to have my bachelor's life back.

Can't exactly miss someone who hasn't touched you in 5 years, hasn't slept in your bed for 3, and who was indifferent to your pleads to work on things, and only stayed because she couldn't afford to move?

Well, you're found out, and now you'll be all alone.

Going to meet with my old/new boss Sunday, so will see how that goes.

I pray that things continue to go up for you and that you find your desire to CTB diminish with time. Maybe your suffering can be overcome? It's not my place to say, but if your life is starting to head in a positive direction then there's no harm in holding onto some semblance of hope.
Regardless, much love to you and I'm sorry for the pain that you've had to endure up until this point.

 

[DobryDen]

Also sending love your way

 

[Hatari]

I pray that things continue to go up for you and that you find your desire to CTB diminish with time. Maybe your suffering can be overcome? It's not my place to say, but if your life is starting to head in a positive direction then there's no harm in holding onto some semblance of hope.
Regardless, much love to you and I'm sorry for the pain that you've had to endure up until this point.

Thank you. I'm trying. I came closer than I ever have to leaving yesterday, and everything is still set up.

It astounded me how simple it was, and how my extensive research had paid off.

However, after this morning, when I put my foot down and showed that cheating liar that I was DONE and wanted her OUT when I showed her that I am done with her treatment, done with her games, done with her lies, done with her cheating, I felt, at least temporarily, the clouds part.

I also reconnected with my parents for the first time in a decade.

I also forgave god, and with my pastor friend, started praying.

I have to keep reminding myself:

I did nothing wrong.

I made HUGE mistakes, but I never cheated on her. I never strayed. I never texted a "friend" that they were the best part of my 2021. I never texted a friend that I wanted to see their "handsome face."

I never gave her one red flag, she gave me hundreds.

It was clear to me that she stayed because she couldn't afford to move.

Now she has no choice.

Good luck with that karma.

 

[Crazy4u]

Thank you. I'm trying. I came closer than I ever have to leaving yesterday, and everything is still set up.

It astounded me how simple it was, and how my extensive research had paid off.

However, after this morning, when I put my foot down and showed that cheating liar that I was DONE and wanted her OUT when I showed her that I am done with her treatment, done with her games, done with her lies, done with her cheating, I felt, at least temporarily, the clouds part.

I also reconnected with my parents for the first time in a decade.

I also forgave god, and with my pastor friend, started praying.

I have to keep reminding myself:

I did nothing wrong.

I made HUGE mistakes, but I never cheated on her. I never strayed. I never texted a "friend" that they were the best part of my 2021. I never texted a friend that I wanted to see their "handsome face."

I never gave her one red flag, she gave me hundreds.

It was clear to me that she stayed because she couldn't afford to move.

Now she has no choice.

Good luck with that karma.

Hatari,

I am glad for 2 reasons:
- you are still here with us
- you are stronger and happier

Sometimes I see people who change their minds about ctb and continue to live in despair. It usually makes me feel happy and sad at the same time: happy because they are alive, sad because they still live in despair

I wish you find happiness and success in your life

 

[Maaizr]

I also forgave god, and with my pastor friend, started praying.

glad to hear this, seriously we are all way stronger than we give ourselves credit for❤
@Hatari keep the faith brother you are still in this, whatever you choose may your soul find peace

 

[StarryStarry]

Okay, I'm old. I feel because I'm old I can give advice. You can take it or leave it. You are a great person. I know I know I don't know you personally, but on this site people bare their souls and that is where you can find the true them. You are worth so much more than what that bitch gave you. I am not trying to change your mind, I'm assuming you are grown and know what you want to do, but just let this sink in. If you ctb, do you think it will affect her? The answer is NO. She will go on with her happy ass and think in her mind gee he loved me so much that he took his life. You are a GREAT person and deserve so much more than this. I've always found that when someone hurts you like you have been hurt you need to close the chapter on that book and move on. It sounds as if some really good things are happening in your life. Please think twice before you make any decision in your life. And remember you are a GREAT person.

 

[Hatari]

Okay, I'm old. I feel because I'm old I can give advice. You can take it or leave it. You are a great person. I know I know I don't know you personally, but on this site people bare their souls and that is where you can find the true them. You are worth so much more than what that bitch gave you. I am not trying to change your mind, I'm assuming you are grown and know what you want to do, but just let this sink in. If you ctb, do you think it will affect her? The answer is NO. She will go on with her happy ass and think in her mind gee he loved me so much that he took his life. You are a GREAT person and deserve so much more than this. I've always found that when someone hurts you like you have been hurt you need to close the chapter on that book and move on. It sounds as if some really good things are happening in your life. Please think twice before you make any decision in your life. And remember you are a GREAT person.

Thank you so much for saying that, truly.

To be honest, her lack of interest and complete ignoring of me, all while being unwilling to try and work on things has led me to want to end my life for the better part of a year. I never thought SHE would make me want to do that.

I tried to end my life in 2013 because I lied to her about money.

I spent one week in the hospital. She never left my side.

I also think she was never the same towards me after that experience.

We slowly faded, and that fading accelerated from 2017 on when she stopped touching me, and stopped sleeping in the same bed.

When I saw those texts to the other man (who I reported to his company, I mean, I have to do something) Something in me snapped.

I wanted out with her, and then I wanted OUT.

Those urges, that I fought through EVERY DAY, were SCREAMING at me.

She said no to me for 5 years only to text him THAT?

Then why didn't she just leave first?

I deserved honesty.

She couldn't be honest.

Seeing those texts destroyed me.

I suspected something was happening, even my landlord said she seemed "detached," but I never thought she'd do that.

I always thought we'd break up first.

I was the only father figure her son ever had. In fact, he and I (he's 25) are closer than ever and he might stay here a few weeks until he finds a place.

This week, the urges were overwhelming.

SCREAMING to just give up.

Today, for the first time in a while, I felt I could control those urges after I confronted her this morning.

That doesn't mean there won't be setbacks, but I have gone out of my way to, outwardly, appear strong to her.

She kinda made it easy by sleeping on the couch for 3 years. Not like my bed is suddenly empty.

It will take me YEARS of therapy to get over this, and I intend to remain retired from relationships, and just have my cats.

She did say one thing right: we should have broken up years ago.

In fact, I wish she never stuck by me when I was in the hospital in 2013.

Wasted time wouldn't have been lost.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

 

[StarryStarry]

Thank you so much for saying that, truly.

To be honest, her lack of interest and complete ignoring of me, all while being unwilling to try and work on things has led me to want to end my life for the better part of a year. I never thought SHE would make me want to do that.

I tried to end my life in 2013 because I lied to her about money.

I spent one week in the hospital. She never left my side.

I also think she was never the same towards me after that experience.

We slowly faded, and that fading accelerated from 2017 on when she stopped touching me, and stopped sleeping in the same bed.

When I saw those texts to the other man (who I reported to his company, I mean, I have to do something) Something in me snapped.

I wanted out with her, and then I wanted OUT.

Those urges, that I fought through EVERY DAY, were SCREAMING at me.

She said no to me for 5 years only to text him THAT?

Then why didn't she just leave first?

I deserved honesty.

She couldn't be honest.

Seeing those texts destroyed me.

I suspected something was happening, even my landlord said she seemed "detached," but I never thought she'd do that.

I always thought we'd break up first.

I was the only father figure her son ever had. In fact, he and I (he's 25) are closer than ever and he might stay here a few weeks until he finds a place.

This week, the urges were overwhelming.

SCREAMING to just give up.

Today, for the first time in a while, I felt I could control those urges after I confronted her this morning.

That doesn't mean there won't be setbacks, but I have gone out of my way to, outwardly, appear strong to her.

She kinda made it easy by sleeping on the couch for 3 years. Not like my bed is suddenly empty.

It will take me YEARS of therapy to get over this, and I intend to remain retired from relationships, and just have my cats.

She did say one thing right: we should have broken up years ago.

In fact, I wish she never stuck by me when I was in the hospital in 2013.

Wasted time wouldn't have been lost.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

Hardly rambling. May I share a little story with you? Well, here goes ... My "husband" who molested my daughter forcing her to kill herself and I didn't find this out until after she was buried and her friends told me (she had told her friends). Okay so (before I knew this) after her funeral (about a week), he tells me that he has a surprise for me. I'm really struggling and wanted a diversion desperately. So I jumped in the truck and we went to a store where we both got out, there was a young lady standing in the store (she worked there) and he took me to her and said, "This is my girlfriend and I wanted you to meet her." I immediately went into my mind shutting down (good thing I didn't have a gun at the time). I disassociated from myself because it was so horrendous I couldn't deal with it. I can tell you that it took me years to not concentrate on the hate I had for him and the wish for his death (a horrible one at that). Now, honestly I hate him but I will NOT allow him to think of ctb because he would take that as I was weak and I couldn't live without him. You are strong. When the voices in your head tell you're not - pm me IMMEDIATELY!!! You are a great guy - anyone who loves cats is my kind of guy. Please hang in there she is not worth the shit on your shoes. I hope this helps. I hate it when people want to ctb because someone they love treats them badly. You are worth so much more.

 

[Hatari]

Hardly rambling. May I share a little story with you? Well, here goes ... My "husband" who molested my daughter forcing her to kill herself and I didn't find this out until after she was buried and her friends told me (she had told her friends). Okay so (before I knew this) after her funeral (about a week), he tells me that he has a surprise for me. I'm really struggling and wanted a diversion desperately. So I jumped in the truck and we went to a store where we both got out, there was a young lady standing in the store (she worked there) and he took me to her and said, "This is my girlfriend and I wanted you to meet her." I immediately went into my mind shutting down (good thing I didn't have a gun at the time). I disassociated from myself because it was so horrendous I couldn't deal with it. I can tell you that it took me years to not concentrate on the hate I had for him and the wish for his death (a horrible one at that). Now, honestly I hate him but I will NOT allow him to think of ctb because he would take that as I was weak and I couldn't live without him. You are strong. When the voices in your head tell you're not - pm me IMMEDIATELY!!! You are a great guy - anyone who loves cats is my kind of guy. Please hang in there she is not worth the shit on your shoes. I hope this helps. I hate it when people want to ctb because someone they love treats them badly. You are worth so much more.

Thank you so much. Means the world to me. The outpouring of support has truly surprised me. I have been open on Facebook about what she did and my mistakes (not the urges part, don't want someone calling the cops on me) and people I haven't spoken to in years, and friends from years ago have reached out to message me. One woman who I was there for when her cat died reached out to me.

I have been so so accustomed to not feeling like I mattered that it took me for a loop.

I have issues with anxiety, depression, and I tend to lie about stupid things like being sick or having money to cope when I can't handle things. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. Lack of proper health insurance has left me unable to get into therapy, and I have wanted therapy for years.

Lately I have had issues coping with understanding why she had no interest in me AT ALL, but was unwilling to make any changes. She was happy the way things were. It took me doing the breaking up, asking her to leave, to finally break the cycle.

She told me she was a week away from breaking up with me but I find that hard to believe.

She knew that. She knew I struggled.

I was honest with her about THAT, even when I was being dishonest about stupid things.

Yet she still texted him.

Oh he's just a friend, that's how I talk to my friends. Sorry, kiddo, but no one talks to their friends that way.

Even texting is cheating, even if never went beyond that.

I find it telling that her son has chosen now, this week, to move on his own. "It's just easier," he said. I pray to God she didn't tell him the truth, I did not, and refuse to bring him into her lies. I am the only father he has ever known, and I am happy I have a chance to maintain that, without HER.

I will be happier when she moves out and I can rearrange the place and make it my own. I cannot stand it when she is here. I cannot look at her.

I am SO very sorry for what you went through, and my heart goes out to you. PM ME if you ever needed someone to talk to.

As to the cats, she is taking 2 of the 5 and I agreed to that. I know they will be well cared for. She is bad with people, not animals.

 

[Wrennie]

Thank you so much. Means the world to me. The outpouring of support has truly surprised me. I have been open on Facebook about what she did and my mistakes (not the urges part, don't want someone calling the cops on me) and people I haven't spoken to in years, and friends from years ago have reached out to message me. One woman who I was there for when her cat died reached out to me.

I have been so so accustomed to not feeling like I mattered that it took me for a loop.

I have issues with anxiety, depression, and I tend to lie about stupid things like being sick or having money to cope when I can't handle things. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. Lack of proper health insurance has left me unable to get into therapy, and I have wanted therapy for years.

Lately I have had issues coping with understanding why she had no interest in me AT ALL, but was unwilling to make any changes. She was happy the way things were. It took me doing the breaking up, asking her to leave, to finally break the cycle.

She told me she was a week away from breaking up with me but I find that hard to believe.

She knew that. She knew I struggled.

I was honest with her about THAT, even when I was being dishonest about stupid things.

Yet she still texted him.

Oh he's just a friend, that's how I talk to my friends. Sorry, kiddo, but no one talks to their friends that way.

Even texting is cheating, even if never went beyond that.

I find it telling that her son has chosen now, this week, to move on his own. "It's just easier," he said. I pray to God she didn't tell him the truth, I did not, and refuse to bring him into her lies. I am the only father he has ever known, and I am happy I have a chance to maintain that, without HER.

I will be happier when she moves out and I can rearrange the place and make it my own. I cannot stand it when she is here. I cannot look at her.

I am SO very sorry for what you went through, and my heart goes out to you. PM ME if you ever needed someone to talk to.

As to the cats, she is taking 2 of the 5 and I agreed to that. I know they will be well cared for. She is bad with people, not animals.

It's a relief that it appears as though you're reconsidering your CTB. I hope your situation & life in general continues to improve for you.

I'm thankful that your precious kitties will be well cared for too!

 

[Hatari]

Today, it got ugly.

I shared a meme about cheating, one friend of hers on IG I forgot to delete bashed me.

"She slept on the couch to keep her distance from you. At least she wasn't a liar."

Look, it's my social media, I can say what I want. I never mentioned her by her (real) name and instructed my friends to leave her alone.

Classic deflecting technique.

I OWN and admit my mistakes and started therapy last night. I was BRUTALLY honest.

Nothing I did wrong justified cheating, even emotional cheating.

NOTHING.

 

[TheBestUsernameEver]

Today, it got ugly.

I shared a meme about cheating, one friend of hers on IG I forgot to delete bashed me.

"She slept on the couch to keep her distance from you. At least she wasn't a liar."

Look, it's my social media, I can say what I want. I never mentioned her by her (real) name and instructed my friends to leave her alone.

Classic deflecting technique.

I OWN and admit my mistakes and started therapy last night. I was BRUTALLY honest.

Nothing I did wrong justified cheating, even emotional cheating.

NOTHING.

Don't do what most people do, which is to end a relationship, then spend 6 months arguing back and forth.

If you're going to cut her out of your life on the basis that she isn't good for you, then cut her out and block on all channels. Same for her friends.

 

[Wrennie]

Today, it got ugly.

I shared a meme about cheating, one friend of hers on IG I forgot to delete bashed me.

"She slept on the couch to keep her distance from you. At least she wasn't a liar."

Look, it's my social media, I can say what I want. I never mentioned her by her (real) and instructed my friends to leave her alone.

Classic deflecting technique.

I OWN and admit my mistakes and started therapy last night. I was BRUTALLY honest.

Nothing I did wrong justified cheating, even emotional cheating.

NOTHING.

I know it's hard, but I wouldn't take that particular offense personally. Her friends are friends with 'her', not with you, and therefore they will always defend & take her side because they've probably only been exposed to her self-serving account of the series of events that transpired. Being her friend, it would be unnatural if they didn't side with her, and if that did happen to be the case then she likely wouldn't remain friends with them for very long.

I'm sorry things started going downhill again. I hope that you're still able to grab hold of a happy future for yourself. You deserve to find someone who appreciates and loves you for you.

All of the best.

 

[Hatari]

I know it's hard, but I wouldn't take that particular offense personally. Her friends are friends with 'her', not with you, and therefore they will always defend & take her side because they've probably only been exposed to her self-serving account of the series of events that transpired. Being her friend, it would be unnatural if they didn't side with her, and if that did happen to be the case then she likely wouldn't remain friends with them for very long.

I'm sorry things started going downhill again. I hope that you're still able to grab hold of a happy future for yourself. You deserve to find someone who appreciates and loves you for you.

All of the best.

My mistake really, I missed one I forgot to block!

You're right, and if anything, goes to show that I was right about the cheating.

Gaslighting and deflecting.

 

[Foresight]

Her friend is just being blind support. If she had any sense she would've just unfollowed.

 

[miserableforever]

Update:

I am delaying until Monday, thanks to a few developments.

1. My old boss from a few years ago offered to give me my job back for great money, he'd pay for my commute (since she took the car) and offered to help me pay rent this month so I won't lose my home.
2. I found strength I didn't know I had and coldly and unemotionally told her she either needed to move out of MY apartment or pay me weekly rent. She claims to be out by next weekend, and her son (who I still love) will be moving out on his own, so she will be all alone!
3. A friend of mine connected me with a therapist who I will hopefully speak to this afternoon. I would need intensive therapy if I am to carry on.

Will I miss her? No, I can't stand her and cannot wait to have my bachelor's life back.

Can't exactly miss someone who hasn't touched you in 5 years, hasn't slept in your bed for 3, and who was indifferent to your pleads to work on things, and only stayed because she couldn't afford to move?

Well, you're found out, and now you'll be all alone.

Going to meet with my old/new boss Sunday, so will see how that goes.

So happy to hear your good news. Pushing through and standing your ground can be the best feeling in the world! Sounds like an exciting new chapter in your life

 

[Hatari]

Tried going out and I had to go home early. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

That she is having fun with her family, with him.

And I am all alone.

I think I should just go.

I can't do this.

I don't want to do this.

 

[Wrennie]

Tried going out and I had to go home early. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

That she is having fun with her family, with him.

And I am all alone.

I think I should just go.

I can't do this.

I don't want to do this.

Please don't let her be victorious in this. I can only imagine the agony you're going through right now, but is that woman really worth sacrificing your life for?

Do you have any family or friends that make it worth holding on? I understand if you've made your decision - in the end it is a choice that only you alone can make, but it seemed as though your life was beginning to show improvement just a little while ago. Ultimately I've never been in a relationship so I can't speak for your pain, but I believe there could still be a chance that you'll overcome this hurdle. Maybe you'll meet somebody new that's actually worth it. Again, I'm not trying to invalidate the legitimacy of your feelings - I just think that you deserve happiness. If she's the type of woman you describe, she'll never be satisfied being consistently tied to one guy and will ultimately grow weary of her current relationship & continue the cycle of cheating. I've observed that those types of people are usually broken inside in some manner and not as happy as they outwardly present themselves to others.

 

[Hatari]

I deserved the chance to gloat this morning.

Saw her briefly. Out for 14 hours yesterday, and already left for the day today.

She looked sad, very sad.

Muttered one thing about her son being in the bathroom.

I say nothing. Just nod.

Her son is tired but we are as right as rain.

My son. In all but biology.

Told him I had plans and will be out and to let me know when I will be home.

He's tired but ok.

I slept in again partially to get rest and mostly to limit as much contact with her as possible.

I want her out.

I want to live my life again.

She knows this.

All that guilt must be exhausting.

Forgive me for saying this but……

Good. You deserved it.

No possible mistake I could have made gave you the right to send those texts.

You should have been honest with me about him.

Still fighting.

Still here.

 

[Hatari]

I'm flat broke and can't come up with my rent this Saturday and it is already late.

I'll be out on the streets.

I'm done. DONE.

TOMORROW.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry things keep going wrong for you, Hatari. I hope you can find peace.

 

[Hatari]

A very good wonderful friend gifted me the money I need to cover rent for next month.

With that in mind, I am going to pay my landlord Tuesday when that money clears.

And then just leave. I'd hate to leave unpaid rent behind.

I tried as hard as I could.

I can't calm my brain.

I can't get help without insurance.

I'm out.

Tuesday.

Full day of rehearsals planned today as I haven't rehearsed since Thursday and want to make sure all is ready.

Tuesday.

 

[#imdone]

A very good wonderful friend gifted me the money I need to cover rent for next month.

With that in mind, I am going to pay my landlord Tuesday when that money clears.

And then just leave. I'd hate to leave unpaid rent behind.

I tried as hard as I could.

I can't calm my brain.

I can't get help without insurance.

I'm out.

Tuesday.

Full day of rehearsals planned today as I haven't rehearsed since Thursday and want to make sure all is ready.

Tuesday.

I share your pain and sense of hopelessness but you have been given a chance, I know just how hard it is to keep going and I'm a little hypercritical as I'm busy working on my ctb plans but maybe you aren't meant to go just yet? Whatever you decide may you find peace

 

[Hatari]

Putting a final date of Friday.

No more delays.

No more tries.

I can't deal with the stress of knowing where I'll be from one minute to the next.

The job I thought I had has vanished, and I passed up another opportunity because I was certain he had hired me. Turned out he was FOS.

That was my last try.

My last hope.

Rehearsals resume tomorrow. Extensive all day practices.

One day or rest weds.

Then Friday.

I'll be leaving.

Non negotiable.

 

[Wrennie]

Putting a final date of Friday.

No more delays.

No more tries.

I can't deal with the stress of knowing where I'll be from one minute to the next.

The job I thought I had has vanished, and I passed up another opportunity because I was certain he had hired me. Turned out he was FOS.

That was my last try.

My last hope.

Rehearsals resume tomorrow. Extensive all day practices.

One day or rest weds.

Then Friday.

I'll be leaving.

Non negotiable.

That's revolting of him to offer a false promise of salvation for you to latch onto and then remorselessly snatch it back out of your grasp. I'm so sorry, Hatari.

I wish there was something I could do to help you.

To feel so cornered and alone… First abandoned by the person you entrusted with your heart, only to have your feelings trampled upon as though they were nothing… in addition to what's happening to you now… I can see how it would cause a person to reach their breaking point.

I am truly praying for a miracle - for something to happen between now and Friday that makes life livable for you again. I'll be holding onto that hope for you. It would be a genuine blessing if you were able to stay here with us.

 

[Hatari]

That's revolting of him to offer a false promise of salvation for you to latch onto and then remorselessly snatch it back out of your grasp. I'm so sorry, Hatari.

I wish there was something I could do to help you.

To feel so cornered and alone… First abandoned by the person you entrusted with your heart, only to have your feelings trampled upon as though they were nothing… in addition to what's happening to you now… I can see how it would cause a person to reach their breaking point.

I am truly praying for a miracle - for something to happen between now and Friday that makes life livable for you again. I'll be holding onto that hope for you. It would be a genuine blessing if you were able to stay here with us.

Thank you so much. I'm done trying. Done hoping.

I'm being strong to her.

Inside I'm destroyed.

Friday it is.

Will be here until then.