Thoughts on reconnecting with people/tying up loose ends before CTB?

[uglyzuko]

anybody else planning on or considering doing this? Reconnecting with people that you left off on a bad foot or connections that fizzled out but you still treasure?

I have a friend. An ex boyfriend, but a friend too, and we ended our friendship pretty terribly. although I'm angry at him, although I don't know if i'd rekindle things with him if i weren't going to CTB, i still feel like i should because i'm leaving soon and it'll soon be irrevocable.

my first love was an awful boyfriend to me and although he's remorseful and apologetic i have cut off all contact with him. him, too, i would not contact if i were planning on living. at the same time, even though he was terrible to me, i cherish the memories he initially gave me and we had a really, really, really strong connection before things ended so badly. i'm considering leaving him a goodbye message (not telling him i'm killing myself or even alluding to it, just a farewell message on my end).

anybody else in a similar boat? would you leave things the way they are with somebody, or try to reach out before you die?

 

[Zvov]

I would like to but am afraid if i did, it would stop me from catching the bus. Struggling with SI now is hard enough as I got my SN in last week and here i still am.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I'll be leaving a Facebook message for the girl I had a crush on in high school, on the day of my exit. It will the first and last time I ever communicate with her.

 

[fly away]

I have managed to alienate almost every friend I've had.
My best friend of 25 yrs and I don't speak. I really don't know exactly why. My father and siblings have always treated me like a mental patient with no intelligence or reason. My father died a few months ago and my siblings immediately cut off all contact. I'm ctb within the year, and I just want peace. I don't have the energy to try to figure out "what I did wrong" and then try to "fix things."
I went through cancer treatment alone, although they all knew.
I don't think anyone will be too upset when I'm gone.
Sorry I'm venting…guess this post really got to me.

 

[Iridium Infinity]

I'm going to be making a few phone calls to people that I'd like to have a last conversation with, letting them know what's going on (not critical details like where, etc for opsec reasons) and going out on a good note. Telling the recent-ex that it isn't her fault, parents that I love them, close friends my appreciation, all that jazz.

They'll try to stop me, of course, but I have multiple contingencies in place for that eventuality. I feel that even though it is a massive risk to my success, I'm smarter than anyone else I know so I should have no problem staying ahead of it, at least long enough for it to not matter.

I could do it with more certainty just going out randomly, but the people close to me deserve better closure than that - I didn't choose to be in the situation that I'm presented with, but they also didn't choose to fall in love / become friends with someone that harbored such darkness and emptiness inside. It's the least I can do, considering all the suffering I'm going to be putting them through.

 

[Dollfaceh]

anybody else planning on or considering doing this? Reconnecting with people that you left off on a bad foot or connections that fizzled out but you still treasure?

I have a friend. An ex boyfriend, but a friend too, and we ended our friendship pretty terribly. although I'm angry at him, although I don't know if i'd rekindle things with him if i weren't going to CTB, i still feel like i should because i'm leaving soon and it'll soon be irrevocable.

my first love was an awful boyfriend to me and although he's remorseful and apologetic i have cut off all contact with him. him, too, i would not contact if i were planning on living. at the same time, even though he was terrible to me, i cherish the memories he initially gave me and we had a really, really, really strong connection before things ended so badly. i'm considering leaving him a goodbye message (not telling him i'm killing myself or even alluding to it, just a farewell message on my end).

anybody else in a similar boat? would you leave things the way they are with somebody, or try to reach out before you die?I

I just feel so disconnected from all other Peeple at this point so I'm not sure if I could help you. But I can say it's probably a normal feeling. I'm sorry you're hurting whoever you are for whatever reason

 

[rosie93]

anybody else planning on or considering doing this? Reconnecting with people that you left off on a bad foot or connections that fizzled out but you still treasure?

I have a friend. An ex boyfriend, but a friend too, and we ended our friendship pretty terribly. although I'm angry at him, although I don't know if i'd rekindle things with him if i weren't going to CTB, i still feel like i should because i'm leaving soon and it'll soon be irrevocable.

my first love was an awful boyfriend to me and although he's remorseful and apologetic i have cut off all contact with him. him, too, i would not contact if i were planning on living. at the same time, even though he was terrible to me, i cherish the memories he initially gave me and we had a really, really, really strong connection before things ended so badly. i'm considering leaving him a goodbye message (not telling him i'm killing myself or even alluding to it, just a farewell message on my end).

anybody else in a similar boat? would you leave things the way they are with somebody, or try to reach out before you die?

If you are sure you're going to cbt I wouldn't do that. Maybe they have already moved on, leaving their happy lives. Bringing yourself back in their lives might make them sad and angry.


And please don't tell them you're going to cbt.

We have to let them move on. They have their own problems.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally, I have not seen the people I used to consider as friends for years. I have no desire to see them ever again. In general, I would see it as better to distance myself from people as much as possible before ctb.

 

[gayscal3xo]

I don't think I would, its hard enough leaving the friends I currently have, leaving a mark on someone else's life might hurt them more after I'm gone than fix anything while I'm here

 

[demuic]

No, I don't want to think of people from my past. They're in the past for a reason and that's where they will stay.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

No way. I'm good as I am. Everyone else is better off without me in their lives anyway

 

[uglyzuko]

If you are sure you're going to cbt I wouldn't do that. Maybe they have already moved on, leaving their happy lives. Bringing yourself back in their lives might make them sad and angry.


And please don't tell them you're going to cbt.

We have to let them move on. They have their own problems.

the people i'm considering having a final conversation with were recent. my first friend we ended things a week ago, my first lover six months ago :/

i definitely am not going to tell them im going to ctb. i don't want them, especially my ex friend, to feel remorseful or regretful that they we ended things badly. or guilty.

I don't think I would, its hard enough leaving the friends I currently have, leaving a mark on someone else's life might hurt them more after I'm gone than fix anything while I'm here

this makes sense. do you think they would regret not talking to you one final time though? esp if you guys have history or ended things on a bad foot?

 

[rosie93]

the people i'm considering having a final conversation with were recent. my first friend we ended things a week ago, my first lover six months ago :/

i definitely am not going to tell them im going to ctb. i don't want them, especially my ex friend, to feel remorseful or regretful that they we ended things badly. or guilty.

this makes sense. do you think they would regret not talking to you one final time though? esp if you guys have history or ended things on a bad foot?

I wouldn't talk with them if they didn't hurt you and it was all your fault. You might feel better but does it matter if you're going to cbt anyway? It may only cause problems for them. Do you want them to miss you?

 

[trewer]

Personally, there are some specific people I would want to have a conversation with before I go. My ex is one as well.

 

[uglyzuko]

I wouldn't talk with them if they didn't hurt you and it was all your fault. You might feel better but does it matter if you're going to cbt anyway? It may only cause problems for them. Do you want them to miss you?

It's true it doesn't matter in the end since i'll die, but the same could be said for people who have a bucket list (i myself have one) of things they want to do before they die. it won't matter ultimately whether they do it or not since they'll be dead, but it's still something they want to do while they are here, for however finite time they have left.

I don't have a particular desire for them to miss me. it wasn't all of my fault (i didn't say anywhere in the post that it was anyone's fault, really).