Help Thoughts on My Jumping Spot?

[hikikomorizombie]

decided on my loc a while ago, an 11 story parking garage. 10 is the min height needed for a 98% fatality rate, i have OI Type 1 (brittle bone disease) to help, it takes 1.2 secs to fall that far, & i feel like if it was tooooo high i'd be too scared to do it. however the other week when i went to do a test run, i was repulsed by looking out @ the city. thinking abt hitting the filthy ground & my corpse being swarmed + gawked at by the equally filthy ppl here, made me nauseous. so now i have 2 options:

i've accepted the unpleasantries of kms. i'll always have the fear & will have to die feeling it, after my death i'm completely out of control re: how it's handled & talked about, i'm not gonna get the comfort of using my dream methods. then should i also just try to accept the above^?

or, i'm only a 4 hr drive from The Grand Canyon, & dying in nature>the city. but i don't have the $ to spend gas just to not do it. i was thinking maybe that'd help w me sticking w it, but i can also see myself just short circuiting & freaking out 4 hrs away from any1 to help, w no gas or $. not to mention TGC's breathtakingly tall, & like i said, if it's too tall i might get too scared. wdyt??

 

[Reuthry]

Firstly, I hope you find peace. I would say do you know the exact height of the 11th floor of the parking garage? I agree the disease make it more lethal but height really matters. And let's assume that you have jumped, are there people around that can instantly call an ambulance to "rescue" you? It's not always certain that your death will be instant and there is (unfortunately) a chance that you can end up disabled if someone calls an ambulance.

I don't know about The Great Canyon.

I also think that accepting the unpleasantness of the state of dying. I honestly also accepted the possibility of suffering.