Discussion Thoughts on having children

[Deleted-User-0]

The idea of bringing an innocent child to this world horrifies me... even the highest qualities of life are still low quality in a bigger picture hence I never became serious in any of my relationships ... my best friend died of cancer within 5-6 months and I witnessed what his mom went through ... there is an old saying "lucky ones are those never been born"

Are you an antinatalist?

I didn't even know "antinatalism" exists as an ideology up until a few months ago I guess that goes hand in hand with my belief on birth and procreation.

 

[_Minsk]

same.. could have written that..

 

[Despondent]

The thought on others having children doesn't horrify me. Knowing that one day they can experience mental health issues and world issues is what makes me worrisome. I guess I see them as two separate things even if I see how there might be a bit of a connection there.

I don't have kids but I respect the decision of others wanting to have children and having them because a desire to have a family is something that people feel. I'm leaning towards if you want children, it's your choice. When that child enters this world and they're at the age where they can make a rational decision, they can stay or go. It's all about choice.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

no i can barely take care of myself. my dogs are my children.

 

[FireFox]

I want to be sterilised in the future hopefully before i am 30.
There is so much evil in this world and i feel it is cruel to bring a child in a world full of suffering.

Life is really is not worth living. Yes there good things in this world but bad overrides the good.
The covid 19 pandemic has exposed how selfish people really are . The pandemic also shows are self centred and out of touch these celebrites are. When ellen said it is like being in jail .i was shocked. You cant make this up.

In the UK during the lockdown people were having parties, seeing friends when they were not supposed to and not taking seriously the rules.

After the goverment lifted the lockdown people started going crazy and went to the pubs. So many mass gatherings etc

It annoys me so much because they dont care about the lives lost .
Seeing people complain how bored they are angers me because peoples public safety and right to live is more important than having a pint in the pub.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

oh god ellen....

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I've always wanted children. Knowing my current situation, I'm glad I won't have any, even by adoption, which is what I had envisioned initially.

Although I am scared for the future they would encounter, I would see it as my task to equip them to deal with those challenges and to inspire and affect change in the world. But that was when I was hopeful. No hope left.

 

[Zappfe lover]

The thought on others having children doesn't horrify me. Knowing that one day they can experience mental health issues and world issues is what makes me worrisome. I guess I see them as two separate things even if I see how there might be a bit of a connection there.

I don't have kids but I respect the decision of others wanting to have children and having them because a desire to have a family is something that people feel. I'm leaning towards if you want children, it's your choice. When that child enters this world and they're at the age where they can make a rational decision, they can stay or go. It's all about choice.

It's not about choice, though. By having kids, you are the one making the choice for your unborn child.

 

[mrj]

From what ive read online so far antinatalists seem a bit too extrem to me, but i agree with them on a lot of general ideas.

Basically it comes down to: Why would anyone have a kid as long as there is the option to simply adopt ? I really disagree with the general notion of having kids being something super positive and so on.
having your own kids is a purely egoistic choice as far as i am concerned. You argue that everything people do is egoistic in some sense, but bringing something into existence is on a whole other level for me...

 

[Intheo]

More and more I'm convinced I never ever want to have kids. I'd get a vasectomy if it wasn't for the cost, recovery, and ineffectiveness of the procedure.

 

[Despondent]

It's not about choice, though. By having kids, you are the one making the choice for your unborn child.

It is about choice. What I meant is that it's the choice of the parents to conceive a child. When the child is born, the child doesn't have to be here if they don't wish to but of course, this is a decision that they can make. It's their choice. That doesn't mean it's fair that if a child doesn't want to be here that they'd have to ctb but it is their choice.

I don't in any way mean to come across as argumentative. In a way I'm defending people who want to have children because there are members here who have children. I support a persons choice to have kids and I support a persons choice to live or die.

Edit: I've seen two other threads similar to this one and I know that everyone has different views on this topic. I'm aware that most of you won't agree with what it is that I've said, and that's perfectly fine.

 

[Zappfe lover]

It is about choice. What I meant is that it's the choice of the parents to conceive a child. When the child is born, the child doesn't have to be here if they don't wish to but of course, this is a decision that they can make. It's their choice. That doesn't mean it's fair that if a child doesn't want to be here that they'd have to ctb but it is their choice.

I don't in any way mean to come across as argumentative. In a way I'm defending people who want to have children because there are members here who have children. I support a persons choice to have kids and I support a persons choice to live or die.

Edit: I've seen two other threads similar to this one and I know that everyone has different views on this topic. I'm aware that most of you won't agree with what it is that I've said, and that's perfectly alright.

Oh, you weren't argumentative at all. I'm just trying to discuss.

Yes, there are people here that have kids (and I feel bad talking about antinatalism with them for obvious reasons... they don't need extra pain), but it's not about them. It's abou the ones that still don't have kids.

You said that you support people's rights to reproduce. Why should said right exist?

 

[Vault of Memories]

I fear that I'll pass on my depression to them.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I decided when I was a kid that I would never bring a child into this world. Life's too cruel, the world too barbaric.

 

[Despondent]

Oh, you weren't argumentative at all. I'm just trying to discuss.

Yes, there are people here that have kids (and I feel bad talking about antinatalism with them for obvious reasons... they don't need extra pain), but it's not about them. It's abou the ones that still don't have kids.

You said that you support people's rights to reproduce. Why should said right exist?

Because everyone has the right to choice. No one should be convinced or encouraged to do or not do something. It's the same views and beliefs that I have here on the forum. That's the only thing that I can think of for why that right should exist. It's simply one's choice.

I do understand your stance though so I do respect that

 

[Zappfe lover]

No one should be convinced or encouraged to do or not do something.

What if the thing you are doing results in harming a third-party?

 

[Superdeterminist]

Currently I can't see myself having children because there's no viable exit in the (quite probable) event that they find their suffering too much to bear.

 

[Despondent]

What if the thing you are doing results in harming a third-party?

Do you mean by inflicting pain on others? I wasn't considering that when I made my statement. There are some things that a person clearly shouldn't do and one of them is hurting another person. When I said that, I wasn't condoning someone to have a "right" to harm or hurt someone because of "choice".

It is your choice to have children. It is your choice to be in a relationship. It is your choice to live or die. It is your choice to go to church.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I could never bring myself to have a child in this world. If I wanted to be a parent and was at a stage where I felt i could adequately support a child I would adopt.

 

[NoDream]

Oh, you weren't argumentative at all. I'm just trying to discuss.

Yes, there are people here that have kids (and I feel bad talking about antinatalism with them for obvious reasons... they don't need extra pain), but it's not about them. It's abou the ones that still don't have kids.

You said that you support people's rights to reproduce. Why should said right exist?

You can discuss Antinatalism with us who already have children.

I knew as a 13 yo that the world was overpopulated and didnt want to get kids. But i was too young to get a sterilization and the pills did not work.
Besides, when you have gone through puberty something happens with the brain, suddenly i wanted children

So i got two kids, and two abortions, then i was in the right age for sterilization, but as the society knew before, by then it was too late.

Now i was stuck with them, no help at all, not even from the fathers. The first one is diagnosed with severe ADHD and Borderline.
The second is Transsexual and have ADD, Autism and Dyslexia.

You can probably guess what the State thought about me as a single parent.
If you guessed they offered adequate help you guessed wrong.

Both me and my current husband has become Antinatalists.
We are trying our hardest to get the youngest one to sterilize, with the oldest its no use to argue, he have decided to go the other route and started getting kids at 15 yo :(

Having children was THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I ever made!!!!!!!!!

 

[Zappfe lover]

Do you mean by inflicting pain on others? I wasn't considering that when I made my statement. There are some things that a person clearly shouldn't do and one of them is hurting another person. When I said that, I wasn't condoning someone to have a "right" to harm or hurt someone because of "choice".

It is your choice to have children. It is your choice to be in a relationship. It is your choice to live or die. It is your choice to go to church.

My point is that, by having children, you are hurting another person.

You can discuss Antinatalism with us who already have children.

I knew as a 13 yo that the world was overpopulated and didnt want to get kids. But i was too young to get a sterilization and the pills did not work.
Besides, when you have gone through puberty something happens with the brain, suddenly i wanted children

So i got two kids, and two abortions, then i was in the right age for sterilization, but as the society knew before, by then it was too late.

Now i was stuck with them, no help at all, not even from the fathers. The first one is diagnosed with severe ADHD and Borderline.
The second is Transsexual and have ADD, Autism and Dyslexia.

You can probably guess what the State thought about me as a single parent.
If you guessed they offered adequate help you guessed wrong.

Both me and my current husband has become Antinatalists.
We are trying our hardest to get the youngest one to sterilize, with the oldest its no use to argue, he have decided to go the other route and started getting kids at 15 yo :(

Having children was THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I ever made!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry for everything you went through...

 

[Despondent]

My point is that, by having children, you are hurting another person.

I respect your stance.

 

[TAW122]

As an anti-natalist, I would not wish to have children. I do not believe bringing in new life into a world, let alone a shitty world that is today. One of the more long term consequences, even if said future being is conceived is that he/she could be become a pro-lifer and I'd rather not create new potential pro-lifers that would oppose pro-choice communities or make things worse for others.

 

[rhiino]

Because everyone has the right to choice. No one should be convinced or encouraged to do or not do something. It's the same views and beliefs that I have here on the forum. That's the only thing that I can think of for why that right should exist. It's simply one's choice.

That is a view adequate for distant past, but in a world heavily overpopulated and running into climate collapse it is not wise to let everybody get kids as they wish, knowing another human being is the biggest possible burden one can put on the planet.

 

[Starseedchip]

Ive been an antinatalist since I was a child. Even without depression life is ultimately mundane and pointless. My children will remain in the void.

 

[Nymph]

Totally feel you, I'm an antinatalist so I don't ever wanna have children. I don't even like children, all they do is vomit, shit and scream. When I see them they kinda make me feel disgusted. Giving birth is painful-carrying a baby for 9 months, weight gain, back problems, ripped private area or c section..then caring for it for 18+ years, so much wasted money- I mean the thought is just horrible. And just the fact that they might inherit my depression or that they end up suicidal like me is ugh

 

[Crazy Squirrel]

I've been an Anti-natalist since my elementary school days. I figured out pretty early that life is bad deal for everyone involved.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Let's not forget that from a biological, evolutionary standpoint, our primary goal in existence is to pass on our genetic material. Putting aside emotional attachments and societal expectations, it's still "natural" for us to want to have children.

Of course, there is so much to current human existence, that so many factors end up playing a role in our choice. That we as humans even feel enough freedom to have a choice is remarkable.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I am not bothered by it. Life is neither objectively bad or good, so I will just not have kids and others can do their own thing.

 

[color_me_gone]

From an early age I decided not to have children, and I followed through on that promise.
Somehow, the idea of passing along my genes seemed pointless to me.

I have no problem with others having children, as long as they're committed to loving them and taking good care of them. Sadly, I see so many parents violate that commitment, creating the need for this forum.

I did help raise two step children, which provided me a certain amount of satisfaction.