my SI goes into over drive at night. Im not sure why but it does. I felt pretty good today and it was a decent day but after what feels like and hour of video games, i cant help but feel empty and suicidal. Never fails to feel this way every night. I just feel this emptiness and boredem 24/7, in constant mental anguish but its so much worse at night. I think maybe i should CTB but idk if i can. Everytime i get on the road i just wish a car plows into me and kills me. I need a quick and painless death. Like i never knew what happened. end my missery.
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doomer843
Going down the happiness spiral š„°
- Mar 25, 2024
- 37
Same.. It would make sense if I was at work distracted or something all day but I just sit in my room and do the same thing day and night
It was always the same way for me, at least before antidepressants. I'd normally just take pills and sleep so I don't have to deal with SI at night
SueAsyde
contemporary witness
- Mar 11, 2023
- 17
Thank god i'm not the only one with this issue. It's so mentally torturing wanting to have some peace while the surroundings are quiet, which is why i stay awake late at night, but it's not quiet in my head. All of those thoughts rush. I should go to sleep but i also want to enjoy the peace of my environment at this time.
Literally 1 for 1 how I think. I just want to enjoy the peacefulness of the quiet night but my brain says "no"
Raindancer
Specialist
- Nov 4, 2023
- 323
I was going to write the exact same thing. I have always been a night owl and love the peace and quiet of the night. I am usually up most nights and love it. But the downside is it absolutely seems to intensify the thoughts and anxiety when they come. I don't know why it makes it worse.
anotherlastchance
Your never not you
- Feb 3, 2024
- 94
I drink beer before going to sleep this helps me finding comfort with SI thoughts
I can relate, being in a constant state of mental anguish is awful.
Whenever I go out in public I always wish a truck just runs me over
Whenever I go out in public I always wish a truck just runs me over
ilvgore
alien
- Jan 7, 2024
- 117
I kind of relate to you. The urge to suicide is more prevalent at a particular time. For me it is 10am to 4pm. It just feels like i wasnt being productive enough and it makes me wanna suicide so badly oh my gosh. At night or evening i am telling myself oh i can try again i was or am to tired and tomorrow is a new day. But the next day i have all these bad thoghts cause of yesterday and the pressure for today ._.
ThymeToLeave
Adventurer
- Dec 12, 2023
- 141
Have you heard of HALT? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These things make negative thoughts and feelings flare up.
