Thoughts about "seasonal depression"

[Elijahh]

I've been wondering if it's a thing this "seasonal depression".
I have had suicidal thoughts a lot and even since a was little. I have some periods where everything is going okay, and some were I just feel awful and want to ctb. When it's sunny days and summer vibes I noticed even though my suicidal thoughts were still here, mentally I was "normal" and am able to communicate with people and do my everyday life without seeming depressed and all.
Compared to some people here, it seems like I'm faking depression...

 

[Ash]

Nobody here can give you a proper diagnosis. It's worth keeping a diary or mood journal to look for patterns but you really need to speak to a psychiatrist (I believe) for a formal diagnosis and appropriate recovery plan.

ETA

1. You're not a fake

2. Seasonal affective disorder is totally real and makes people's lives a misery

3. Go and speak to your local doctor