I can't overcome the paranoia of failing, nor the survival instinct despite wanting to die. The mystery of the potential 'afterlife' is deterring. For those who genuinely made an attempt that nearly caused success, were you sober or what were you on? What was your attempt like? Thanks.
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NearlyIrrelevantCake
The Cake Is A Lie
- Aug 12, 2021
- 1,732
Sober, but in the midst of bipolar mixed episodes. The combination of suicidal depression and manic energy is a dangerous one.
Any attempts that I'd say were more serious I was sober. In fact, when I get drunk I'm usually less likely to do anything but self harm since alcohol makes me feel like doing things I enjoy or just crying. Not feeling like doing anything and dreading this dull, draining everyday life where I can't feel much of anything is more risky for me, I can't stand that. Perhaps if I was drunk all the time I'd have a different perspective on life.
