Those, who does not have precise plans regarding ctb - what makes you try to move on?

[fivebeyond]

It would be interesting to know if there is something or someone in your life that/who is preventing you from planning or implementing your ctb, despite how much you suffer.

In my case, it's my family (who try to do everything to make me happy, yet because of this I feel extremely guilty when ctb visits my mind), my dog, and the fact that I got accepted into university (where I went absolutely without enthusiasm to "study hard" and stuff like this. I just wanted to have at least some idea, of where to go and what to do.)

Please forgive me, if somewhere I expressed myself incorrectly. English is not my native language, and my thoughts are always pretty... entangled?

 

[AceVendetta7500]

Guilt towards family is the biggest barrier at this point. I also have some hope that my ex will come back but that is pretty fleeting at this point.

 

[Gangrel]

Family, partner, scared of death and the nothingness, curiosity of what happens next, fear of the pain, my dogs, fear of missing out.

 

[Terios]

The only thing I still think about is how my family will find me, I sure as hell dont want them to walk in on their only son hanging.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

1. My boyfriend - the only person in my life who has never betrayed me or forgotten about me, who is also severely depressed, passively suicidal and experienced a lot of trauma. I know my death would push him over the edge...

2. Not yet having explored all recovery options - I'll be trying saffron and rosemary supplements soon, inspired by another member here. Psychologist also recommended Ketamine so will see.

3. I was actively suicidal some months ago, super set on doing it, but apparently it was a chemical imbalance that got fixed with medication. I also spent 5 months having psychosis symptoms so now I'm afraid of trusting my judgement as I could have died that time for something that the meds have fixed.