Those of you who has attemted ctb beford, what made it fail and what happened after the attempt?

[Demian]

On 15/11/2023 I took 3 grams of morphine (12x the lethal dose) and 21 grams of phenobarbital (2x the lethal dose). I have no tolerance to these drugs or to any opioid or barbiturate.

I had read that in two minutes I would lose consciousness. So I got into the bathtub full of water, took all the pills quickly and waited to lose consciousness and drown.

But I panicked because about 10 minutes had passed and nothing had happened.

I was taken to hospital, where I remained in a Glasgow 3 coma for 15 days. By some miracle I survived without permanent sequelae.

My mistake was panicking.

 

[Multitude6369]

I've had three attempts. The first two were cutting my wrists and my neck. I missed the major arteries. The third attempt, I drank some barium chloride, but I was saved after 4 hours.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Method: Full suspension on a tree (hitch+slip knot)

Why it didn't worked: I couldn't fully compress my carotid (located behind my neck muscle), so I was just suffocating for a long minute before I instinctively and hardly managed to free myself while in the air, like a dumass alone in the woods at night.

Aftermath: throat + neck pain for a month + feeling like a failure cuz i couldn't kmslf

The carotid artery is located in the front and slight right side of the neck. In order to apply pressure on this artery one should place the noose knot on the opposite side of the neck, behind the left ear. When I will hang I will protect my neck with a neck warmer, I will grease the rope so it slides easier and when I drop off, I will not just ease down but drop 20 cm or so, so the rope tightens properly.

Hopefully I won't chicken out as @Malaria, although I'm not sure, I'm not a brave person. I guess we'll see.

 

[noctilucent]

Lack of planning and research. I was sent to the ward each time.

Used Advil and Tylenol the first three times, which shows I didn't know what I was doing by itself. Got sent to the ward each time.

Funnily enough, despite how painful people claim Tylenol deaths are, I think I must have some sort of high tolerance, because on the second attempt I actually got away with it at first. Took at least 25 pills, extra strength, and there was seriously no effects. It's been years and I still wonder what the fuck happened there. Told a therapist about it a week later due to the frustration, and then got sent to the ward anyway.

The third and most recent attempt was actually working, but the guilt kicked in eventually and was more overwhelming than the pain, so I called for help. Had to be hospitalized in the medical ward for 3 days, then 3 days in the psych ward. After seeing just how expensive that failure was in terms of medical bills, that's when I decided to plan ahead and do my research before attempting again. That's how I found SS, and here I am. I'll make sure to do it away from home next time too, so that the guilt of being discovered doesn't make me chicken out.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Just curious tbh. Could be useful for knowing what not to do when I decide to attempt also.

I've attempted many times, they all failed either bc of backing up or alerting someone due to SI or because I did pathetic impulse attempts that wouldn't have killed me anyways. Never actually had any attempts that could've succeeded though. Never did it properly before tbh, I just went with the easiest thing I thought "could" kill me. I've learned since though so now I've planned it properly. Now I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready to go tbh.

I took a ton of acetaminophen. I remember I took a deadly amount of it. I did a lot of research, and I knew it would take me three days to die. Just 20 minutes after ingesting, my SI kicked in, and I told my dad. I knew if I waited 8 hours for it to sit in my body, the antidote wouldn't work, and then I'd have to watch my organs slowly shut down or if I would live after the antidote wouldn't work, I'd need an organ transplant. Yeah, I freaked out and just gave in. Another time, I tried to get sodium nitrite, but my family noticed the substances at the door and threw it away. They didn't know it was me who bought it, so they were trying to get a refund lol. If the sodium nitrite didn't get caught, I would probably not be here right now because the effects are really fast.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Partial- nearly successful, passed out multiple times and would wake up standing up, then try again. Failed after about 10 times of this when the pressure in my head was so painful my body wouldn't let me lean into the rope again and I called for help. Ended up in the hospital, got medically cleared, then went to the psych ward.

Drowning/hypothermia- went into a river and over a dam in the winter, thinking going over the dam would pull me under the current. It did not, my body swam harder than I knew was possible. Then I laid there waiting for hypothermia to set in and it didn't. So I walked up and a pedestrian saw me, bright red, drenched, and in summer clothes in winter weather, and called for help. Ended up in the hospital, physically fine but smelled like a river, then went home.

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

All of my smaller or near attempts were failed due to SI or being small impulse attempts that I didn't put any thought into.

Did you want your boyfriend to call for help?
Or were you saying goodbye? 9 months in a psych ward must have been pure hell. Would you use SN again? What did that feel like?

 

[CypherB]

Once I almost sent myself to the ER with my SN. You can find the story on a thread I made some time ago in my profile if you want.

After that I tried with SN but after that accident I got really scared and I didn't go all the way through and got rid of my sn.

Right now I'm not suicidal or anything like that but I can assure you that if you try to go through with it even if you think you have made up your mind, trust me, you haven't.

 

[Softwind]

I tried OD'ing. Even tho I took a bunch of meds (I made some a sort of lethal cocktail), I didn't know how lethal they were, I did it on impulse and my parents noticed all the missing meds and called an ambulance. After that, I stayed in a mental hospital for about a month.

Basically I failed because I didn't research anything and did it on impulse.
(Also I didn't manage to drink all of my mixture; the taste was awful and I was nearly vomiting)

 

[Battered_Seoul]

I've had three attempts. The first two were cutting my wrists and my neck. I missed the major arteries. The third attempt, I drank some barium chloride, but I was saved after 4 hours.

If you don't mind me asking, how unpleasant was the Barium Chloride experience?

 

[PINKIESISU]

On 15/11/2023 I took 3 grams of morphine (12x the lethal dose) and 21 grams of phenobarbital (2x the lethal dose). I have no tolerance to these drugs or to any opioid or barbiturate.

I had read that in two minutes I would lose consciousness. So I got into the bathtub full of water, took all the pills quickly and waited to lose consciousness and drown.

But I panicked because about 10 minutes had passed and nothing had happened.

I was taken to hospital, where I remained in a Glasgow 3 coma for 15 days. By some miracle I survived without permanent sequelae.

My mistake was panicking.

To God damn durable most people would brag about such shit I hate it I want nothing more than to leave this experience going to my real self in my real life

 

[LunarGirl]

A few years back I tried partial hanging. I think it was working and my vision started blacking out, but my SI took over and undid the belt. Next time I attempt, I intend it to work. I am going for a better method (inert gas or SN, depending on what I can find) and I will probably take something to numb my nerves.

 

[poilala1]

I desperately jumped from a seven story building but with my feet first which saved me. Don't remember the fall except going over the ledge. I woke up in a hospital bed with broken bones that have healed rather well by now.

 

[Felodese]

Didn't do enough research and thought a regular tank of helium + exit bag would be the perfect way to do it. Fuck all happened. Except me feeling like the bigest failure of a pathetic loser ever...

 

[alltoomuch2]

Impulsive attempts failed due to p*** poor preparation. Two planned due to equipment/user failure. One because I freaked out and rang a friend. Wish I hadn't as we no longer seem to be friends.

yeah I've noticed how friends disappear when you're in real trouble. Just done a cull on facebook myself.

took an overdose and was found by my mother unconscious who rang an ambulance i went into a coma for 2 days i was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and had to stay in the psych ward for 6 months

Can I ask what drugs you used for the overdose?

Lack of planning and research. I was sent to the ward each time.

Used Advil and Tylenol the first three times, which shows I didn't know what I was doing by itself. Got sent to the ward each time.

Funnily enough, despite how painful people claim Tylenol deaths are, I think I must have some sort of high tolerance, because on the second attempt I actually got away with it at first. Took at least 25 pills, extra strength, and there was seriously no effects. It's been years and I still wonder what the fuck happened there. Told a therapist about it a week later due to the frustration, and then got sent to the ward anyway.

The third and most recent attempt was actually working, but the guilt kicked in eventually and was more overwhelming than the pain, so I called for help. Had to be hospitalized in the medical ward for 3 days, then 3 days in the psych ward. After seeing just how expensive that failure was in terms of medical bills, that's when I decided to plan ahead and do my research before attempting again. That's how I found SS, and here I am. I'll make sure to do it away from home next time too, so that the guilt of being discovered doesn't make me chicken out.

what did you use for the third attempt if you don't miind sharing that?