Those of you who has attemted ctb beford, what made it fail and what happened after the attempt?

[Silent_cries]

Just curious tbh. Could be useful for knowing what not to do when I decide to attempt also.

I've attempted many times, they all failed either bc of backing up or alerting someone due to SI or because I did pathetic impulse attempts that wouldn't have killed me anyways. Never actually had any attempts that could've succeeded though. Never did it properly before tbh, I just went with the easiest thing I thought "could" kill me. I've learned since though so now I've planned it properly. Now I'm just waiting for the day I'm ready to go tbh.

 

[Darkover]

took an overdose and was found by my mother unconscious who rang an ambulance i went into a coma for 2 days i was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and had to stay in the psych ward for 6 months

 

[Silent_cries]

took an overdose and was found by my mother unconscious who rang an ambulance i went into a coma for 2 days i was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and had to stay in the psych ward for 6 months

Damn, that must have been awful! 6 months for just a suicide attempt? What kind of nonesense is that? Damn!

 

[iloverachel]

Not sure if this counts as an attempt but on many occasions I took very large amount of mdma mainly because it felt good. I didn't plan to die but I took more and more and didn't care if I overdosed
Sadly I survived mainly due to having very high tolerance and not much happened over than a bad comedown that lasted days

 

[Silent_cries]

Not sure if this counts as an attempt but on many occasions I took very large amount of mdma mainly because it felt good. I didn't plan to die but I took more and more and didn't care if I overdosed
Sadly I survived mainly due to having very high tolerance and not much happened over than a bad comedown that lasted days

I mean, yeah, if you did hope you would die I'd say it counts. I've done the same thing but with strangling myself, not intending to die but hoping I would. Nothing would rly happen though besides getting a mark on my neck from the ligature and some shortness of breath and maybe a bit of a cough afterwards. It's been a while since I've sh-ed with strangling though and that's probably for the best honestly.

 

[Ash]

Impulsive attempts failed due to p*** poor preparation. Two planned due to equipment/user failure. One because I freaked out and rang a friend. Wish I hadn't as we no longer seem to be friends.

 

[charging station]

took an overdose and was found by my mother unconscious who rang an ambulance i went into a coma for 2 days i was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and had to stay in the psych ward for 6 months

Wow, why were you kept in there for so long mate?

 

[Darkover]

Wow, why were you kept in there for so long mate?

because I had to try different medications for my supposed mental illness which is diagnosed schizophrenia they put me on a community treatment order when i came out after 6 months not on it anymore though

 

[willitpass]

Partial- nearly successful, passed out multiple times and would wake up standing up, then try again. Failed after about 10 times of this when the pressure in my head was so painful my body wouldn't let me lean into the rope again and I called for help. Ended up in the hospital, got medically cleared, then went to the psych ward.

Drowning/hypothermia- went into a river and over a dam in the winter, thinking going over the dam would pull me under the current. It did not, my body swam harder than I knew was possible. Then I laid there waiting for hypothermia to set in and it didn't. So I walked up and a pedestrian saw me, bright red, drenched, and in summer clothes in winter weather, and called for help. Ended up in the hospital, physically fine but smelled like a river, then went home.

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

All of my smaller or near attempts were failed due to SI or being small impulse attempts that I didn't put any thought into.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Tried cutting an artery but the knife was too dull so it didn't so shit. I troed overdosing twice on hydroxzine. The first time nothing happened so I just went to school. The second time, I did feel some side effects but after waiting for a few hours I realized that it wasn't going to work. I tried getting ready for school but the side effects had become so bad that I was unable to push through it and I eventually had to call my mom and I was taken to the hospital. I then went to a different hospital the next day and was then transferred to another hospital to stay at this in-patient psych program for youths. I stayed there for a week, though the psychiatrist supposedly wanted me to stay for longer. Then there were my more recent hanging attempts, the first few of which failed because I used a belt. The rest failed because, while I did purchase a rope to be used for them, I was having a hard time with putting enough pressure on my cartoid artery, so I wasn't even able to pass out. Nobody knows about my more recent attempts yet.

 

[Darkover]

Did this happen in US? What was the reason they kept you in for so long?

No, i live in the UK England

 

[charging station]

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

Did this happen in US? What was the reason they kept you in for so long?

 

[Silent_cries]

Partial- nearly successful, passed out multiple times and would wake up standing up, then try again. Failed after about 10 times of this when the pressure in my head was so painful my body wouldn't let me lean into the rope again and I called for help. Ended up in the hospital, got medically cleared, then went to the psych ward.

Drowning/hypothermia- went into a river and over a dam in the winter, thinking going over the dam would pull me under the current. It did not, my body swam harder than I knew was possible. Then I laid there waiting for hypothermia to set in and it didn't. So I walked up and a pedestrian saw me, bright red, drenched, and in summer clothes in winter weather, and called for help. Ended up in the hospital, physically fine but smelled like a river, then went home.

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

All of my smaller or near attempts were failed due to SI or being small impulse attempts that I didn't put any thought into.

9 months??? Was it bc of your previous attempts that they kept there for that long? That's insanity! What's wrong with ppl? No one should ever be locked up for that long unless they're a danger to society or have severe psychosis and needs meds, or maybe if they have an ed, imo. It's not right!

 

[willitpass]

Did this happen in US? What was the reason they kept you in for so long?

Yes. I have a life long history of mental illness. This was my third serious attempt in 5 years, with many smaller ones in between. I had several hospitalisations under my belt already, including a 4 month long one. I'd already tried a laundry list of medications. I was in probably my 5th intensive outpatient therapy program at the time I attempted. I'd had shock therapy already. I had tried so many things that they weren't sure what to do with me but they knew I wasn't safe at home.

 

[bookgirl]

I overdosed, passed out, and woke up in the hospital. I don't remember anything else

 

[Darmok]

I am not sure if I am doing attempts or mere gestures. At my end, I either chicken out at the last minute, or I don't get the right mix of drugs in my system to enable death.

 

[Forveleth]

Tried to suffocate myself and use chloroform to handle the SI. Managed to get unconscious but woke up puking. Lots of smaller attempts over the years but that was the biggest/most recent. Pissed that I lived but it taught me I'm not afraid to die.

 

[AnonymousL]

I overdosed, passed out, and woke up in the hospital. I don't remember anything else

were you living with other ppl where u did the attempt?

 

[StillBreathing]

Not sure if this counts as an attempt but on many occasions I took very large amount of mdma mainly because it felt good. I didn't plan to die but I took more and more and didn't care if I overdosed
Sadly I survived mainly due to having very high tolerance and not much happened over than a bad comedown that lasted days

I did something similar over a period of a week with a cocktail of drugs. Increasing the dose of each every night. The plan was to megadose eventually. The last night I started dosing off way too much and struggled to breathe. I somehow ended up on the kitchen floor and had to talk to myself to stay conscious. It scared me and my mind was racing from all the drugs so I went to the ER and finally got admitted to a proper therapist and psychiatrist. The therapist has been helping me immensely, though I still suffer with suicidal idealizations.

This half hearted attempt had me feeling awful for a couple of months afterwards and I still have headaches. It surprised me how little the people in the ER cared once I arrived however. I was waiting by myself for hours in an incredible vulnerable state.

Edit: the woman on the phone (ER) was really kind and I wish she would still have been there once I arrived. Just talking to her on the phone helped me so much.

 

[bookgirl]

were you living with other ppl where u did the attempt?

I was lying in my bed in my apartment when I did it

 

[Kit1]

I am slusuallybdissociated when I try and come round at some point. However I have tried whilst being fully aware and it is SI - I really cannot to afford to end my life as I have children who I need to be here for. Having said that, I do have a date in the calendar though will most probably try to outlive the date.

Can you imagine all of us in this chat being given the job of interviewing future psychiatrists and mental health workers who want to apply for their jobs - panel interviews? Just a thought.

 

[CocoToxBase]

I had planned my hanging attempt for over two months. At 2 AM I left my home and drove for two hours to a forest. There, I ventured half an hour deep into the Forrest until I found a fallen tree overhanging a 20ft embankment, which seemed like the right spot for my intentions. I climbed the embankment and prepared my rope for a full suspension, unaware that back home, my disappearance had been discovered. My dad, unable to find me in the house and getting no answer on my phone due to no signal, knew to worry given my mental health history. He alerted the police, who prioritized the search for me and traced my car's movements to the forest's car park.

Meanwhile, oblivious to the police finding my car and starting their search through the Forrest, I proceeded with my plan. As I lowered myself down from the tree, survival instincts kicked in. I struggled to breathe, frantically scratching at my neck to loosen the noose as my sight faded to black, though I could still hear briefly before losing consciousness and that's the last thing I remember. My next memory is waking up in the hospital's ICU, panicked and disoriented with a tube down my throat which was very painful, until a nurse gently explained what had happened — that the police had found and saved me. They had used an AED to get my heart beating again after I was in cardiac arrest, a critical move given the ambulance's 30-minute arrival time. My heart had stopped again in the ambulance on route to the hospital, leading to me being intubated at the road side.

I have some damage to my brain from the lack of oxygen and however long I was in cardiac arrest for. I have trouble concentrating and my memory used to be amazing now it's horrendous. My neck was badly bruised and you could see my scratch marks from where I panicked. I could hardly speak not sure if it was from the intubation or the hanging. I sustained some injuries to the structure of my neck.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I have such respect for those of you who attempted! You are so brave! I hope I'll have the courage to take the step when the time comes. Right now I'm waiting for my chosen place to be free of humans. There were so many failed attempts and I really want to succed.

Partial- nearly successful, passed out multiple times and would wake up standing up, then try again. Failed after about 10 times of this when the pressure in my head was so painful my body wouldn't let me lean into the rope again and I called for help. Ended up in the hospital, got medically cleared, then went to the psych ward.

Drowning/hypothermia- went into a river and over a dam in the winter, thinking going over the dam would pull me under the current. It did not, my body swam harder than I knew was possible. Then I laid there waiting for hypothermia to set in and it didn't. So I walked up and a pedestrian saw me, bright red, drenched, and in summer clothes in winter weather, and called for help. Ended up in the hospital, physically fine but smelled like a river, then went home.

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

All of my smaller or near attempts were failed due to SI or being small impulse attempts that I didn't put any thought into.

Girl you are Iron! Psychologically - you have incredible will but physically - your body simply does not want to die. How the fuck do you not die after being in freezing water for minutes while wearing summer clothing!? And she says physically fine. Not a scratch eh?

I had planned my hanging attempt for over two months. At 2 AM I left my home and drove for two hours to a forest. There, I ventured half an hour deep into the Forrest until I found a fallen tree overhanging a 20ft embankment, which seemed like the right spot for my intentions. I climbed the embankment and prepared my rope for a full suspension, unaware that back home, my disappearance had been discovered. My dad, unable to find me in the house and getting no answer on my phone due to no signal, knew to worry given my mental health history. He alerted the police, who prioritized the search for me and traced my car's movements to the forest's car park.

Meanwhile, oblivious to the police finding my car and starting their search through the Forrest, I proceeded with my plan. As I lowered myself down from the tree, survival instincts kicked in. I struggled to breathe, frantically scratching at my neck to loosen the noose as my sight faded to black, though I could still hear briefly before losing consciousness and that's the last thing I remember. My next memory is waking up in the hospital's ICU, panicked and disoriented with a tube down my throat which was very painful, until a nurse gently explained what had happened — that the police had found and saved me. They had used an AED to get my heart beating again after I was in cardiac arrest, a critical move given the ambulance's 30-minute arrival time. My heart had stopped again in the ambulance on route to the hospital, leading to me being intubated at the road side.

I have some damage to my brain from the lack of oxygen and however long I was in cardiac arrest for. I have trouble concentrating and my memory used to be amazing now it's horrendous. My neck was badly bruised and you could see my scratch marks from where I panicked. I could hardly speak not sure if it was from the intubation or the hanging. I sustained some injuries to the structure of my neck.

I'm planning full suspension. Can you please tell me (for confimation) where did you place the knot? Was it behind the left ear? Can you also tell me how long did it take for you to lose consciousness? Was it seconds or minutes? Thank you kindly!

 

[willitpass]

Girl you are Iron! Psychologically - you have incredible will but physically - your body simply does not want to die. How the fuck do you not die after being in freezing water for minutes while wearing summer clothing!? And she says physically fine. Not a scratch eh?

I got a couple very superficial scratches. All three of these attempts I was told by doctors I was incredibly lucky. It's been four years since my SN attempt and I've done quite the number on my body since then. I have a feeling if I tried any of these now I would not survive.

 

[Kta1994]

Partial- nearly successful, passed out multiple times and would wake up standing up, then try again. Failed after about 10 times of this when the pressure in my head was so painful my body wouldn't let me lean into the rope again and I called for help. Ended up in the hospital, got medically cleared, then went to the psych ward.

Drowning/hypothermia- went into a river and over a dam in the winter, thinking going over the dam would pull me under the current. It did not, my body swam harder than I knew was possible. Then I laid there waiting for hypothermia to set in and it didn't. So I walked up and a pedestrian saw me, bright red, drenched, and in summer clothes in winter weather, and called for help. Ended up in the hospital, physically fine but smelled like a river, then went home.

SN- would have worked if I hadn't texted my boyfriend at the time "I'm dying" and him call for help. I needed CPR I got so close. Was intubated in the ICU for a few hours, pissed blue from the methylene blue for days, quickly was medically cleared and got shipped off to a psych ward for 9 months.

All of my smaller or near attempts were failed due to SI or being small impulse attempts that I didn't put any thought into.

Nine months? Thats terrible

 

[CocoToxBase]

I'm planning full suspension. Can you please tell me (for confimation) where did you place the knot? Was it behind the left ear? Can you also tell me how long did it take for you to lose consciousness? Was it seconds or minutes? Thank you kindly!

I placed the knot behind the right ear and as far up as I could go on my neck so just under the jaw. I used just a standard slip knot and the hangman's knot is for long drop judicial hangings. I could still breathe a little bit tbh but the main discomfort was the pressure I felt in my head as though my brain was going to pop. I'm not sure how quick I lost consciousness but it wasn't very long from what I can remember. It was actually a fairly peaceful experience except from the panic at first

 

[Blue Elephant]

I got a couple very superficial scratches. All three of these attempts I was told by doctors I was incredibly lucky. It's been four years since my SN attempt and I've done quite the number on my body since then. I have a feeling if I tried any of these now I would not survive.

Oh, you did get scratches! Pff .. I'm sorry but I'll have to take the Iron tag back now. : )

Hmm .. My Kendo sensei used to say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!". I have a feeling that you toughened up so much in these years that it might be impossible to off yourself now. I mean, you could try to shoot yourself but I'm guessing it's not worth it because you might end up with just a few scratches. Maybe if you find a tank and ask them politely to blow you app then you might be successful in your attempt. ; )

I placed the knot behind the right ear and as far up as I could go on my neck so just under the jaw. I used just a standard slip knot and the hangman's knot is for long drop judicial hangings. I could still breathe a little bit tbh but the main discomfort was the pressure I felt in my head as though my brain was going to pop. I'm not sure how quick I lost consciousness but it wasn't very long from what I can remember. It was actually a fairly peaceful experience except from the panic at first

As far as I know placing the knot behind the right ear applies pressure on the forward left blood vessel through which blood goes away from the brain, you felt pressure because blood could not leave the brain anymore. I intend to place the knot behind my left ear so pressure would be applied to the front right blood vessel through which blood flows to the brain. If done right this should cut the blood supply to my brain which should in turn cause unconsciousness in a matter of seconds.

Thank you for sharing this! It means a lot to me!

I'm happy that the experience was fairly peaceful to you! : )

 

[willitpass]

Oh, you did get scratches! Pff .. I'm sorry but I'll have to take the Iron tag back now. : )

Hmm .. My Kendo sensei used to say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!". I have a feeling that you toughened up so much in these years that it might be impossible to off yourself now. I mean, you could try to shoot yourself but I'm guessing it's not worth it because you might end up with just a few scratches. Maybe if you find a tank and ask them politely to blow you app then you might be successful in your attempt. ; )

I've severely self harmed with starvation, dehydration, and long term microoverdoses of drugs. Nowadays I have constant muscle and bone aches, frequent headaches, chronic fatigue, etc. I've been hospitalised for heart and lung issues. And I'm only in my early 20s. I've worn myself down.

 

[AshH]

Method: Full suspension on a tree (hitch+slip knot)

Why it didn't worked: I couldn't fully compress my carotid (located behind my neck muscle), so I was just suffocating for a long minute before I instinctively and hardly managed to free myself while in the air, like a dumass alone in the woods at night.

Aftermath: throat + neck pain for a month + feeling like a failure cuz i couldn't kmslf

 

[Malaria]

For the times I've tried to kill myself, I either chickened out, or someone stopped me while I was in the middle of doing it.