I had a similar feeling today. Not even the amount of threads, the stories, the good-byes;
Yet alone the number of online members is terrifying in a way.
I'm really glad this site exists, because I don't have to hide anything I feel. No one judges me. There are so many aspects and in real life I'm only told how irrational I am, that it doesn't make sense at all.
But SaSu was the first place where it was okay to be suicidal even with a good life. Or to be indecisive, not knowing exactly what I want.
What really upsets me is the fact, I wouldn't have known anything so specific about dying without this forum.
It's great to know, true - I don't have to experience all my failed attempts again through lack of knowledge.
But on the other hand the entire topic got so serious for me. I know, if I want to ctb, I will be able to. Then it's over.
I wish there was an option for a better life. And I wonder how many could have actually the chance but ctb'ed before they could take it?
And then there are so many lost souls, where you just feel how desperate they are and you can understand them...
Do you remember the "losers" in school? (Yes, I was one of them).
Some of which met during class times. Where all the "normals" wondered what they're doing but avoided them?
I feel like SaSu is the place of all of them. Where all these people meet... All these broken and hurt people who just try to find a place to belong to or find peace, no matter how it looks like in the end.