Venting This site became too mainstream and pro-life

[Aim]

this is important to address.

members are free to engage and express their disagreement as long as it is respectful, constructive, and productive enough to push the thread forward and lead to an actual discussion.

what will not be tolerated are people expressing their displeasure with another member's opinion with the aim of also putting them down. the reason they end up being deleted is because it leads to arguments and further division amongst members, derailing any sort of discussion and instead, results in flame wars.



and what causes that depression to begin with?

if i'm depressed and suicidal because of my living situation; being impoverished and socio-economically disadvantaged. is my pain and suffering not a reasonable reaction and rational human response to the material conditions around me?

say I'm sick then.

i am a broken sick person that needs to be treated. now what? will medication and therapy improve the living conditions which exacerbate my depression and suicidal ideation?

healthy minds do consider suicide, and that level of suffering is a natural reaction to horrible conditions that some of us cannot escape no matter how hard we try.

the reason I'm addressing this is because it's the very same thinking that has led many of us to this forum. not all of our problems can be reduced to something that can be diagnosed, medicated, and resolved just like that.

on the other hand, the pain and suffering that I feel is VERY REAL and not in my head.

Fair that everyone should be abel to have their own opinion. But this lady is literally hating and blaming people on this forum and the forum itself for not being suicidal enough! This is both non-constructive, non-beneficial and just not good at all.

 

[mortuarymary]

Just leave then.

 

[pole]

Fair that everyone should be abel to have their own opinion. But this lady is literally hating and blaming people on this forum and the forum itself for not being suicidal enough! This is both non-constructive, non-beneficial and just not good at all.

i get where you're coming from. in my initial response above, i addressed this about OP's post.

although it's an opinion, i believe reducing what you disagree with to simply being pro-life is blinding and blurs the line between both sides.

however, my response that you quoted is addressing the assumption that we restrict and shut down discussions from happening underneath these threads, not the post itself, which is an incorrect take.

instead of deleting replies entirely, we encourage discussions below these threads because it often times leads to a productive conversation amongst members and helps bridge gaps and informs our understanding about just how complex mental health and suicide discussions are.

we also do not prevent discussions below these threads because it shows those on the outside looking in, who cast the forum in a negative light, that we can disagree but accept a difference of opinion and engage in it constructively. it demonstrates that the forum isn't merely "pro-death" or "pro-life", the black and white way that fixers and those who hate the site make it out to be.

point of my second response is that staff members aren't restricting discussions from happening. deleting a reply is of last resort unless it clearly violates forum rules.

instead, moderators make edits and inform the user of any changes, rather than deleting replies as a whole, which would be shutting down a members' ability to voice their opposing viewpoint.

 

[Pipsqueak!]

I'm not pro life**, but I don't see a problem with recommending help. If someone tells me they're suicidal I'm not going to immediately tell them to jump off a cliff. Suicide is a very big decision and the whole point of this website is the ability to choose.

Whenever I read any of your posts it's always some variation of this. I don't believe this site is pro life.

It's weird how you complain about this site a lot and yet, you are one of the site's most active members. It's a little strange.

I'm not pro choice, but I don't see a problem with recommending help. If someone tells me they're suicidal I'm not going to immediately tell them to jump off a cliff. Suicide is a very big decision and the whole point of this website is the ability to choose.

Whenever I read any of your posts it's always some variation of this. I don't believe this site is pro life.

It's weird how you complain about this site a lot and yet, you are one of the site's most active members. It's a little strange.

I meant to say not pro life. Sorry, I am pro choice.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

Bullshit. This site is already closer to pro-death than it is to pro-choice

 

[Thanksforeverything]

Bullshit. This site is already closer to pro-death than it is to pro-choice

I would personally like to disagree with this statement. Except for a few bad actors, this site mostly helps people be aware of the consequences of their decisions. People like FC are not the majority, just someone clouted for no reason.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Man didn't think I'd see this gravy train

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Just a few of my thoughts... I didn't read every post.
I'm not always on here but it doesn't feel like it's overrun with prolifers. Mostly I post in the music threads any more.
I support ones decision either way. If someone wants to try to get better, I support them.
If they choose to end their life, I support that decision also.
I will tell them I will miss them. Sometimes I have mentioned, if they change their mind they are always welcome back.
There have been some instances where I've tried to get someone to reconsider because of the method they are planning to use. Like fireworks around their neck. (That really happened)

Anyway...

 

[Captive_Mind515]

It's exceptionally difficult to have a discussion on a FC thread as mods delete and protect the OP so much.

However I would say, if someone can post that all life sucks etc etc, then why can the flip not be true? We are pro choice, not pro death.

Suicide by its finality is a last resort by its very nature. The reality is that all suicide is caused by depression, however you frame it up. Healthy minds do not consider suicide as a rational option.

Luckily most do recover and suicide rates remain low for the most part.

For me, telling people how terrible life is, without direction to potential recovery just feels like encouragement and makes every doom and gloom.

I know people like me are beyond recovery, but I know many people in real and on here who have gone on to amazing recoveries. I accept that it cannot be true for me and I accept my fate that I will almost certainly die to suicide.

There's plenty of places outside this site, where you can tell people how wonderful life is and how much you love it. There is also a recovery section on this site too.

The suicide section is for people to openly express their difficulties in this life, without having toxic positivity forced on them.

And I'm sorry, but it is not true to say that all suicide is caused by depression or cannot be the product of a rational mind/thought processes. There are many highly rational and intelligent people on this site, who are considering ctb for a myriad of different reasons. You are oversimplifying a complex issue by making that statement.

And I also disagree that expressing your difficulties with life, and possibly even dislike/hatred of this life, is "doom and gloom" or "encouragement" etc… for some people it's just the honest reality of their existence. And this is the place where they should be allowed to express those honest viewpoints without fear of being shamed or talked down to…

If you find certain posters content too "doom & gloom"…. Then simply stop reading their posts or put them on ignore.

Death is a reality of life. And so talking about it - and even being positive about the prospect of it - is not unnatural or strange for many people around here.

 

[onbekend]

Just finished reading this thread and all I really have to say is wow. I did not expect to see a thread like this today.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

This site is more mainstream now than it used to be but please note that suicide related topics will always carry stigma so great that the mainstream can't integrate it into it's worldview. Note everything related to people dying - by others or their own hands - won't be acceptable in "polite society" as they say.

 

[groucho]

There is a delicate balance, I for one do not want to encourage or aid anyone else to commit suicide, but I value their and my choice. Life is not easy for many people and I don't judge or begrudge those buckling under it's weight. However if someone can get help and feel more at ease with life or even recover from whatever is causing their pain then I'm all for it, and that might be started by something as simple as another person on a forum showing them some compassion and care.

If this place became a death cult I'd be first in line to shut it down.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I would personally like to disagree with this statement. Except for a few bad actors, this site mostly helps people be aware of the consequences of their decisions. People like FC are not the majority, just someone clouted for no

Well your experience differs from mine. Ive been MOBBED by a BUNCH of people with NO-ONE standing up for me when I tried to help someone see that there was genuinely hope for them. Pro-death, cultist echo chambers at times.

 

[Twiceler]

There is a delicate balance, I for one do not want to encourage or aid anyone else to commit suicide, but I value their and my choice. Life is not easy for many people and I don't judge or begrudge those buckling under it's weight. However if someone can get help and feel more at ease with life or even recover from whatever is causing their pain then I'm all for it, and that might be started by something as simple as another person on a forum showing them some compassion and care.

If this place became a death cult I'd be first in line to shut it down.

Some people say it already is or always was a death cult. Good luck with balancing.

 

[groucho]

Some people say it already is or always was a death cult. Good luck with balancing.

I'd define that as active encouragement, or dissuading people from getting help when they say they are uncertain or want help.

I can see why people generally don't like the site and think it's unhealthy, and to some extent I agree having seen posts by teenager who haven't given life a chance.

 

[Adûnâi]

I'm pro-mortalist in theory, but consider encouraging suicide bad manners in practice. I'm trying to be polite.

 

[Pluto]

Unfortunately, suicide fetishism is a real thing. Some sick people may gain a sense of relief seeing others die. They might endlessly push an agenda to move the site's 'Overton window' in a more pro-death direction and may feel frustrated if a death is thwarted.

I'm not going to make any accusations against anyone in particular, but people are free to think for themselves and draw their own conclusions about who to view with suspicion.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Stop feeding the troll, ppl...
Every day there's a bait thread like this from this user

 

[Null Hypothesis]

 

[Dot]

I'd define that as active encouragement, or dissuading people from getting help when they say they are uncertain or want help.

I can see why people generally don't like the site and think it's unhealthy, and to some extent I agree having seen posts by teenager who haven't given life a chance.

Pls rport whn u C ths happnng

= ok fr ppl t/ shre thr own trmas abt xpernce wth psycholgsts bt ppl r nt permittd t/ try 2 influnce othrs decsns & prevnt ppl frm gttng hlp whch mght beneft thm

If tht knd of b-havr ws spportd thn slf wld nt b spendng tme workng hrd t/ mke recvry rsourcs as comprhnsve as thy r

 

[Aim]

i get where you're coming from. in my initial response above, i addressed this about OP's post.

although it's an opinion, i reducing what you disagree with to simply being pro-life is blinding and blurs the line between both sides.

however, my response that you quoted is addressing the assumption that we restrict and shut down discussions from happening underneath these threads, not the post itself, which is an incorrect take.

instead of deleting replies entirely, we encourage discussions below these threads because it often times leads to a productive conversation amongst members and helps bridge gaps and informs our understanding about just how complex mental health and suicide discussions are.

we also do not prevent discussions below these threads because it shows those on the outside looking in, who cast the forum in a negative light, that we can disagree but accept a difference of opinion and engage in it constructively. it demonstrates that the forum isn't merely "pro-death" or "pro-life", the black and white way that fixers and those who hate the site make it out to be.

point of my second response is that staff members aren't restricting discussions from happening. deleting a reply is of last resort unless it clearly violates forum rules.

instead, moderators make edits and inform the user of any changes, rather than deleting replies as a whole, which would be shutting down a members' ability to voice their opposing viewpoint.

i get where you're coming from. in my initial response above, i addressed this about OP's post.

although it's an opinion, i believe reducing what you disagree with to simply being pro-life is blinding and blurs the line between both sides.

however, my response that you quoted is addressing the assumption that we restrict and shut down discussions from happening underneath these threads, not the post itself, which is an incorrect take.

instead of deleting replies entirely, we encourage discussions below these threads because it often times leads to a productive conversation amongst members and helps bridge gaps and informs our understanding about just how complex mental health and suicide discussions are.

we also do not prevent discussions below these threads because it shows those on the outside looking in, who cast the forum in a negative light, that we can disagree but accept a difference of opinion and engage in it constructively. it demonstrates that the forum isn't merely "pro-death" or "pro-life", the black and white way that fixers and those who hate the site make it out to be.

point of my second response is that staff members aren't restricting discussions from happening. deleting a reply is of last resort unless it clearly violates forum rules.

instead, moderators make edits and inform the user of any changes, rather than deleting replies as a whole, which would be shutting down a members' ability to voice their opposing viewpoint.

Pls rport whn u C ths happnng

= ok fr ppl t/ shre thr own trmas abt xpernce wth psycholgsts bt ppl r nt permittd t/ try 2 influnce othrs decsns & prevnt ppl frm gttng hlp whch mght beneft thm

If tht knd of b-havr ws spportd thn slf wld nt b spendng tme workng hrd t/ mke recvry rsourcs as comprhnsve as thy r

This whole thread is actually an report on a user that is obviously breaking the rules. Your rules. There should be a line between people that is just stating an opinion compared to pulling the rasicm card on people that is for real struggling.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't feel like there are a lot of pro-lifers around here and pro-choice is a wide range of options we all have and we can make use of we we really want to (according to availability). For most living beings life isn't that bad, personal circumstances can be, but they also might not be that worse to press the exit button immediately.

 

[mortuarymary]

Man didn't think I'd see this gravy train

Well you just did lol

 

[exiled]

I am sure you are referring to a time where this website better served you. When perhaps it wasn't as well known and infiltrated with all types of opinions and comments. I can understand that once safe space feels invaded. However, factually, this site cannot be pro-life.

If this site were to be pro-life, it would cease to exist.I get that perception is everything but at the same time, your definition of pro-life is so skewed. "Why wouldn't you do it already if you want to die?" is not pro-life. It could be ignorant, but that is far from someone who is pro-suicide-prevention and actively telling you not to do it.

You seem to think this website is so awful and I am all for validating people in how they feel. I'm sure that you miss what this place provided for you but it seems to me you still get the most interactions on your posts and a lot of support from people. There will be oddballs everywhere, especially when you've leveled up to being notorious for your view points.

Overall, I feel that venting is always valid but this seems quite unfair. You've logged well over 30k+ comments here, perhaps if it is worsening your mental health, I would try and find a way to find that solace in something else, even within this site. Whether it's just connecting with members one on one that you feel agree with you, or forgoing the need to vocalize every controversial take so that you don't receive pushback.

There are plenty of solutions here to the issues you describe, and at the risk of sounding pro-life to you, I'd say you should definitely try those options.

 

[mortuarymary]

She either needs the naughty step or a ban. Sorry if that's brutal but that's how I feel

 

[rozeske]

I personally have found this site to have a perfect balance of providing help for those who want it and support and respect for decision of others that choose ctb. I believe had it been so pro-life there wouldn't be such backlash and threat from the outside.

Like fireworks around their neck. (That really happened)

Now you are making me reconsider my method of choice :)

 

[Chinaski]

If you find certain posters content too "doom & gloom"…. Then simply stop reading their posts or put them on ignore.

It's weird how you are saying this in relation to FuneralCry in a thread she started solely to "vent" about the forum content not being to her liking. Maybe those who have God Damn Prolifer Assholes living rent-free in their tiny heads should practice what they preach, idk

 

[mortuarymary]

It's weird how you are saying this in relation to FuneralCry in a thread she started solely to "vent" about the forum content not being to her liking. Maybe those who have God Damn Prolifer Assholes living rent-free in their tiny heads should practice what they preach, idk

I wish I was living rent free.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I support ones decision either way. If someone wants to try to get better, I support them.
If they choose to end their life, I support that decision also.
I will tell them I will miss them. Sometimes I have mentioned, if they change their mind they are always welcome back.

I couldn't have put my thoughts in words as succinctly as this. This forum is meant to be a place where people support an individual's rights. The right to take their life, or the right to keep on living. No one should fucking be here if you advocate against either of these.

 

[Dot]

This whole thread is actually an report on a user that is obviously breaking the rules. Your rules. There should be a line between people that is just stating an opinion compared to pulling the rasicm card on people that is for real struggling.

Ok

Mod alwys attmptd t/ b as fair & objectve 2 all usrs withn own limtatns of b-ing humn

Ths oftn incldes allowng freedm of opinns tht othr membrs mght nt agree wth - agn as lng as thy r nt discrmn8try & h8-spch etc

U sy tht ths thred brks rles - as an honst questn in gd faith - whch rles d/ u fl r b-ing brokn hre

Commn accusatns tht mods recive inclde censrng ppl wh/ r critcl of th/ ste or of admn - tht = clearly nt happnng hre

Also accusatns of protctng membrs ovr othrs - agn ths usr recntly postd thr frstratns of havng a recnt thred of thrs deletd bcse = ws cnsidrd problmatc

Also kp in mnd tht warnngs tht membrs mght or mght nt recve r nt publicsd

mods alwys refr t/ th/ rles in ordr t/ sty as objectve as pssble & dscss issus as a team - whch = Y slf ask whch rles u belive r b-ing brokn if a usr = ventng abt thr opinns of thr xpernce of th/ ste

Answrs t/ ths questn wll b takn in2 gnuine cnsidratn & u cn alwys snd a d.m if u prefr