Discussion This place has changed me forever

[bluefeather177]

Does anyone else kind of feel permanently altered after being a part of this forum? I've been suicidal long before browsing here but my opinions on suicide have certainly changed a lot.

I have friends who are suicidal and one in particular who I've broached the topic with pretty extensively at times but it's really bizarre existing in a world that largely views suicide as nothing but a horrible tragedy that should be avoided at all costs. Maybe I'm just big on free will or whatever but I think it's crazy that people shouldn't be allowed to choose to exit this world when they had no choice to be brought into it.

I wouldn't even consider myself fully anti-natalist like a lot of people here, as I don't think human existence should end as a whole or bringing someone into existence is inherently cruel, but it just feels really odd that my stance is so different from the average person. I had a conversation with a friend once joking that we should bring back consensual duels in the States and he argued that suicidal religious people would use it as a way to die without having to commit the act themselves. I laughed, said there are a lot easier ways for people to recklessly die and mentioned that I probably have different views on suicide than most people.

He proceeded to grill me, asking if I have lost someone to suicide or not, telling me it isn't fair for me to comment on it because I don't know what it's like. Nothing like a pro lifer only considering other people instead of the suicidal person wanting to die in the first place, right?

Maybe one day this place will finally help cure my crippling fear of death and I will finally ctb if my life hasn't improved by then

 

[Forveleth]

This place has not changed my view on suicide but I have found, for the first time, other people who have the same views on suicide as I. It has been nice to find people who understand what it is like to truly, genuinely do not want to live anymore. I have also learned about other views of death and dying (or even other topics) that I had never heard previously. I enjoy learning about different beliefs/ opinions/ views, even if I do not agree with them (and even if I am occasionally a bit feisty about it).

 

[InevitableDeath]

Pain tends to make people more thoughtful, or dead.

I don't think I know any good people who haven't suffered in some major way.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's really difficult to know to be honest because, I've been here so long in terms of years now but, also time spent. It's become such a valued space for me. I don't quite know how I would have survived without it.

All my ideas were formed before joining though. They haven't changed although, maybe have become more justified in my mind. Because, suddenly there's a space we can express them without being leaped upon.

When I was younger and saw family, I remember saying how much I valued conversation. Now, our views are so different, I suspect it would lead to upset and arguments so- it's just a relief I suppose- to be able to talk about certain subjects somewhere without upsetting people.

I've definitely become increasingly negative, anti-natilist and suicidal but, I think that likely would have happened anyway. Just that I'd have nowhere to vent about it all.

I'm lucky in that I don't suffer with feeling lonely much but- without the forum, I suspect that I might actually. It is this portal to somewhere I can actually be myself and still be (virtually) sociable.

 

[tonicer]

For me this site taught me the most important thing to me, which is simply "I am not alone". I view life different now thanks to this website and the people here. I'm still deeply depressed but i also have some hope for the future. My anchor technique also helps me with more and more anchors i discover that help me stay alive because as much as i want to die i also want to live as weird as that may sound. I have never traveled outside of my country except one family trip to Italy and one to France. There are places i want to see and a specific type of wildlife i want to experience first hand.

I don't think I know any good people who haven't suffered in some major way.

I read Nietzsche a while ago and IIRC he had some form of "brain fever" and he wrote that during his time of illness he learned more about himself than in all the previous years.

 

[kuroshimi]

I can say that this place has changed my attitude towards suicide and it became normal to me (?)

I occasionally talked about the topic with some of my friends, but it was more like a cry for help (since I have long been depressed and suicidal as well) and they try to support me. It was helpful. I thought that suicide is a tragedy, but I still didn't thought that you should avoid it. Where it comes to attempts, a person has literally no willpower for anything.

But now I similarly think that it's crazy that people can't simply leave. I don't know, something clicked inside me when I found this place, I guess.

 

[tonicer]

I can say that this place has changed my attitude towards suicide and it became normal to me (?)

I occasionally talked about the topic with some of my friends, but it was more like a cry for help (since I have long been depressed and suicidal as well) and they try to support me. It was helpful. I thought that suicide is a tragedy, but I still didn't thought that you should avoid it. Where it comes to attempts, a person has literally no willpower for anything.

But now I similarly think that it's crazy that people can't simply leave. I don't know, something clicked inside me when I found this place, I guess.

Wow you have friends? Do you meet with them or are they just online friends?

 

[kuroshimi]

Wow you have friends? Do you meet with them or are they just online friends?

I met one after we both get to the university, that was somewhat surreal? I knew him since 2017 and we first met in 2023, but most of the time he is just online friend.