This may be goodbye

[takemenowpls]

I am hesitant to post this but I feel I should just to be on the safe side. This is not clickbait. Today afforded me even more terrible things when I thought maybe it would slow down. Nope, I awoke to news that I still can not believe. A few of you may know I was gathering everything to ctb via SN. One kind person even helped me locate the right stuff. But I fear I can not wait till it and the other required parts arrive.

Previously I considered partial hanging. So I went on the garage for the rope and tied a slip knot. I live alone in a big house with an upstairs. I tired the rope onto one of the banisters and lowered it down. First try it was perfect height…. I put my head in the rope and put it around the Adam's apple. As instructed I made sure it was hitting the carotid arteries. I began to push down and hold for just a second. I was out a couple seconds later. It works, And the knots didn't slip.

I finished 3 goodbye notes on my phone and printed them out. Now I'm just sitting dwelling on it. Waiting for that impulse to hit. If it does I won't be back. If I go I wanted to thank you all for being here when I needed help. Thank you all so very much. I wish you all peace in whatever direction you travel.

Sincerely

 

[wljourney]

I am so very sorry to read this, but I understand how much pain you are in.
Take your time. Sit with it. If you do decide to go then know that you will be missed and remembered.
And if you don't we will welcome you back with open arms.
Many of us know the struggle of finding the right time.
Sending hugs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's so awful when life gets worse. None of us here should have to endure all this pain. I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

 

[theboy]

Take some time to ponder your decision. I hope you find the light in your life to continue living.
Hugs

 

[takemenowpls]

It works that's all I know. I keep looking at it. Waiting for a friend to call me so I can give him some final wishes. He knows my intentions and would never call anyone.

 

[anxiety cat]

I am so sorry It's come to this and the pain you have to endure. I hope you find peace

 

[takemenowpls]

I just met with a friend. We said goodbye and I gave him my final wishes. Now the clock ticks as I have everything in place to finally be at peace. I'm scared but SI is low. We'll see

 

[MidnightDream]

I'm so sorry lovely. We're all here with you and will support you in whatever you choose to do.

 

[Maríasp]

if you're not sure don't do it

 

[Hope:-)]

Lots of love to you xxx

 

[Popcornmew]

I know how it feels. Sending love

 

[Dead Meat]

Sending you Lot's of Love you Beautiful Soul

 

[Nirrend]

I'm so sorry, I'm late...

I'm really sad to see you go @takemenowpls ..

I really loved you <3

I only wish you peace friend, may we meet up together up there <3

I'm coming soon, I swear <3

May you find peace my friend

 

[wljourney]

I just met with a friend. We said goodbye and I gave him my final wishes. Now the clock ticks as I have everything in place to finally be at peace. I'm scared but SI is low. We'll see

I'm so glad you have a supportive friend who understands your pain and respects your wishes.
We will catch up later. Whichever way.

 

[takemenowpls]

Thank you all for your kinds words and wishes. Small update:

I've "tried on" the rope several times now. I think I have passing out spot on. The rope is thick so it seems to help hitting the arteries. The knot is behind the neck and rope positioned under the Adam's apple. I've been looking at every thread I can just to be sure I don't mess up. I think people fail with partial because they use chairs, door knobs or whatever else available. I have the luxury of good space and no one around to save me. Hope this helps anyone who's trying the partial method.
But I've decided to get one last night of sleep in my bed, It's my safe place. One more night with my dogs next to me. Tomorrow I will undoubtably feel the same and nothing will get better. I left the rope in place and it calls to me. Thank you all again.

Nirrend - I <3 you too

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[Everlong]

Not to be morbid, but I remember a story a couple years back in Philadelphia where first responders had to do a well check on an older gentleman. He hadn't been heard from in days. They don't know how long he was dead before they found him. But apparently long enough for the dogs to get hungry. Really hungry. If you live alone, you might make sure the dogs have food/water and left outside. That would be disastrous for a love one to walk into.
Sorry for the buzzkill. I'm a lot of fun at parties.
Best wishes whichever you choose and I hope it was the best sleep of your life.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you peace if you go through with this.
(My bed is my safe place too)

 

[thebunny]

i wish you a peaceful journey ahead! see you on the other side, buddy. rest easy

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Sending you love. Please try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You are the only one who can decide when the time is right, if it ever is.
You know you have our love and support no matter what decisions you make.
All that matters is what is right for you.

 

[Zegers]

(what a great shot of rope) whatever you decide I wish you good luck

 

[virgilwalks]

If you change your mind it's okay. We are here for you.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Thank you all for your kinds words and wishes. Small update:

I've "tried on" the rope several times now. I think I have passing out spot on. The rope is thick so it seems to help hitting the arteries. The knot is behind the neck and rope positioned under the Adam's apple. I've been looking at every thread I can just to be sure I don't mess up. I think people fail with partial because they use chairs, door knobs or whatever else available. I have the luxury of good space and no one around to save me. Hope this helps anyone who's trying the partial method.
But I've decided to get one last night of sleep in my bed, It's my safe place. One more night with my dogs next to me. Tomorrow I will undoubtably feel the same and nothing will get better. I left the rope in place and it calls to me. Thank you all again.

Nirrend - I <3 you too

Make sure your dogs don't starve to death

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this dark place. I hope you are able to make peace with your decision- whatever that may be.

 

[Hollowillow]

I am hesitant to post this but I feel I should just to be on the safe side. This is not clickbait. Today afforded me even more terrible things when I thought maybe it would slow down. Nope, I awoke to news that I still can not believe. A few of you may know I was gathering everything to ctb via SN. One kind person even helped me locate the right stuff. But I fear I can not wait till it and the other required parts arrive.

Previously I considered partial hanging. So I went on the garage for the rope and tied a slip knot. I live alone in a big house with an upstairs. I tired the rope onto one of the banisters and lowered it down. First try it was perfect height…. I put my head in the rope and put it around the Adam's apple. As instructed I made sure it was hitting the carotid arteries. I began to push down and hold for just a second. I was out a couple seconds later. It works, And the knots didn't slip.

I finished 3 goodbye notes on my phone and printed them out. Now I'm just sitting dwelling on it. Waiting for that impulse to hit. If it does I won't be back. If I go I wanted to thank you all for being here when I needed help. Thank you all so very much. I wish you all peace in whatever direction you travel.

Sincerely

I'm into partial as well. You passed out but woke up? I hope you won't when you'll be ready, I wish you the fluffiest peace. Like a cumulus cloud.

 

[Eternal_Darkness]

I wish you a safe journey

 

[Hollowillow]

It works that's all I know. I keep looking at it. Waiting for a friend to call me so I can give him some final wishes. He knows my intentions and would never call anyone.

View attachment 98100

Hangman knot? I thought I had to do a slipknot? Not judging, I need to learn. I'm doing partial, is it for a full hanging? The rope looks silky. I hope it will be quick.

Thank you all for your kinds words and wishes. Small update:

I've "tried on" the rope several times now. I think I have passing out spot on. The rope is thick so it seems to help hitting the arteries. The knot is behind the neck and rope positioned under the Adam's apple. I've been looking at every thread I can just to be sure I don't mess up. I think people fail with partial because they use chairs, door knobs or whatever else available. I have the luxury of good space and no one around to save me. Hope this helps anyone who's trying the partial method.
But I've decided to get one last night of sleep in my bed, It's my safe place. One more night with my dogs next to me. Tomorrow I will undoubtably feel the same and nothing will get better. I left the rope in place and it calls to me. Thank you all again.

Nirrend - I <3 you too

What is wrong with chairs (didn't robin williams used one?) And door knob? (I have a sating bathrobe belt tied to one) How do I do it then... I expect someone else to answer though... Unless you're ok to teach before you go. Sweet dreams

Not to be morbid, but I remember a story a couple years back in Philadelphia where first responders had to do a well check on an older gentleman. He hadn't been heard from in days. They don't know how long he was dead before they found him. But apparently long enough for the dogs to get hungry. Really hungry. If you live alone, you might make sure the dogs have food/water and left outside. That would be disastrous for a love one to walk into.
Sorry for the buzzkill. I'm a lot of fun at parties.
Best wishes whichever you choose and I hope it was the best sleep of your life.

I was also sad for the doggies but didn't dare to mention it. I like minds who can do worst case scenarios, it takes a lot of courage. He has a friend who knows his plan who won't tell. I guess he'll come say "hi" after the deed. Hopefully pretending not to know so the cops won't give him crap. I'm glad that he has a good friend.

 

[jodes2]

I wish you peace buddy

 

[Shivali]

 

[Nirrend]

Thank you all for your kinds words and wishes. Small update:

I've "tried on" the rope several times now. I think I have passing out spot on. The rope is thick so it seems to help hitting the arteries. The knot is behind the neck and rope positioned under the Adam's apple. I've been looking at every thread I can just to be sure I don't mess up. I think people fail with partial because they use chairs, door knobs or whatever else available. I have the luxury of good space and no one around to save me. Hope this helps anyone who's trying the partial method.
But I've decided to get one last night of sleep in my bed, It's my safe place. One more night with my dogs next to me. Tomorrow I will undoubtably feel the same and nothing will get better. I left the rope in place and it calls to me. Thank you all again.

Nirrend - I <3 you too

Feeling so devastated reading you right now..

So sad we couldn"t talk earlier my friend

I sincerely hope that you are sure and in peace with your choice..

If you want some company, you know that you can find me <3

The only problem is, I can't connect to Ss all the time.. I hope that I'll see your message in time..

I wish you peace now <3 Save me a seat up there, I'll be late but I'll be here <3