This is why I am here

[Stuckonearth]

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old female living in the U.K. and I'm here because I am in a lot of pain. My membership was accepted a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to post. I still can't contain my self but the best way to describe my feelings will be to say I honestly feel like I am in hell. Now I know that I'm not exactly in Syria or another war zone but I feel broken. Everyday, I wake up and I pick myself apart and I am overwhelmed with thoughts asking myself why am here ?? Why can I not give someone else my life? Why do I not have the foresight to know that people don't care and only use me but I still try and make an effort to meet new people.


As I type this I am in tears. Even with Corona and London basically being empty I actually don't feel the fear others are feeling. It's like I'm being punished and I don't know how to cope. I've taken so many meds,been to a mental hospital don't therapy's and here I am . I'm so sorry if I don't make any sense. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words.

 

[Brink]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this place and thank you for sharing. You are not alone and I can relate. If you post a few more messages you'll be able to send a PM - for as long as I'm here my PM's are always open. x

 

[BlackPoppet]

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old female living in the U.K. and I'm here because I am in a lot of pain. My membership was accepted a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to post. I still can't contain my self but the best way to describe my feelings will be to say I honestly feel like I am in hell. Now I know that I'm not exactly in Syria or another war zone but I feel broken. Everyday, I wake up and I pick myself apart and I am overwhelmed with thoughts asking myself why am here ?? Why can I not give someone else my life? Why do I not have the foresight to know that people don't care and only use me but I still try and make an effort to meet new people.


As I type this I am in tears. Even with Corona and London basically being empty I a ctually don't feel the fear others are feeling. It's like I'm being punished and I don't know how to cope. I've taken so many meds,been to a mental hospital don't therapy's and here I am . I'm so sorry if I don't make any sense. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words

I'm in London too. PM me if you need a caring ear. Hugs.

 

[bpdandme]

It is scary posting here first time so well done on finding the courage, everyone is super welcoming and supportive. It's so strange from feeling misunderstood in society to see so many posts that's I resonate with here, I definitely feel heard.

It's so draining struggling with mental health please feel free to PM if you wanna vent anytime!

 

[Blu_1]

@Stuckonearth I am at the exact same place as you are regarding the hinderance to post and overall hellish feeling. I want to thank you for making the thread.

What I see is right now is, both of us are here just fine and I would like to encourage other new members to join conservations whenever.

 

[s1mplem3]

To give someone my life? Never thought about it but honestly I wouldn't give my life to the worst enemy. I wish people to be happy and my life is hell. I'm sorry about your circumstances and if you willing to chat I would be glad. I do care about you I don't want to use you.

 

[tireddreamer]

You don't have to apologize. Just share your thoughts as they come to you if you feel like it. I feel the same way about corona, it's strange how emotional pain can screw with your natural survival instinct.

 

[Wallace]

Rest assured that you are not alone. Most all of us here are broken, in our own, unique ways.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Welcome.

 

[Mr2005]

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old female living in the U.K. and I'm here because I am in a lot of pain. My membership was accepted a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to post. I still can't contain my self but the best way to describe my feelings will be to say I honestly feel like I am in hell. Now I know that I'm not exactly in Syria or another war zone but I feel broken. Everyday, I wake up and I pick myself apart and I am overwhelmed with thoughts asking myself why am here ?? Why can I not give someone else my life? Why do I not have the foresight to know that people don't care and only use me but I still try and make an effort to meet new people.


As I type this I am in tears. Even with Corona and London basically being empty I actually don't feel the fear others are feeling. It's like I'm being punished and I don't know how to cope. I've taken so many meds,been to a mental hospital don't therapy's and here I am . I'm so sorry if I don't make any sense. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words.

I understood you perfectly, maybe for that reason :)

 

[faust]

I am glad you found strengths to tell about your problem!
I feel sorry life is tough for you and you don't know why you are there.
What is actually causing this pain?
Feel free to talk to us!
Sending you hugs

 

[I’mDone]

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old female living in the U.K. and I'm here because I am in a lot of pain. My membership was accepted a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to post. I still can't contain my self but the best way to describe my feelings will be to say I honestly feel like I am in hell. Now I know that I'm not exactly in Syria or another war zone but I feel broken. Everyday, I wake up and I pick myself apart and I am overwhelmed with thoughts asking myself why am here ?? Why can I not give someone else my life? Why do I not have the foresight to know that people don't care and only use me but I still try and make an effort to meet new people.


As I type this I am in tears. Even with Corona and London basically being empty I actually don't feel the fear others are feeling. It's like I'm being punished and I don't know how to cope. I've taken so many meds,been to a mental hospital don't therapy's and here I am . I'm so sorry if I don't make any sense. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words.

I feel your pain. It pretty much echoes my own feelings. I've done all kinds of therapy, been on antidepressants for so long. I'm also in London and I get what you mean about not being afraid of corona, I actually wish I would get it. I'm new on here so I can't PM but if you want to, feel free to PM me, I'll reply when I'm allowed to receive & send PMs.

 

[Stuckonearth]

I am glad you found strengths to tell about your problem!
I feel sorry life is tough for you and you don't know why you are there.
What is actually causing this pain?
Feel free to talk to us!
Sending you hugs

I feel limited in my life . It's like that feeling you get when you know you are meant to be doing something but you are procrastinating. I was doing okay but today I have broken down and I keep hearing negative thoughts and thinking I am a waste of space

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry life has brought you such pain
You're not alone here

 

[BlackPoppet]

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old female living in the U.K. and I'm here because I am in a lot of pain. My membership was accepted a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to post. I still can't contain my self but the best way to describe my feelings will be to say I honestly feel like I am in hell. Now I know that I'm not exactly in Syria or another war zone but I feel broken. Everyday, I wake up and I pick myself apart and I am overwhelmed with thoughts asking myself why am here ?? Why can I not give someone else my life? Why do I not have the foresight to know that people don't care and only use me but I still try and make an effort to meet new people.


As I type this I am in tears. Even with Corona and London basically being empty I actually don't feel the fear others are feeling. It's like I'm being punished and I don't know how to cope. I've taken so many meds,been to a mental hospital don't therapy's and here I am . I'm so sorry if I don't make any sense. I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words.

You can PM me if you need a friendly ear. I'm British too. I'm fact I'd love for you to PM me. I could use a friendly ear to.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I understood you perfectly, it's so hard to formulate a coherent sentence when you're in that frame of mind, I can relate. Just know we are all here for you, you can vent away to your hearts content. Many of us here feel misunderstood in society so it's great to rely on here to meet like-minded people.

 

[BlackPoppet]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I understood you perfectly, it's so hard to formulate a coherent sentence when you're in that frame of mind, I can relate. Just know we are all here for you, you can vent away to your hearts content. Many of us here feel misunderstood in society so it's great to rely on here to meet like-minded people. ❤

Hi it's nice to meet you. I'm Black Poppet!
I need someone to chat to.
Could someone pm me please. I need advice. Thanks In advance

 

[Deathbydemo]

Hi it's nice to meet you. I'm Black Poppet!
I need someone to chat to.
Could someone pm me please. I need advice. Thanks In advance

Yes of course.

 

[faust]

@Stuckonearth I know what you mean... I always hated this in my life. The worst thing was when I was starting doing something and was still out of this world. It is not just laziness, but the thing utterly different. Probably you do nothing not because you are procrastinating, but because you know that during the whole process you won't be productive like you want it, so what is the point of starting if we won't be productive, - we ask ourselves. It is a deadly circle. There are multiple techniques which may help you do what you want, however, you have to keep in mind that you will have to deal with your thoughts anyway. It is like separating action and thoughts. Like you may think about whatever, but at the same time you can learn to do something automatically. When you learn to do something automatically, you need nothing - no willpower, no mental resources, it does not even seem hard for you because you are used to it.