This is so fucking awful!!

[IwanttodieASAP]

I HATE THIS PLACE. I AM AO DONE.I have wanted to die for months now and I cannot fucking do it! All of you people make me mad. I look how long some of you have been on here and I dread the fact I could become that. Do you know how it feels to fucking hate life so much but cannot leave either!? Do you know how mad that makes me? I don't work, going further into debt, I do nothing to encourage myself to go but I just cannot! Shallow water blackout us a joke, the night night method is a joke, I cannot get N or SN. I fucking hate this! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!. How do I get out of here? Seriously? How? How, how?

I don't need a lecture on how if it was easy than no one would he here. Please talk methods, I do not want to be here anyone!! I hate everything!

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're suffering how come u can't get SN?

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

Sorry you're suffering how come u can't get SN?

It's very hard to come by. I tried to. Plus u don't have any money. I have q credit card which I could use but since the shipping on SN takes so long, I wouldn't get it before my payment was due. And maybe I shouldn't care about that but after I tried to ctb and failed, I lost my car, my apartment, and my job so my parents had to take me back in and I just want to leave as little of a mess as I can for them

 

[jodes2]

It's very hard to come by. I tried to. Plus u don't have any money. I have q credit card which I could use but since the shipping on SN takes so long, I wouldn't get it before my payment was due. And maybe I shouldn't care about that but after I tried to ctb and failed, I lost my car, my apartment, and my job so my parents had to take me back in and I just want to leave as little of a mess as I can for them

I'm so sorry! Let me know by pm if you need a source for SN, I have one that could be of use

 

[counting-out-time]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but I'm in the same boat as you, I've lost everything and I just want to die asap. I'm going with partial hanging in a hotel. It has its cons such as SI kicking in at last minute but I'm gonna try to overcome this.

Yea SN is hard to get hold of cause the suppliers know that people want to get hold of it to CTB. All I can think of to quickly CTB is jumping or getting hit by a train. I'm scared to do them so going with hanging around.

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but I'm in the same boat as you, I've lost everything and I just want to die asap. I'm going with partial hanging in a hotel. It has its cons such as SI kicking in at last minute but I'm gonna try to overcome this.

Yea SN is hard to get hold of cause the suppliers know that people want to get hold of it to CTB. All I can think of to quickly CTB is jumping or getting hit by a train. I'm scared to do them so going with hanging around.

That is interesting you say those two methods becuase they were literally thr ones I wad thinking of trying but I just don't think I could get my body to do it. I've been trying to night night multiple days now but it's not working. Just gives we awful headaches. I hate life so God damn much. I think if I had my gun back (it got taken from me), if finally be brave enough to use it. Honestly

 

[counting-out-time]

To be honest I've been trying to master the night night method and got some good info on it. I'll try and find the post I posted it on but you can pm me if you want detailed info.

Last time I tried it I used a strap with pipe insulation and I did pass out. Not sure how long but I just remember waking up scratching my neck trying to get the strap off.

I got other tools to use next time but I'm still practicing. Still I think I'm gonna follow the robin Williams method as seemed to be reliable and quick

 

[Nirrend]

I HATE THIS PLACE. I AM AO DONE.I have wanted to die for months now and I cannot fucking do it! All of you people make me mad. I look how long some of you have been on here and I dread the fact I could become that. Do you know how it feels to fucking hate life so much but cannot leave either!? Do you know how mad that makes me? I don't work, going further into debt, I do nothing to encourage myself to go but I just cannot! Shallow water blackout us a joke, the night night method is a joke, I cannot get N or SN. I fucking hate this! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!. How do I get out of here? Seriously? How? How, how?

I don't need a lecture on how if it was easy than no one would he here. Please talk methods, I do not want to be here anyone!! I hate everything!

Hi sweet @IwanttodieASAP

I'm sorry, you're really exhausted, sad, angry and you feel injustice

I'm not taking it personaly but I feel bad reading you sweet @IwanttodieASAP ❤

You know, if we could snap our fingers to resolve of all the sadness in this word, we would've do it

But we can't do miracles.

In my side, I want to go with Morphine OD so I can explain you how to obtain it but except explaining you how to access DNM, I can't do much more...

We feel powerless as you feel it right now sweet @IwanttodieASAP ❤

If getting angry after me for example is helping you, if letting out this pain through harsh words is relieving you, do it, I'll understand

I'm sorry and we're sorry, we can't help much more than that.. If I had N, SN, F or any divine stuff in my pocket of course, I would've helped, but also, if getting better is possible, I would do everything I could to help someone to live a happy life

Anyway, I'm sorry..

You're courageous sweet @IwanttodieASAP ❤

We love you ❤

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I look how long some of you have been on here and I dread the fact I could become that.

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

Haha fair enough. I didn't mean it as an insult, but u do have to admit there is some truth fo it.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Haha fair enough. I didn't mean it as an insult, but u do have to admit there is some truth fo it.

I have a progressive illness. I have N, but don't wish to CTB yet so I can spend more time with my family. You don't know shit about why some people choose to stick around here.

 

[niiina]

Man, I'm sorry about that, I know it sucks because I survived all my attempts with partial hanging (I tried two days in a roll), and believe it or not a full suspension, so I'm also frustrated AF, I know it's exhaustive and emotionally draining for you too.

So
I'll try full suspension again, I have been trying for a while but I'm traumatized and my SI appears stronger, but I have no access to other methods so in my case will go like this, it's the most popular method in the world and it kills you fast and doesn't seem to be so agonizing, at least not for long, if you want to ctb right now this is a method and you can just diy it with things you have in hand.
Also if you have time and patience you can order some SN, people say it's effective and agony level is very low. I never tried it myself but apparently works fine

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand your frustrations. I hate this pro suffering world that makes it as difficult as possible for us to die, existing really is such a nightmare. It can certainly be horrific feeling trapped here when all that you wish for is to leave, I'm also very tired of it all and I so envy those with N. But I do hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[fettuccinenoodle]

Yes I agree, I tried partial hanging this past weekend and shallow water black out. I couldn't seem to black out with pressure to my neck and I made it almost 2 minutes and while I couldn't pass out my hands and arms went numb and tingling so I know I'm on the right path but I spent like 3 hours in the bath practicing and work my way up from like 40 seconds lol.

All we can do is keep trying. I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. Not everyone on here wants to go immediately though and many find this site helps them cope and stay a little longer. We are all in different situations

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

I have a progressive illness. I have N, but don't wish to CTB yet so I can spend more time with my family. You don't know shit about why some people choose to stick around here.

Again cool it there haha. You took it way to personally. I'm sorry if I offended ypu, ans honestly not that it is my business, I like ur thought process and I'm glad you r family is worth sticking around for a while longer for you. I'm not trying to offend anyone or diminish anyone's suffering. I'm not unique, we are all on here for basically the same reason, we just have different reasons. I'm sure other people like you exist on here, but I think if you would take a poll or honestly thought sbout it, must people would admit the only reason they are still here is because they cannot overcome their SI.

 

[resolutory]

I've been wondering the same thing today. I have my method prepared, yet.... I just don't do it and I don't know why. Maybe fear of failure? I'm not sure. It's frustrating.

I'm so sorry! Let me know by pm if you need a source for SN, I have one that could be of use

Out of curiosity, (although feel free to tell me to ask in another, maybe more appropriate, post) but how much, generally, is SN? And is it possible for it to get shipped to the UK? I've heard it's pretty hard to get here.

I have another method lined up but I've been thinking about looking into SN to add that to the mix to increase my chances I guess....

 

[jodes2]

I've been wondering the same thing today. I have my method prepared, yet.... I just don't do it and I don't know why. Maybe fear of failure? I'm not sure. It's frustrating.



Out of curiosity, (although feel free to tell me to ask in another, maybe more appropriate, post) but how much, generally, is SN? And is it possible for it to get shipped to the UK? I've heard it's pretty hard to get here.

I have another method lined up but I've been thinking about looking into SN to add that to the mix to increase my chances I guess....

It was about £120 iirc. There are much cheaper places but they all have strict requirements about who they sell to, businesses / schools etc

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Again cool it there haha. You took it way to personally. I'm sorry if I offended ypu, ans honestly not that it is my business, I like ur thought process and I'm glad you r family is worth sticking around for a while longer for you. I'm not trying to offend anyone or diminish anyone's suffering. I'm not unique, we are all on here for basically the same reason, we just have different reasons. I'm sure other people like you exist on here, but I think if you would take a poll or honestly thought sbout it, must people would admit the only reason they are still here is because they cannot overcome their SI.

I just think you can express that you want to overcome your SI sooner rather than later without bringing other members of the site into it.

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

I just think you can express that you want to overcome your SI sooner rather than later without bringing other members of the site into it.

Fajr enough. But my internet was never to offend anyone. My apologies

 

[resolutory]

It was about £120 iirc. There are much cheaper places but they all have strict requirements about who they sell to, businesses / schools etc

Ahh I see, thank you! That's way cheaper than I was expecting.

 

[ARW3N]

It would be a million times easier for me to exit this world if I was in a suicide pact or mass suicide. I would be gone this very second. Unfortunately, it's not like I can pop out and get phenobarbital or cyanide from any street vendor or order it illegally online which would most likely to be a scam.

 

[actual_fox]

Haha fair enough. I didn't mean it as an insult, but u do have to admit there is some truth fo it.

I actually feel this way too, but you know- mom would be sad. (family dilemma)

 

[Mofreeko]

Woah. First of all relax. Take a deep breath. When your thinking changes from existential crisis to more matter of fact then you'll know you're ready. For example when you stop thinking things like "Life is empty, I hate living, why did god allow me to exist, ect" and think things like "Who is going to feed my cat, how do I get my affairs in order, should I deep clean the house before I do it, who should I give my collection of beanie babies to, ect". I think you're still in the existential angry phase right now. The most common thing I noticed about people on here who caught the bus is just how matter of fact they were about it. They were calm, they did their research, said goodbye and then just did it.