This is not my world: on fantasy/fictional coping

[MrsT-800]

I learned recently the word "anemoia" – nostalgia for a time you never lived. On top of generally being suicidal, I've always loved the 80s-90s, though I wasn't alive enough of the 90s to enjoy or really live them. Now it makes sense… seeing my favorite movie, my favorite character, my heart ached.

Maybe I'm not tired of the world. Just this one. And you know what hurts? I can't turn back time or travel it. The world I want to be in is genuinely and eternally gone. Like, in the 2010s maybe, it'd still be possible. But with the iPhone? AI? Society, generally? Forget it.

What almost hurts more, is that my comfort fandom plot turns on changing fate. How anything can be possible. How there's extraordinary in the ordinary and a nobody like me can be crucial to something big or be in on something huge. And yet – here I am, in the 2020s, miserable. Nothing has changed this. I'm partly alive because I'm holding out some tiny and ridiculous hope that it might be real.

I've always preferred to live life off-screen, no phones, more than detox style. I mean, full unplug. But it cannot be in the time and in the world I need.

I almost think it's my past life and that plot was real.

Does anyone else heavily rely on fiction or fantasy to get them through this or feel this sense for a time and place unattainable?

 

[XiaroX]

I'm extremely isolated. I live in a country where I have only one friend. I have no contact with my biological family. I don't go outside, I don't have a phone,and the computer I am using now is not mine. I have no valid ID. I need to live in my head, in a place of fantasy.

 

[MrsT-800]

I'm extremely isolated. I live in a country where I have only one friend. I have no contact with my biological family. I don't go outside, I don't have a phone,and the computer I am using now is not mine. I have no valid ID. I need to live in my head, in a place of fantasy.

Do you feel free at all? Or is it very lonely? Is it the only way you feel connected, or is the society there alright?

 

[indianachrome]

I learned recently the word "anemoia" – nostalgia for a time you never lived. On top of generally being suicidal, I've always loved the 80s-90s, though I wasn't alive enough of the 90s to enjoy or really live them. Now it makes sense… seeing my favorite movie, my favorite character, my heart ached.

Maybe I'm not tired of the world. Just this one. And you know what hurts? I can't turn back time or travel it. The world I want to be in is genuinely and eternally gone. Like, in the 2010s maybe, it'd still be possible. But with the iPhone? AI? Society, generally? Forget it.

What almost hurts more, is that my comfort fandom plot turns on changing fate. How anything can be possible. How there's extraordinary in the ordinary and a nobody like me can be crucial to something big or be in on something huge. And yet – here I am, in the 2020s, miserable. Nothing has changed this. I'm partly alive because I'm holding out some tiny and ridiculous hope that it might be real.

I've always preferred to live life off-screen, no phones, more than detox style. I mean, full unplug. But it cannot be in the time and in the world I need.

I almost think it's my past life and that plot was real.

Does anyone else heavily rely on fiction or fantasy to get them through this or feel this sense for a time and place unattainable?

Since my injury 3 months ago, I've been living most of my days in bed rot and fantasizing about most everything. 100% fantasy as it will never actually come true but it's comforting for some reason. I also invest time and energy researching things that I have no money to pay for and will never actually occur. Not sure why I'm so obsessed with this lately. Maybe it's better than dealing with the misery that is my horrible existence.

 

[Quietist]

Dissociating/living in fantasy has been my coping mechanism since childhood - I'm 38 now.

I've been struggling so much lately between wanting to just remain where I am, and feeling so fucking desperate and disgusted with life that I need to change or die.

And yet... there's been no momentum. I'm stuck. I'm fucked.

I've been devolving so deeply into delusion due to my isolation that I've succumbed to believing I'm having interactions with deities.

I'm thinking of just full-blown regressing and creating an imaginary friend again.

I never thought my life would end up like this. Never.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

I lived through the 90s. I have some happy memories, but I still had a crappy childhood because of the people in it.

I wish there was some way to connect to a Matrix type system so I could live out my fantasy. No, it wouldn't be real. But, if it made me happy and was indistinguishable from the real thing, what does it matter? My real life is miserable.

 

[XiaroX]

Do you feel free at all? Or is it very lonely? Is it the only way you feel connected, or is the society there alright?

There is always a kind of freedom, in imagination, and I think that matters, and sometimes I can still feel connections, but I want to be allowed to let go.

 

[MrsT-800]

Since my injury 3 months ago, I've been living most of my days in bed rot and fantasizing about most everything. 100% fantasy as it will never actually come true but it's comforting for some reason. I also invest time and energy researching things that I have no money to pay for and will never actually occur. Not sure why I'm so obsessed with this lately. Maybe it's better than dealing with the misery that is my horrible existence.

I'm so sorry about your injury. But I hope there's comfort in knowing you're not alone. I do a ton of effort for my fanfics, it's my happy, safe world, but it's ultimately nothing. At least we have our dreams. What are some interests of these you have?

I lived through the 90s. I have some happy memories, but I still had a crappy childhood because of the people in it.

I wish there was some way to connect to a Matrix type system so I could live out my fantasy. No, it wouldn't be real. But, if it made me happy and was indistinguishable from the real thing, what does it matter? My real life is miserable.

I recommend you to read The Experience Maschine debate! It's exactly that!

 

[jatty]

Since my injury 3 months ago, I've been living most of my days in bed rot and fantasizing about most everything. 100% fantasy as it will never actually come true but it's comforting for some reason. I also invest time and energy researching things that I have no money to pay for and will never actually occur. Not sure why I'm so obsessed with this lately. Maybe it's better than dealing with the misery that is my horrible existence.

ah same, the obsessive researching is so real, i didnt even know if anyone else did the same thing. Its for the most randomest things too. And my life has been just bedrot

 

[LostAllHope666]

Feeling this more than ever. AI is taking over everything and the world is becoming a place I barely recognize anymore. My life was miserable growing up, but the world and the people itself didn't feel as bad as they do now. I especially miss early 2000s fandom space, where you could be yourself and make things without judgement. Nowadays thats impossible. Everything is negative for clicks and attention.

I rely heavily on fiction and fantasy worlds to cope, always have since I was little. It's just, having no one to share any of it with has been the hardest thing for me. I don't have any hope for our future as the world is seemingly getting worse and worse.

 

[badatparties]

The AI slop and fake videos piss me off so much. People can just create a video of you casually making out with a dog and people will believe it. Just what need is more fucking societal issues caused by new technology.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've not come across that term either- 'anemoia' but, I really like it. I don't really feel it strongly- if I'm honest. Although, practically speaking, it would have been better for me to have been born maybe 30 years earlier. I think the 70's and 80's were a far better era for the arts industry I work in. I would have been in my 20's and 30's in the 70's and 80's that way- which would have been better I suspect.

I've also often wanted to be a rich person in the Victorian era. I think some of the new developments back then likely would have been incredible to see- if you'd never seen anything like it before. I'd need to be a man though. I hate wearing dresses.

I think maybe a more fly on the wall through the eras might be more fun though. I suspect that each era had its own shit to deal with!

There are people who try to recreate an era. 1950's style homes and clothes for example. I guess there are limits as to what you can do though. I visited an air force museum once and it had many veterans from the Second World War. I got the sense they felt more at home- with the war time surroundings. So- I think we can probably dabble at best now.