This has to be a nightmare

[Unrecognizable7]

After I spent 6 hours yesterday at the hospital waiting and all i got was a letter and rude secretaries, i went to talk to my gp today but he is on holiday as i need a referral for a sleep clinic. The gp that is supposed to take over promised on the phone they'd hand me the referral and when I went there they told me to wait until my gp is back available. I asked if they do gp services and they said "why" and I said "because I have this extreme anxiety" and they said "first you want a referral, now you want to see a gp, what is it?" I already feel like a deformed parasite and I cannot calm myself down anymore. It hurts so fucking bad, i dont have anything to calm me down. Closed psych ward I do not want to go. I do not want to die that badly but the world bullies me into suicide.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Yeah life seems like a bad dream too. I am struggling badly.

 

[bankai]

These people in the healthcare industry are so damn jaded. They just don't care anymore. They go through the motions. Even the good ones who got into it looking to do some good are just going to be fed up after the 100th patient.

Imagine saying this stuff to someone who's suffering. It isn't like a restaurant declining a customer since a dish isn't available.At the very least, they should be polite and apologetic.

 

[Unrecognizable7]

I somehow still believe in karma but I had crazy revenge fantasies. I want to make these people feel the same despair and suffering i feel but I don't want bad karma.