Thinking about stopping my medication

[Ash]

Could do with a sounding board if anyone's for a minute. I've been on anti-depressants for years and a few weeks ago they were increased by the crisis team psychiatrist but I couldn't tolerate the side effects so they were put back down. However, the crisis team have since discharged me (despite still being suicidal) and have instructed my GP surgery to only give me weekly prescriptions instead of monthly as it's always been. Apparently that's safer even though I've never taken an overdose. No-one informed me or even asked me my opinion.

I've been told I can't speak to a GP today and have to wait until Monday (I know they're extremely busy and it's not their fault).

But I'm thinking that maybe I won't bother. I've got enough left of my prescription to wean myself off them and then safely stop.

It's not a "cut off my nose to spite my face" situation, or at least I don't think it is. I want to be in control, to be the one making the decisions. I'm in 40s. I know myself and my illness. People shouldn't be making decisions behind my back and not even telling me about them. I only found out because I logged into the NHS app to renew the prescription and happened to spot it. Otherwise the first I'd know would be next week in the pharmacy.

But it would be good to hear other opinions as I am suicidal at the moment and in a deep depression that has been going on for several months now and doubt myself whether I need to or not.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I stopped taking AD cold turkey 20 days ago and the withdrawls have been hard and I only sleep every other night but to me they werent doing much beside regulating my sleep.

 

[eryu]

I would make sure you are still getting your prescription and don't tell them you're going off it.
Chances are you will be hit by withdrawal (it can hit several months after stopping sometimes) and will have to go back on and it would be much better if you didn't have to fight with your doctor if that happens.
I'm assuming they're benzos? I don't see why they'd bother to try to control the prescription like that otherwise.
People who desperately need their benzos again to manage withdrawal hell are treated like drug addicts and sometimes refused prescriptions because they're clearly acting desperate.
Doctors make no distinction between chemical dependence and addiction. And it's also not acknowledged that withdrawal last for any longer than maybe a few weeks tops.

 

[NeedExit]

Please don't go off immediately. Antidepressants gave me PSSD, that's a persistent sexual dysfunction (no Libido, erectile dysfunction etc.), anhedonia (I'm not able to enjoy anything) and severe brainfog. It's basically the reason I'm here. Go off very VERY slowly. That means around 10% reduction every 4 weeks. Learn how to mix those tablets in a water solution and rigidly stick to this plan. I don't want you to end up with braindamage like me.