Venting Thinking about non-existence freaks me out

[Interloper]

I think I've narrowed it down, not being able to comprehend nothingness is the primary thing that's scaring me. I know no one can really comprehend it, you can say it's just like before you were born but I can't comprehend that either so the comparison is meaningless to me. But maybe that's the point of it. It just fucks with my head, badly. Then there's the whole what-if about an afterlife. On one hand it's semi ingrained into me due to my upbringing but on the other hand it seems to quickly fall apart when I try to convince myself that my friend will be waiting there for me.

My insignificant brain knows it will likely wake up tomorrow, so it's okay with going to sleep. Turn that into permanent sleep? Hoo boy, freak-out central and there I go spiraling again. I've experienced most of the things I've wanted to experience now (due to this forum, funnily enough, but it has also shown me how much of a POS I truly am) and what's next, a cascade of physical health problems because of my neglect? It's going to get ugly, yet nothingness scares me enough to keep me from taking the plunge. I wish there was a fool proof way to trick my brain into thinking it's only a temporary sleep as I poison myself.

Alcohol doesn't help in shutting my brain up, only if I drink enough to also be basically incapacitated, same with benzos that I've tried (RCs at least) which puts me at risk of messing up the process. I'm never going to be able to comprehend nothingness, and I hate that I can't. Is it an ego thing? I'm just another puny human being. It wrecks my brain. Someone come whack me on the back of my skull with a baseball bat... Hard. This post is just all over the place, sorry. I'm tired of the person I am. Life and everything it entails just isn't for me. Almost 2 years here and still procrastinating. If anyone has any good posts by other members here, or book excerpts, about tackling nothingness and non-existence, do share.

 

[Octavia]

The unknown can be rather scary. I must admit that I have not really found a way to be completely unfazed by it, but thinking about the worst things in this world might help.

 

[SamTam33]

I'm not sure what prevents people from not being able to comprehend nothingness. I feel like if you have an imagination, you should be able to do it, but what do I know lol.

I guess you can start by making a list of things that would change if you weren't here.

And ask yourself how those changes will affect the world going forward.

Think of all the people who died today and evaluate how their deaths will affect you going forward.

Nothing is going to change. Nothing stops moving. Not even for the people who knew you.

Your death isn't going to yield them a discount on their groceries or a grace period on their bills. They'll still use the bathroom and feed the dog after you die.

Nothingness is just you not being here; it's the opposite condition (I figure we can imagine what 'opposites' feel like, even if we've never experienced them).

You don't foresee yourself living forever. So if you can imagine the passing of time and you dying someday - then you can adjust the calendar as needed.

E.g., if you can't see yourself alive at 136 years old, then what's stopping you from not seeing yourself alive next year?

 

[HopelessSoul]

If it helps you could check out Robert Monroes books or interviews, he is considered the father of OBES (out of body experiences) and gives a different perspective on what
happens after death, basically that there is no such thing as non existence, it is and endless cycle of death and rebirth unless the person avoids reincarnation and stays in the
astral plane forever or chooses to incarnate again, so consciousness wouldnt be something that ends when the physical body dies but is endless and only changes from one
state to another.

Not saying its true of course, just my opinion, Im sorry that you are going through this and I wish you the best

 

[FuneralCry]

There is just nothing to fear as we simply won't exist at that point, we won't even be aware of the fact that we are dead. We are destined to return to nothing, and this is completely inescapable, so death should never be feared and anyway nothingness is ideal as it's the absence of all suffering and torment. Existence is the true terrifying thing as it's the source of all harm. One cannot be harmed by death as there is nothing to harm them. I personally find so much comfort in the thought of permanent nonexistence.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

I get this fear so much

 

[ExistHarm]

There is just nothing to fear as we simply won't exist at that point, we won't even be aware of the fact that we are dead. We are destined to return to nothing, and this is completely inescapable, so death should never be feared and anyway nothingness is ideal as it's the absence of all suffering and torment. Existence is the true terrifying thing as it's the source of all harm. One cannot be harmed by death as there is nothing to harm them. I personally find so much comfort in the thought of permanent nonexistence.

your comments always bring me some peace

 

[AllMyDreams]

I think I've narrowed it down, not being able to comprehend nothingness is the primary thing that's scaring me. I know no one can really comprehend it, you can say it's just like before you were born but I can't comprehend that either so the comparison is meaningless to me. But maybe that's the point of it. It just fucks with my head, badly. Then there's the whole what-if about an afterlife. On one hand it's semi ingrained into me due to my upbringing but on the other hand it seems to quickly fall apart when I try to convince myself that my friend will be waiting there for me.

My insignificant brain knows it will likely wake up tomorrow, so it's okay with going to sleep. Turn that into permanent sleep? Hoo boy, freak-out central and there I go spiraling again. I've experienced most of the things I've wanted to experience now (due to this forum, funnily enough, but it has also shown me how much of a POS I truly am) and what's next, a cascade of physical health problems because of my neglect? It's going to get ugly, yet nothingness scares me enough to keep me from taking the plunge. I wish there was a fool proof way to trick my brain into thinking it's only a temporary sleep as I poison myself.

Alcohol doesn't help in shutting my brain up, only if I drink enough to also be basically incapacitated, same with benzos that I've tried (RCs at least) which puts me at risk of messing up the process. I'm never going to be able to comprehend nothingness, and I hate that I can't. Is it an ego thing? I'm just another puny human being. It wrecks my brain. Someone come whack me on the back of my skull with a baseball bat... Hard. This post is just all over the place, sorry. I'm tired of the person I am. Life and everything it entails just isn't for me. Almost 2 years here and still procrastinating. If anyone has any good posts by other members here, or book excerpts, about tackling nothingness and non-existence, do share.

Nobody can really know... my two cents is that you will either be reincarnated, or you will achieve some higher 'status' or place in the universe that humans can't really comprehend right now. Because in physics, energy can't be created or destroyed, so why wouldn't the same apply to souls?

I'm not sure what the criteria are but I would guess that if you soul is 'enlightened' or 'experienced' enough through multiple reincarnations, then you might ascend to the higher 'status' and become part of the universe. Otherwise, you'll be reincarnated, which will be a lottery as to your circumstances, though your soul can grow no matter what you experience.

I don't believe though that there's an afterlife how religions describe it. Whatever 'next stage' there is for us, I believe it's impossible for humans to comprehend. Things like heaven and hell just seem like humans projecting everything good/everything bad from the world we know and saying that the unknown looks like that too, but there is so much in the universe our small brains can't begin to process.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I can't relate. I can't wait to embrace the eternal nothingness. I love sleep, so I will love eternal sleep. It's a win for me. I would be fucked if I believed in Hell, but I think that Catholic misinterpretation of the Bible's "Hades" (burning, hellfire) is garbage.

 

[Mr. Squiggles]

reading on quantum suicide / immortality messed with my head. when i got closest to dying it was a serene relief. no worries or weight, only void