Venting Thinking about ctb

[usernamesarehard]

I'm just tired and ready to go. I want to ctb when I get home.

Life feels so pointless. I have no ambition or any real reason left to live.

I just want to be loved and to give love to someone else, but that won't happen.

I guess I'm also not over my ex. It feels like I'll never find someone like him who will love me the way he did.

It feels like I'll never find someone at all.

Feel free to give advice and thoughts.

I don't know if I'm looking for a reason to stay or if I'm just posting my goodbye thread.

 

[CumbriaCTB]

I just want to be loved and to give love to someone else, but that won't happen.

I feel you. This is the only real goal I have in life as well: everything else is just a means to that end.

Out of curiosity: do you have a particular CTB method/plan in mind?

 

[usernamesarehard]

I've done some thinking and realized the problem is me. Having a partner won't fix me.

Out of curiosity: do you have a particular CTB method/plan in mind?

Yeah. I'm planning on eating apricot seeds.

 

[strawberry931]

Yeah. I'm planning on eating apricot seeds.

How many will you consume? Are you going to grind them up first? I'm planning on this too, but paired with CO by burning charcoal. I am planning on grinding 100+ seeds and putting into size 0 capsules. I estimate this to be less than 25 capsules in total.

 

[usernamesarehard]

How many will you consume? Are you going to grind them up first? I'm planning on this too, but paired with CO by burning charcoal. I am planning on grinding 100+ seeds and putting into size 0 capsules. I estimate this to be less than 25 capsules in total.

I made a post and it got removed, but from what I read before it was removed other users did some research and found it might not be a viable method.

I ate a few on my attempt, but I don't think I ate enough, or it really isn't a good method. I'm not totally sure which one.

 

[strawberry931]

I made a post and it got removed, but from what I read before it was removed other users did some research and found it might not be a viable method.

I ate a few on my attempt, but I don't think I ate enough, or it really isn't a good method. I'm not totally sure which one.

Yeah a few probably wouldn't do it. Based on my research you would need at least 20 and they should be chewed or ground. I get ranges from 20 to 60 due to the amygdalin concentration varying. This is why I plan on grinding 100+ of them. My research found that ground ones will produce hydrogen cyanide much more quickly.