thinking about ctb tonight

[k7654321]

I just don't know if I'm ever gonna feel ready for this, but I feel like the longer I wait the more I'm in danger that someone calls the police and I get locked up all over again. I can never feel safe knowing that that could happen at any time, and it is so hard to make the decision because I don't know if I want to die right now, but I know I CANNOT go back to hospital and the only way I can be safe is if I'm dead. I don't know if this makes sense, but it is hard when you can't trust anyone because you know they would rather send me to hospital than let me make my own choice. I keep going to the bridge at night, and I get too scared, but what if I never feel ready? Maybe I just have to do it anyway even if I'm scared

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so horrible how we exist in this dreadful world where suicidal people are inhumanely treat like criminals simply for wanting to make a decision they have every right to make. People should be able to die exactly when they wish to without the fear of interference, it disgusts me how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option.

 

[Iamtired]

It's just so horrible how we exist in this dreadful world where suicidal people are inhumanely treat like criminals simply for wanting to make a decision they have every right to make. People should be able to die exactly when they wish to without the fear of interference, it disgusts me how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option.

It's not accepted as a valid option because we're meant to want to help one another at all costs. In society we still want others to exist despite their mental anguish. I believe this honestly would change if there were enough resources to help people in bad situations. But there isn't in dictatorships. So….yeah.